Week from Hell!!

Oh. My. God. This week sucked balls.

Let's start with the weekend actually.

I'm not sure I mentioned the new dancer who was starting? He's also a friend of Cody's -- great guy, and Joel told me to take him under my wing. So I did. I even so much as offered to go underwear shopping with him. We haven't yet -- and that's good! In a totally selfish way, I mean.

See, here's the thing -- even though I made more money than him (not by much) he was getting tons more attention than I was. Which is not a good indicator of future tips. So I need to step it up a notch. I'm getting some of that moisturizer stuff that gradually tans your skin. I'm ordering new and hotter underwear. I'm getting even more serious about my charm and wit on gay networking sites like Manhunt which -- little secret -- most of those (there's some exceptions) -- mostly I use those to stir up customers to come tip me. Does that make me a bad person?

So then Monday rolls around. And I'm deathly sick.
And my friend Sarah tells me that she's been put in charge of, basically, the entire Homecoming float for the drama club. Cause tomorrow, Saturday, is Homecoming.
And it's National Coming Out Week, which is kind of my baby this year. (Okay, I know it was really last week -- we moved it at my school. Next, we're moving Christmas. :P)
And it's crunch time for the main stage play I'm in.
And it's my last week at A&F. (Finished today!!! YAY! Except I don't have another job yet...)
Aaaaaaaaand it's the auditions week for the one acts, which I'm directing one because that's what you have to do when you are taking the Directing class -- a class I need to graduate. In fact, that's why I couldn't be at Club XS last night. Call back auditions.

In the past four days, I think I got eight hours of sleep. I won't be getting much sleep until Sunday night, actually.

Enough of my whining though, I have to go pretend to have a social life (but I'm really using my friends for their couch tonight, so I can get my couple hours of sleep on campus so I don't have to fight for parking tomorrow.)

Life is great, and porn stars make it that much better.

Soooo...how is everyone doing? I am having a fantastic weekend. I don't have the pictures or videos yet, but I think there's enough that they can get a whole seperate post.

Mainly because of my new heroes: Christian Owen, Blake Riley, Tommy Blade, and Aaron James. Oh, which reminds me, the porn star I was asking about before is JetSet's Aaron James. I asked him. Thanks for all the help, guys. :-P

Anyways, this weekend. Ooooh, this weekend! Let's start with way earlier in the week. I'd been talking to Christian Owen over Myspace about his upcoming appearance. He suggested I should talk to Joel about coming in on Friday...which I planned to do until I realized that Friday night I was working and then I had my friend Kat's "Evil Party" birthday party to go to. I was hugely disappointed I wouldn't get to meet him. Or Blake Riley. Or Tommy Blade (who I'd heard of at the time, but could not for the life of me place. As it turns out, that's because I still haven't gotten to see any of his videos -- not even The Velvet Mafia*.)

So I find out when I get to Club XS on Thursday night that Christian Owen and Tommy Blade are due in that night and will be at the club. Not a chance I'm gonna miss, y'know? Oh, and I hung out with Tony Gibble all night, which leads me to the epiphany I just had: lots of my friends are hot, and most of us get paid for it. :P Back on topic though...when Christian Owen arrived and I saw him, I went over and said hi and he recognized me...so we met formally and then I noticed that his shirt had shinies on it and I got all distracted. I don't know, but I think he has a Bedazzler or something to make shirts like that. I gotta get me one of those.

Then I met Tommy Blade, and somehow my hair color came up and he was insisting that I was not blond. (I am.) So I pointed out that I had like a pound of gel in my hair and he should check the color in the back where there was less product. So he starts examining the back of my head.

Little known fact: if you want me to melt, run your fingers through the hair on the back of my head. You know, like Tommy was doing. Honest to God, Tommy could have been like "Hey, can I throw you into oncoming traffic?" and I would have been like "Yeeeeeeeeeaaaaahhhh."
Oh, and he also said my hair smelled good. Which, with the products I use and the amount of them that were in my hair...I'm really not actually surprised.

And Christian Owen told me about his plans to start producing porn, which I am so excited for. And we talked about 21st birthdays and he described his in as much detail as he could. "I don't remember mine."

After I left the club, after being told by Christian and Tommy I had to come the next night (and having that okayed by Joel), I went to the diner down the street where I am apparently enough of a regular that the owner feels the need to check up on me, and wonders what's wrong when I show up by myself. I guess that's a good thing.
Anyways, I left there a half hour later properly caffeinated and with three mozz sticks I hadn't devoured in tow. I always box everything that's left over now -- no matter how small, it means there's food at home.

I woke up the next morning and soon after headed to the mall. I handed my job application into the Gap and then went to Abercrombie & Fitch where I told the assistant manager that I was putting in my two weeks. He told me he'd tell the bitch -- I mean the store manager. I'm not sure if he did or not, but I feel like he did because she told everyone what a bad mood she was in after he went into the back office with her.
And god damn was she in a bad mood. And god damn was I not putting up with it. The whole day was like a battle of the attitudes, and it sucked. I was in a horrid mood when I left work at 11:30 instead of 11:00.

I just want it for the record though: I love the person who is my manger. I just hate her as a a manager. Does that make sense? Good.
So I arrived at Club XS shortly before the four porn stars (the three featured ones and Aaron James who, y'know, he's our resident pornie, why not?) were going to go on stage. It was enough time for me to meet Blake Riley and for me to be like "Oh, hi! I'm Graham. I leave you stupid comments about how you're gonna be here Thursday...but I meant Friday." And, to his credit, rather than backing away slowly from the retarded boy, he laughed about it.
Tommy also managed to find two more of my "spots" before they went upstairs to perform.
And we all chatted about their industry, and underwear, and I'm all inspired to go get myself some new stuff. And I have some money. But I don't own a camera and that's kind of something I need. Especially, y'know, could have used one this weekend.

So I went up to watch their performance. I am not, however, cut out to be an audience member. And I only had two ones with me. I tipped Tommy first, and then I tipped Christian and then I was out.
Jenny wanted a picture of me and Tommy Blade, so she gave me a dollar to tip him. She snapped a picture. And then his fingers curled into my hair and he yanked my head around, grabbed my chin, and kissed me. Now by the end of the night, having a porn star's lips on mine was not as big of a deal, but since this was the first one I smiled huge and disappeared into the crowd to calm down. Jenny got a picture of Tommy and I looking at each other just after he grabbed my chin but just before he kissed me.
I know, I know, they were kissing lots of people. That's beside the point, and don't burst my bubble.

So, a little while later they were playing Pink's "U + Ur Hand" and Blake started doing this jerking-off hand motion that I do when I dance to that song. As of yet, we're the only two people I've ever seen do that. So I grabbed my friend Robbie and was like "Gimme a dollar, I'll pay you back!" So he handed me a dollar, and I went over and gave it to Blake and told him that little tidbit I just shared with all of you. And he told me...well, nevermind what he told me but let's just say...I'd buy that porn with that soundtrack. :-P
So, I started to make my way back into the crowd and Blake invites me up on stage. I've talked about this before: I'm not good at being in the audience. I'd rather be on stage performing. And when I see other people performing I always just want to jump in. Soooo, I hopped up on the stage, and there I am grinding with Blake Riley. And then Christian Owen jumped up behind me. It was a Graham Sandwich on Porn Stars. Hottttttt.
So, I said to Blake "It's so weird dancing up here with clothes on" and he jokingly invited me to put on a pair of his underwear. Or I think he was joking. If he wasn't, I'm gonna be pissed with myself for not doing it. :-P


Anyways, I got off the stage because I know I can't monopolize their time. And Luke comes up and is like "I think the local yokels need to take back the stage. Take off your shirt." So I took off my shirt and he and I jumped up on stage and danced behind them. For the record, it was all his idea, I just gave in to peer pressure.
And on a side note, Luke and I are totally BFFs-in-the-making.
All three of them are great dancers, but Christian was phenomenal and I need to learn to move like he does. Seriously. Also, I need his boots. I know my feet don't go into boots very comfortably but I want his boots anyways.

Anywho after their performance I went downstairs to hang out with them some more and I heard like...orgasmic moaning coming from one of their suitcases. At first I was super confused and then I realized what it was: a cell phone ring tone. I don't know who's it was, but I definitely want that for my phone.
They came down and changed and discussed their next outfits and it was kinda cool, seeing porn stars wandering around naked right in front of me. By kind of, what I secretly mean is, it was all I could do to keep myself from jumping them right then and there.
Blake gave me a kiss when he came down, I guess a thanks for the dollar? I think I should have been, y'know, kissing the ground he walked on in thanks for the dance but whatever. I apologized for only having two bucks and only borrowing two others.
And then Christian's like "The blog you wrote was all I needed, that was so sweet." So we got talking about my blog, I realized Blake didn't know about when I wrote about him, so I told him I would send him a link. Granted, that was from when I first discovered him in June, but whatever.

Then Luke got me a poster for them all to sign...here's what they wrote:
Blake Riley: "Graham Keep it hard and tight!! :) Blake Riley"

Christian Owen: "w love Baby Graham w love Stay Real XOXO C. Owen XOXO"

Aaron James: "Sexxy ass Graham muah Aaron AJ James"

And I can't read what Tommy Blade wrote but I'm sure it's amazing. I can make out that it ends in "Tommy Blade" and I think it starts with "Love" but there's stuff in the middle. I'll keep studying it and get back to you.

So shortly after that, I finally left for the Evil Party, an hour later than I had intended to, and without time to stop by my apartment I arrived without my costume. I told everyone "I'm dressed as Abercrombie, isn't that evil enough?" and I had high hopes of getting hammered.
I had to be a DD though, so I just drank Coke. It's chill though.

Tonight I work and then it is my friend Becky's birthday party. Tomorrow is a field trip to Philly for my directing class. Tuesday my radio commercial for my Comm class is due and I have no idea when I'm recording it.
But you know what? I love my life.

I could be wrong (I probably am) but I think I've ascended from fan to friend for these four amazing porn stars. :D And I'm totally seeing if I can get them to perform in Providence for my 21st birthday party. But not on my 21st so I can remember it.
I dunno though. I feel like I talked about myself too much, but then, what else is new? I gotta learn to turn that off. :-P

(*Does anyone else really not find the idea of an actual, literal gay mafia all that far-fetched? Maybe it's because Rhode Island practically operates like a very civilized and non-violent crime syndicate....you know, it's like an extreme of the "it's not what you know, it's who you know.")

"Don't just pussyfoot around and sit on your assets..."

Sooooooooo how about, I just got off the phone with Muse for the first time in roughly forever (which, of course, for eternal beings like Muses is really not much time at all, but that doesn't mean we didn't miss each other terribly :-P) It was highly exciting especially because she let me in on a nice little secret........a secret which I can't share too much detail of but it's plenty exciting.

So, my further work drama......
So, when I left work Saturday I printed my schedule like I always do. It said very neatly (and I'm reading this off the paper as I type this):

Shift # of Hours
Sat 9/29 12:00p-05:00p 5.00
Sun 9/30
Mon 10/01
Tue 10/02
Wed 10/03
Thu 10/04
Fri 10/05 05:00p-11:00p 6.00
Sat 10/06 05:00p-10:00p 5.00

So imagine my surprise when I emerged from my Sunday night rehearsal to find a very nice voicemail....
"Hi Graham, this is Alyssa from Abercrombie. I'm just calling to confirm your shift tomorrow from 11 to 4."
And of course, it's 11pm, way too late to call anyone at the store on a Sunday (the mall closes early on Sundays).
So, the next morning at 8:30, while I'm on my way to class I call and who answers but our store manager. Now, I want to clarify first: I love my store manager as a person, but as a manager I really want her to eat shit and die.
Anyways, she answers and I say "Hi, it's Graham. I've got a question. See, I printed my schedule and it says I'm not working until Friday but Alyssa left me a voice mail saying I work today at 11. Which is it?"
"We need you to come in today," she tells me.
Okay, you stupid little bint, I plan my week around three things: class, rehearsal and the schedule that I print on Saturdays. Do not change it after Saturday! "No," I said.
To her credit, she was good. "You can't?"
Actually, yes, I could have worked it out. I just didn't want to deal with her. "No, I can't."
She sighs. That sigh where she's mulling over if she's going to have to write me up or not. I don't know what she decided but she said "Okay."
I replied with a cheerful "Bye!"
And she hung up.

"When [I] walk it's not about a direction, it's a chance to see [my] hips sway..."

Remember those days when my life was a whirlwind of events, one thing after another, and yet I managed to be perfectly calm collected and content? (The three C's?)

They're back, and all they needed was a simple little phrase. "Two weeks". As in, the next time I go into work I will be giving my manager my two weeks. I have four applications sitting in my room waiting to be filled out, and I know that the Gap already wants me.

I have some funny anecdotes before I continue...
This one just happened. Katie was telling me about her new word "rapetuous" -- which is when people talk about or watch or engage in rape. Apparently, they're discussing rape in her English class lately so the class is "rapetuous". And she said, everything is becoming rapetuous in her mind because they're talking about it so much.
And then I went to get a Coke. And I opened the fridge, reached my hand in it and pulled out (a Coke). So, of course, I walked out and said "I just went inside the fridge" and she goes "You're so rapetuous!"
Yeah, look your fridge in the eyes now, now that you know how dirty that can be.

Now, going back in time a bit...
Yesterday at the mall, as I'm in American Eagle picking up a job application, I saw a hoodie that I liked and I pointed it out to Cody, who was with me. I went over to it and was like "I kinda like this!"
And he looks at me and goes "I guess if you were black."
Just as three large black men walked past him. Towards the hoodies no less.
The timing could not have been more perfect if I'd paid them to walk in right then.

So, I've been working at Abercrombie & Fitch a lot. Doing classes, which are going decently well. And working at Club XS. I swear that there will be pictures soon!! In any case, here's a video Jenny made of some of the group of friends...and I'm in it! And yay!!

Cyclone

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For those of you in the area, this upcoming weekend is the Club XS Anniversary Party. Friday is a Porn Star Palooza featuring two of my favorites (and a third guy, who's pretty hot too!) Christian Owen and Blake Riley! Saturday is Inaya Day's performance. I won't be there. Actually, I'm kind of disappointed about that.
Bossman Joel said that he didn't need me (his nice way of saying "don't come in") because there's "so much going on", which is his way of saying "you're gonna be distracting, please go away." Honestly, I really don't think I'll be all that distracting next to three gorgeous porn stars, and considering that Chris only works some of the time I'm really the longest-lasting regular dancer the club has so I feel like I should be at the anniversary party, but, hey, I'll do what the Bossman says. And I will only complain about it here. :-P

To no avail....

Soooooooo......

The drama continues. Cody called me and left a voice mail where he said he thought I was overreacting because he goes to the mall and would have found out the answer to his question anyways.

.....except, that wasn't the issue. The issue was, he lied to me. Like, point blank told me something that was incredibly not the truth. Damon didn't tell him shit, let alone the wrong name of the mall he works at, y'know? That's what made me mad.

So I called Cody back and I told him I didn't care if he knew where Damon worked, that wasn't why I was upset. So then, he leaps to assuming I'm mad because he told Robbie. Because, apparently, people don't get mad when they get lied to anymore? I must have missed that memo.

"RE: Reacting to Lies
TO: Whom it May Concern

This is a company wide policy change, lying is no longer bad and you should ignore it when it happens to you. Tell a few fibs for practice today and then tomorrow we'll see how things go with this policy change.

Thanks for your understanding,
God
CEO of Humanity Inc."

Did any of you get that one?

Anyways, so I explained in no uncertain terms that I was pissed because he lied to me and for no other reason. He started to make more excuses..."In the future..."
So I had to cut him off, cause I was done with hearing it. "There is no future. We're done."
He didn't sound broken up about it, so I can't count this as being a great loss. Although, I am upset by the whole thing. Like I said before, I don't really know where I stand with anyone at the moment, and without Cody's solid friendship (which was clearly not that solid or this whole lying thing would not have happened to begin with) I'm a lot shaken. Also, he was my best friend...if that's the best I can do for friends, what does that say about me?

In other, more cheerful news...I had some time off of work!!

And classes started and I hate it....

But I had some time off of work!!

Catching Up!

Moving in was fairly uneventful. The big thing was, of course, that I didn't have a bed. I had my heart set on a futon, so my mom and I went and picked one out.

Problem? They didn't have the frame in stock. "We'll call you Friday, we should have it in by then," the man said.
It's Sunday. Still haven't heard a word. I am livid. I'm calling them tomorrow, but I am pissed! It is not my job to find out what they have in stock, especially since I already paid for the damn thing.

Work has been a bitch, and I really have no funny anecdotes. One of my managers graduated from my college last year, and although we never met each other we each knew of each other so that's kinda cool. But the store is incredibly understaffed. We're having eight hour shifts instead of five. Today my eight hours turned into ten -- without a break. And I have blisters like whoa all over my feet.

I won't be dancing for a couple of weeks here, I've talked to my boss at Club XS and he said I had to wait a bit for one of the dancers to leave in a couple weeks. Unfortch, further investigation revealed that (I think) it's my friend Todd who we're waiting on, and I prob'ly won't get to see him. But we'll see.

But, in case that wasn't enough....
I have no idea where I stand with almost all of my friends. There were so many break ups while I was gone. The most major of these is that of my two friends Damon and Robbie. Damon works in my store and we've been hanging out.
So imagine my surprise when Cody, formerly my best friend, calls and asks if I work with Damon -- especially when he's never given a rat's ass about Damon before and -- sure, I'll say it -- he had plenty to do with the end of that relationship given that Robbie and he hooked up during the relationship. Damon had already mentioned to me that he wasn't speaking to Cody, so when Cody explained that Damon had told him that he was working at Abercrombie & Fitch at the Park Town mall...which is a twisted and bizarre version of the name of the mall we work in. But since Damon doesn't talk to Cody, I knew something weird was up.

The next day Robbie texted me to tell me not to become "best buddies" with Damon just because we work together, and told me that Damon was trying to turn people against him. Except for the one little detail that Damon hadn't been trying to make me have any opinion of Robbie at all...I have been trying very hard to not take sides.
Robbie didn't score himself any points with that little tactic, and I let him know that. And I also let Cody know how ridiculously pissed I was/am at him. I'm more than pissed with him though. How can you lie to one of your best friends? And like, seriously, hasn't he caused enough damage already? At this point, I'm done with him. There's so many reasons for me to not want to be around him, and only a few reasons to continue our friendship that I can think of. It doesn't seem worth it.

Anyways, the whole thing has left me with a lot of doubt regarding my relationships with almost everyone here and feeling very much alone. I mean, Cody's like the one I've been hanging out with for the longest and our friendship kind of always seemed like a given. If that one's on the fritz...

Oh, and on the boy front? You know how it seemed like James might kinda be into me two weeks ago when he was in RI? Well, now we're back in PA and he's totally into skanky blonder-than-me boys with ugly haircuts instead. I mean, not that I'm bitter or jealous at all...(yeah, maturity's clearly not rearing its ugly head in this post. :P) In fact, the whole love-life thing looks from this angle like it's going to be a while before there's any progress there. Even my smaller, mostly secret crushes seem like wastes of time right now. And I'm all pessimistic and mopey and boring right now. Laaaaame.

So, to sum it all up...I want to be back in Rhode Island!!!!!

Wowza!!

This has been a big week.

Let me explain...rumor has it, Club XL was shut down on Tuesday. I've heard a few things, and I don't want to say anything bad that's unconfirmed at this point so I won't go into details. Suffice to say, I think that sucks.

One of the days this week, I can't remember which, I went to see Hairspray. It was awesome, even though I definitely broke some personal rules seeing it. (I always see the stage version before I see the movie, but I have never seen Hairspray on stage.)

On movie night (Tuesday) we watched Eurotrip, which was surprisingly hysterical, and Mommy Dearest. Yes, we are that gay. :-P

Thursday I went to this private beach that my family belongs to with my mother. Just my mother. I half expected it to be excruciating, but it turned out to be a nice time. We went and got ice cream afterwards (which is our tradition). We went home...and within two hours I was sick with some kind of awful cold or something.

Friday. Oh, Friday. Friday sucked. Firstly, I was sick. So I took a lot of medicine before I went to work. I ate a snack, got ready, ate a frozen dinner and was all set to go get gas and be on time for work with no rush. So mom decided I hadn't had enough to eat. And even though I argued and told her I was fine, she refused to listen. So, the twenty minutes I had planned on using to leisurely get gas were spent waiting for her to fix whatever the hell she wanted me to eat. I wolfed it down, because now I was running late and I still didn't have enough gas to get to work. And, this of course, is on top of my deadly cold and heavy medication (which helped very little). Also, it's rush hour.

So I get to the first gas station, the one that's convenient to go to on the way to work. It is packed. I sat there for ten minutes waiting for someone to get their gas and leave, and no one did. So I went to the next gas station, which is pretty much out-of-the-way. I got my gas and then I go to get out. Of course, there's no break in traffic for me to get out the way that easily puts me back the way I need to go, so I turn right instead. I officially have no time to waste waiting.
So I head down the road looking for a place to turn around. I spot a parking lot, right by an entrance ramp to the highway. I turn in, but -- mainly because I am in no way in a suitable situation to be driving, as I'm sure you understand -- I hit the curb. Although it didn't feel like I hit it that badly, as I turned around I felt a little wobbliness. Then I made it out onto the highway and the car begins to violently shake.
So I pulled over, freaking out. I think, I have to get out of the car, and see what happened. So I go to open the door. And an 18-wheeler blows by me, it would have taken off the door if I had gotten it open already. So I freak out even more and call mom. She tells me I have to get out of the car, on the passenger side. So I do. She and dad take both their cars to come help me. Meanwhile, I call A&F and tell them I'm going to be late -- which is not a newsflash since I'm already ten minutes late for my shift at this point. Then I call AAA, of course.
The one lucky break of the day is that AAA and my parents all showed up at once. The tow guy determined that it looked like I'd broken the steering rod and he would have to tow, so mom took me to work and dad dealt with that.

Unfortunately, this leaves me car-less. I helped close the store for the night and mom picked me up.
I managed to go out Saturday night (I was feeling better) by the Grace of God. And by that I mean, Grace picked me up because she wanted to go to Mirabar. It was awesome, packed, but that just meant that everyone was there. Part of this may have been because of the power outage at Avalon in Boston.
So I crashed at my friend Brian's house that night, as I had been invited to go to the beach with a bunch of them. (A beach I'd never been to before!)

Unfortunately, I'm a lot frazzled still. I neglected to bring, y'know, anything for the trip to the beach or to establish a way of getting home. Brian lent me clothes, and my dad picked me up afterwards.
Brian and I picked up Ty at his house, and then met up with Henry and his friend (who I think is named Greg?) and then we went to the beach. There we awaited the arrival of Joel -- who I hadn't met before.
Somewhere during the day, Mike, Neil, and Eric and a bunch of others showed up and their group sort of melded into ours. Later on, a group of guys -- including two of the most spectacularly gorgeous men I have ever seen in person (who were, of course, a couple, just my luck :-P). One of them, Billy, who I got talking to...I promise you...divine. And, on top of that? Did not seem to have an attitude. What are the chances, right? So it was awesome meeting them.

We left just as they started clearing out the beach because of thunder. I'm proud to say, we had the idea first. Just sayin'. So I get home, and my sunburns are beginning to show up. So mom and my brother decide we're going to go see Live Free or Die Hard. It was awesome, I think it's my second favorite Die Hard movie (the favorite being the first one of course.) Got back home afterwards, watched The Dead Zone and then the repeat of The 4400 on USA.

So at this point, I am finally relaxing in my own bed....and observing the various burned places on my body. My feet. My shins. My arms. My shouders. My back. My abdomen. My face. Fortunately, my lower back and my ass are fine so I can at least sit down.

Whoa, so much going on!

I haven't been updating because, for the most part, there's been nothing going on. And I keep losing track of the days of the week. (Brad, I'm gonna post-date a Matt Damon post to a Thursday, and I'm gonna write it ASAP! Maybe I'll post-date to *next* Thursday...) Looking back though, my vast "nothing" to update on is actually quite a lot of stuff.

So, I got hired at Dark Lady. It's very different from Club XS but also very similar. They schedule us on different nights, but I guess some of the dancers aren't totally reliable because I occassionally get calls on Monday that are like "Hey, come in. Tonight. Yeah, in like an hour would be great." Usually I'm scheduled for Saturday so....
The tips aren't great, we need to publicize the dancers more so we can get better tips. We're working on it.

Speaking of publicizing, and I acknowledge this is rather late if anyone reading this would be planning on going:It's a benefit for FACTS Nursery, which is actually a really good cause, so this is me doing charity work. Who knew I could do a good deed and be almost naked? :P

I have been working at A&F a lot too. Of course, that still leaves plenty of time to have fun. But working there can be quite the adventure too. For example, a woman was evangelizing at me the other day. At work. At Abercrombie & Fitch.
I mean, she started out normal, asking if I liked work, where I was from, my name, etc. Okay, so she was slightly creepy to start out with.
But when I revealed that I'm a city person and she irritably replied with "No you're not. This is God's country!" That's when it hit me: this woman is a religious nut and she's about to give me a message from God.
Now, I have nothing against people who want to spread the word of God. But there's a time, there's a place, and there's a way to do it. This woman had none of the three done correctly. In fact, she broke every rule I'm about to write out.

Graham's Helpful Tips for Evangelizing

1. Do not interrupt a person who is working to tell them about God's love. You are getting in the way of their job, and no God, however happy and loving, is going to sound good when the manager writes up a person because you just couldn't keep the Good News to yourself.
2. If you must evangelize when a person is working, do not stand in the way. Follow them around as they work, sure, but do not stand there making sure they can only be talking to you.
3. If a person you are evangelizing too says something you disagree with, let it go. It might be a matter of opinion. You might be an evangelist, but you're not God, your opinion is not right. Do not tell them cities are bad. Do not tell them that the reason they like to stay busy is because they haven't realized God's love. And, most importantly, do not act like they couldn't possibly know that God loves them without hearing it from you first.
4. Lastly, do not make assumptions about people. If someone says they enjoy going to nightclubs, and you run into them at work, this does not automatically make a person too busy. Do not assume that they have no time in between these two activities. That doesn't make you a messenger of God, it makes you an idiot. I'm just sayin'.

I went out with a bunch of friends from work. To a straight club. Well, two straight clubs. Those places are frikkin' expensive, can I just say? But it was fun. Straight people do not, as a whole, party as hard as gay people do at clubs. I mean, I was sober, and for all the drinking they did to loosen up and have a good time...I was having just as much fun as they were without a drop. I was a little off my game at first cause I felt a little awkward but, oh well. It was a good time, definitely.

And here's a horrible picture of me at the Roxy...

"A feeling, a moment, a bursting of bubbles..."

I am having a serious Darren Hayes day. Okay, week. Month. Life. Shut up, I'm not obsessed.
First, there's his new music video, which I have been watching repeatedly for roughly since I first found out about it. When I can't actually watch it, I play it in my head. :P I don't understand the video, it's a little trippy, but I adore it anyways.

He also is on the new A&F CD with his song (from his upcoming album) "Step Into the Light". My manager laughed at me when I got all excited over the song, cause I was telling her about it (she'd missed it on her break) and she said something along the lines of "I'll know which song it is because I'll just watch you have a seizure." Yeah, I was that excited.

I've now worked at the Dark Lady three times. It needs to publicize its dancers a lot more, which is something we (the dancers) are going to begin working on immediately. I only have a few weeks left of my summer, and I'd like to have the club be much more profitable by the time I come back in the winter and next summer, y'know?
Still, it's a suuuuper fun place to work, and that's nice. :)

"Now that it's raining more than ever, know that we'll still have each other"

So, last night was good. Went out to Energy, and ran into various people. Big Bill and Chris, finally, so that was terrific! I also saw that friend of mine who was the cause of that traumatic night at school and is the reason 911 is so impressive to me now. He's doing really well, he's all excited because apparently he's going to be a father in eight months.

After that a large group of us headed over to Mirabar. It was fun, but nothing eventful happened to write about, so that's all I have to say on that.

I woke up early this morning to help mom with this yard sale project she's been working and working and working and working on. I helped her sell things. Outside. In the rain and disgusting weather we were having. We did make money...some money. $23. Woo.

So I'm late to work at A&F because of this. I get there, soaking wet, sopping even. Couldn't even see on the drive there, it was raining that hard. Oh, and the thunder lightning started about then too. So I put it another five hours working there, and it was BUSY! And I was on the floor. I hate being on the floor when it's busy. The manager who was on for most of my shift didn't seem to be in the best mood, and neither was I...so that was not good.

So basically, I did retail for ten hours today. But only am getting paid for five.
The good news? We have our June CD. And it is AMAZING. I think it's the best since I started working for the company. It features the typical techno that we all know, but it also has some remixes of Top 40 songs you can hear on the radio so that's great. Also, it's really long, which is so so so nice.

So I came home, exhausted, hungry (as I hadn't eaten since that morning). And spent the rest of the night home, bored, because I was supposed to hang out with Jon and Grace. Grace had to work, and Jon forgot to call me before he headed to Mirabar. He was also supposed to call me on his way back from Mirabar but since they closed an hour ago, I would imagine that's not happening either.
He says his type is usually masculine guys, which I'm not. So there's this paranoid part of me that is wondering if that has anything to do with his forgotten calls, his impossible-to-reach-ness.

*sigh* I'm just tired of setting aside time for people and having everything fall through. I'm tired of being stood up, I'm tired of being used, I'm tired of games...
And I'm tired of being broke. I'm tired of ridiculous gas prices. I'm tired of this building I'm living in (my parents' house). I'm tired of not cuddling (because Ryan reminded me how much I love doing that shortly before that all went to cold-shoulder-land).

Oh, and how about, Joey's being all "I have a lot on my mind" and not talkative all of a sudden. So I think I just went from three choices back to none. I don't get it; I'm young, cute and charming, shouldn't I have my pick?

Bah. I don't want to be here right now, but I don't want to go back to Pennsylvania either. This is lame.

I'm in such a bad mood, I hate when I get like this.

So much going down!

Oh, this post does get a picture because it's Pride month and I can never turn down a good challenge.

Otherwise, this may be the longest, picture-less post I have ever written. However, I guarantee...not a dull moment in the whole thing. Lord knows I haven't had one.

Firstly, I'd like to let you know...I will not be working at XL. The attitude of the boss during my audition (which ended up being Tuesday) was atrocious. I hate trash-talking people on here, but I can't help it at all. The man clearly doesn't realize that without his dancers, he's getting unemployment checks every month. Not only did he treat me in a condescending, almost contemptuous way...I hung out with some of the dancers after the club closed. Okay, basically I gave them rides then went home, but whatev. I was happy to do it. They were talking about their work, of course, and it occurred to me: this is why the crowds are small there. The club delivers sexy dancers, but the best product is sexy dancers who enjoy themselves. I don't want to work at a club that isn't capable of delivering the best. I don't know what I'll do, but it was suggested by Katie that, even though I'd be a terrible waiter, I'd probably do a decent job of being a busboy. I just have to find a place to do it now. It's an insta-cash job and that's what I want.

At some point early in the week, I forget which night, Jon called and invited me over at like 3 in the morning. I went over and we talked and he microwaved some stolen leftovers from one of the restaurants he works at, which were delicious. And the dessert was this chocolate thing, and it was SOOO gooey and delicious.

So, Wednesday I went out with Grace to Mirabar. She met many of my friends, made some news ones (as did I) and was a HUGE hit. Saturday when I went out without her, one of the shot boys (Joey) stopped me and was like "Where's Grace?" and he seemed rather displeased that I was out without her.
Actually, there was a similar reaction when people saw me Thursday night. And tonight. Geez, I can't go anywhere without her...
Afterwards, Grace and I convinced some people to come out to the Denny's Jon works at. I wasn't sure if he was working, but I was crossing my fingers. And my hunch paid off -- he was! While we waited for the others to show up, a bunch of his regulars came in from WalMart and some of them started hassling him.
"What's your type? Me?" one of them asked.
"No," Jon said, not missing a beat, "My type's sitting right over there." And he pointed at me. And I glowed and pretended to be embarrassed. It was sweet.
He also pulled some strings and it ended up that none of the six of us had to pay for anything. Also, very, extremely sweet.

Friday was when the drama was.
It started at work. I was working, and I saw this hot guy come in with another guy. I recognized the hot one, I'd seen him out at Mirabar. I was busy, so I didn't help them. But I did smile at them, like I smile at all the customers.

That night, I went to Mirabar and the first person I see is the other guy. He flicks me off, and I shrug it off because whatever, maybe he's psycho. I check out the club, but there's really nobody there I know so I make for the door to go see if anyone's at Energy.
As I get to the door, a hand grabs my arm and all of a sudden the hot guy is making out with me.

Now, a normal person would probably freak out over this, but it's one of my fantasies to be stopped and given an amazing kiss in that exact way. So I weakened. Plus, did I mention how he's hot?
So when he said they were going to Energy, and I should come, I agreed. The other guy -- Danny -- didn't seem so keen on the idea. In fact, he got pretty frikkin' angry. But the (totally shit-faced) girls they were out with helped me ignore the drama between Ryan (the hottie) and Danny.

That is, up until they made me laugh. At which point Danny snapped, "If he doesn't stop smiling I'm gonna sock him in the face." Which was ridiculous to say, so of course I didn't stop smiling. So he threw three punches. Fortunately, I can take punches and he was drunk so he may as well have thrown some pillows at me.
Ryan pulled the car over and dragged Danny out where they proceeded to argue vehemently about me. Then things got scary -- one of the girls slid into the driver's seat and took off around the block. After we'd circled the block once, and nearly died several times, we convinced her to park and I took over in the driver's seat while we waited for Danny and Ryan to finish arguing.

They did and Danny insisted that he be taken to his car. So we set off, leaving me absolutely confused because, oh yeah, my car was in Providence and Danny's was in Warwick. Not the same place. Not even nearly.

So I spent the night hanging out with Ryan and his girls, and ended up crashing there and cuddling with Ryan. When I woke up my shirt was missing. Uh.......okay?
Anywho, despite all of his protestations that he was looking for a boyfriend (which I am too, though I was hesitant to say it because I know that can be used as a line and frequently is), he wouldn't give me his phone number. He said he'd give it to me when I was working later that day, and although he did stop in. Briefly. Very briefly.

There's more to this story that I'm not going to go into, but let's just say I'm keeping my fingers crossed but I'm prepared for the worst with this guy.
'Sides, there's Jon, who's sweet and has caused way less trouble. He's just difficult to hang out with, which is extra hard for someone who's an attention whore like me.

Meanwhile, yesterday, Joey and I had a fight which ended up sorting out our issues so now he's back on the "choices" list although I have a sincere feeling that we're going to end up being just friends.

Tonight I was going to stay in, but Justin urged me to go out to Mirabar (it's theirs and Energy's karaoke night, which also means no cover). So I went out (much to mom's chagrin). I walked into Mirabar and saw Justin and as I walked towards him ran into Ryan and the girls from before, all of whom were thrilled to see me. Ryan said he'd found my shirt.
So I split the night between Justin and his friend Preston, Ryan and his girls, and the bartender Henry who I think had had too much of his product and was seriously hitting on me. Not unless I get a job out of it, sorry babycakes. :P (SO kidding!)
Justin and Preston decided it would be cool to visit Energy, so we did -- but I dragged a phone number out of Ryan first. The Karaoke was bad. I ran into lots of people there though -- PacSun (who I rarely see but it's always nice to see him), Josh (who I'd been kind of passively trying to avoid), DJ (from XL), Shawn (Josh's ex who he still hangs out with), Ivan and Jaymes (both bartenders at Energy) and....Kenny and John!! I had tried to reach them for forever but never got through and then here they were! So we caught up and I informed John about my birthday celebrations because I would probably cry if they didn't come out with us at least once that weekend. I was so excited to see them, they're amazing. So that made my night enough that I can overlook whatever drama broke out between DJ and Josh.

I sent Ryan a text, just to make sure it is his number because of how, y'know, I have trust issues especially when somebody's so reluctant to give you their number. (And he was pouty because I couldn't spend the night at his place again.)

So I talked to Jon tonight. Twice, which was exciting. And we're making plans to see each other again which is good. Of my various "options" I think he's my favorite, but I know myself and I am going to be miserable dating someone who I never get to see. Hopefully in two weeks he'll have more time (he just put in his two weeks at one of his three jobs).

So it's been an exhilarating and exciting past few days!

"Don't you know that you're toxic!"

I went out to Mirabar on Friday night. Part of the plan was to get a job so I wouldn't have to audition at XL tonight.
But, primarily, I was going on a date with Joey. Who had been seeing this guy, Erik, who works at Mirabar. Joey was paying for me, which was good because I totally wasn't going to be able to afford to get in. Erik wasn't pleased to see him with someone else -- especially since Joey is big into the PDA. We'll get back to that tiny bit of drama later...it did not really turn into anything. That night.
At the end of the night Joey, his friend Jesse, and I all go

Anyways, so I wake up Saturday morning at like 11 to the sound of my phone ringing. It was A&F, so I was a little afraid I'd had a shift I'd forgotten about.
Nope, they wanted me to come in from 5 to 10. I agreed and went in that afternoon. About 15 minutes in, a bunch of dancers from XL came walking back to where I was working to say hi. Sweet gave me a hug, Lee and Antonio and some guy I don't know, stood in the back. I said hi, we chatted and then I said, "Don't make a mess, I'm fixing it up back here."
Antonio grinned (his gorgeous, gorgeous smile...ooooh!), picked up a pile of shorts, and dropped it carelessly onto the table. I glared but I was smiling. Then they walked away, Antonio in the back. He looked back at me and smiled innocently as they left. Then they left the store without saying anything. It was weird.
And can I just say? I have such a thing for Antonio.

Shortly thereafter, my partner in crime at A&F came in to work and we proceeded to raise-the-bar on fabulousness for the rest of the night.

So, I left work at 10 and went straight to Energy. Saw some friends, said hi, found out what night their best night is (Thursdays, when I have class!) Then I went to Mirabar, danced the night away but didn't get tipped.
Oh, and Craig was there. And totally flirting with me although totally sober. I didn't shut him down but I don't think I encouraged it.
Oh, and how about when Joey showed up an hour before it closed? With a boy who he'd met the night before -- during our date -- and although they weren't kissing all the time, the body language read as "date". Now, he'd said to me he only dated "one person at a time", so I'm gonna assume he meant "one person in one night" or something. Either way, I think it's safe to say that's dunzo. It's chill though.
Especially because at 2, when the club was closing, I ran into this boy by the name of Jonathon. Super hot, particularly in the face (which you know I love) and we hit it off really well. We spent the next hour trying to say bye to our friends and getting out of the city (and we got hit on a lot too). Turns out he lives in the next town over from me, maybe a ten minute drive. Which is, of course, a fact I'm thrilled about.

I was not expecting him to call me tonight like he said he would, but he most certainly did.
I was, however, at XL for my audition. The audition did not happen, but I did walk away with mucho dinaro. And flirted with Antonio quite a bit.
I made six bucks before I took any clothes off. At the end of the night, music was playing but no one was on stage so I took off my shirt and leapt up there. It was a preview of my audition, I said. I jumped down from the stage with 25 bucks. I gave Antonio a fiver I'd gotten, because I'd heard he's trying to buy a bed (although, I don't know why, he can use mine :P) and then one of my tippers -- who saw that act of charity/flirtation -- came over and gave me a twenty. That put me up to 40 bucks. And all I took off was my t-shirt, all night!! I can't wait to see how much I can make in my underwear -- let alone naked!

Anyways, I need to be at work at 8 so it's definitely bed time. G'night all!

My Hero!

My dad met President Jimmy Carter once. I believe it was before he was elected, but I could be wrong. Anyways, my dad speaks about him in this respectful, reverent way that he saves for a very select group of people. Among these people are Johnny Depp, who my father (an actor himself, who taught me nearly everything I know about the art) considers the best actor in the world.

Anyways, I think this article confirms for me exactly why he is so respectful of Jimmy Carter. Unfortunately, it will probably change my father's opinion on Carter if he sees it. Oh well.

Let me catch you up on the recent activities in my life, because -- as always -- I have been busy!

Wednesday night I watched Lost with mom. Oh. My. GAH!!! And that's all I'm gonna say about it.
Then I borrowed five bucks and went out to Mirabar. I ran into a lot of people there I hadn't seen in a while. Craig, for instance. Also Ryan, Rob, Dave, Mark. Also, I encountered my new friend Justin. I'm ignoring the potential drama that I believe surrounds him and some other friends of mine, it's all just loose ends and I'm hoping they stay that way for the time being. I'm ignoring it so much in fact, that that is all I'm going to say about it.
I will say that apparently, I met Preston -- who works at Mirabar -- prior to Wednesday. I don't recall this, but he did. Which is cool, he's perfectly nice. And attractive, which means he's permitted to be friends with me even when I'm being totally shallow (which is...what...87% of the time? :P)

Today I went out to buy my book for class. They swiped my credit card. And then a minute later they swiped it again.
My credit card was denied. I don't have 174 dollars left on my credit card. I have sixty.
And my parents own 36 (accessible) dollars, apparently.
And my rent is due next Friday.
I have this feeling I really ought to be panicking right now, but I'm oddly not.

But that was how my whole day went. Everything that should have been simple became complicated. After class (which was actually quite fine), and a quick drive around Providence looking for free parking, I came home and have decided that if I stay in bed everything will be okay. So far, that's holding true except that my window is open and the pollen outside is making me sneeze. I can deal with that though.

Tomorrow, I think I am going to call A&F and try to get as many hours as possible and, possibly, get switched to being full-time. I will also go to Mirabar and try desperately to get a job. I'm starting to think the best thing for me to do is work at both Mira and XL.
Unfortch, that means no partying time...which also means canceling my plans for my birthday and having a third craptastical birthday in a row. I dunno, I'm in a quandary.

"If in heaven you don't excel, you can always party down in hell!"

I know usually I do Cyanide & Happiness on Wednesday, but since I've been bad since Sunday, I'm going to tell you everything that's going on.

Firstly, I'd like to say the musical The Wild Party seems to have the best songs for exhibiting my philosophies about life. You should definitely check it out.

So, anyways, Monday I worked at Abercrombie & Fitch. It was lots of fun -- especially since RGIS was coming in to do inventory. Woot. Woot. So we had to refold everything, absolutely everything, in the store so that the tag stuck out. And we had to keep it all orderly. And, oh yeah, they closed the stockroom several hours before the end of the day so we could no longer restock the floor or help customers find anything that wasn't out. It was kind of a rough day. But I enjoyed it. I do love working for that company.
Also, one of my partners-in-crime, Hannah, showed up to get her job back now that school is over. So, that was exciting. Soon the dynamic duo of Hannaham will be back in action. I just made up that Hannaham name just now.

Now, I don't know if any of you have been in any A&Fs lately but this season's posters are so hot. Lots of "almost kisses", and for people who love to see kisses, like myself, that's very cool. Even if the posters are also (mostly) very hetero.
(The picture above is not a poster from this season. He's got too much clothes on for that.)

I did not go out Monday night because I had the pleasure of opening the store Tuesday morning. I worked all day, but it wasn't too bad. I fixed the damn jean walls, I steamed, I restocked the floor using the USR sheets, I folded clearance (I'm always folding clearance -- if you are ever in an A&F looking at clearance do me a favor and do not carelessly root through the piles and make a mess on the table. That's okay in Hollister, but not in A&F!)

I got off work, went home, ate, napped, then woke up and got ready to go to class (which included wolfing down a too-hot frozen dinner in five minutes). My first night class. Ever. Some of you know that I am taking a class in Italian this summer -- this was it. My first one.
And I was fifteen minutes late thanks to a massive traffic jam caused by a car breaking down in the middle lane of I-95, during the already horrendous rush hour traffic! Of course, I was driving in the middle lane. Total shitshow, I'm telling you.

So, I parked in the Civic Center parking garage. I had, in my panic of being late, forgotten that students are supposed to park in the Convention Center parking garage. They both start with C, I was frazzled, I made a mistake. We'll get back to that little drama later.

Anyways, went to class, it was fine. I wasn't the only one late as I wasn't the only one who took I-95. I am far ahead of the rest of the class, but I am pretending I'm not too far ahead so she doesn't make an example of me too often. We went quickly though. Unfortch, she said we were going to be stopping just before future tense. Which means we'll cover the tenses I pretty much remember and it will all be review, except for the vocab. Mostly though, it'll be an easy four credits and it'll cover my Modern Language requirement for Core Curriculum; and that's what I need.

So, I stopped by Club Energy which is right across the street from the club. I said hi to Jaymes, who works there and who I know. I asked if anyone else I knew was there (namely Ivan) but apparently Ivan gets off work at 9 there on Tuesdays. So I will go to class early from now on, so I can stop in and say hi to Ivan. I will have to figure out where he's partying these days and when too. He always goes to the best parties.

So I continued on my way back to parking garage. And discovered that it was closing. Like, had one door open and it was only an exit. So I hurried to my car, and drove to the exit. And then I realized my mistake. And looked at the prices. And didn't have enough to pay. So I'm panicking, and I explain the situation to the guy at the gate.
And he goes "Give me your ticket." So I did. And he punches something into his computer and then he says, "Have a nice day." And the gate opens and I'm free!

So of course, then I went to Club XL. I tipped one dancer, Antonio, who is the hottest one there (and that means a lot coming from me!). He's cool and we kind of befriended each other, so that was awesome. I mean, we'll get closer.
Especially considering what happened next. I'm discussing with Pot Pie the need for me to get a night job for extra cash, and how I'm uncomfortable with the nudity at XL but how I'm not great with mixing drinks which I would need to do at Mirabar.
So he suggests I work at a shotboy at XL. So at the end of the night, we go to Scott (who owns the place) and he explains that I'd like a job. Scott goes "I have four people looking for the shotboy job, but come in Sunday after 9 o'clock and audition. Wear cute and tight underwear."
So now I'm auditioning to be a dancer at Club XL on Sunday night. And I'm so nervous.

"Your problems don't exist when the music feels like this..."

I want to go back to the weekend.

I spent yesterday on a train, and it was awful. We were prob'ly 45 minutes late getting back to PA because the train would not leave stations for like twenty minutes. Get the people and leave, that's your job!!
Then I had to race around doing shit, and then I had to go buy things for my one act -- but I couldn't find anything I needed, not anywhere!

Then I had my one act rehearsal, not the dress rehearsal thank God -- but because Night A of the festival did have their dress rehearsal, we couldn't rehearse in the space. We spent most of the rehearsal wandering around from place to place looking for a good place to rehearse. We never found on, but my actress practiced hitting my actor over the head with the gun so I guess we accomplished something. It was very, very, very frustrating.

So, I came back to my room, all frustrated and in kind of bad mood. So when Boy-Craig IMed me (or did I IM him? I don't remember...), I was pretty pleased -- because, hey, who better to cheer me up, right? Except, no. Apparently, despite my attempts to be charming, the fact that I was honest and talked about my dancing (not a lot, mind you) made Craig's mother hate me.
Of course, if I'd been less surprised to see Craig's mother, it probably would have dawned on me that Craig's had bad experiences with dating dancers before and obviously, mom would know and would be wary. But I didn't ask if anyone else was at Olive Garden, or who, so it's not my fault.
I screwed up, and I apologized, profusely. But the damage was done, and now Craig is all "I don't know, I don't know" second guessing himself again. His mother said I reminded her of his ex. His ex, of course, was dancing behind his back, cheating on him, sleeping around, and all around deserves to be castrated and then thrown off a helicopter into the Sahara. I'm nothing like his ex, which I explained to him. He said he knew...but if he knows that, then why is he letting his mother's comment bother him so much? I mean, I understand being bothered by the fact that his mother doesn't like me, but being bothered by that comment?
AGH MEN!

Then I woke up today not feeling very good but I got all ready for classes and work. Then I went to class. While I was there, Christine, who I work with at abercrombie, called and told me they were trying to cut hours and that I didn't need to come in. So, yay that. So I came back to my room and passed out until 3:30, pretty much.

I'm still feeling pretty gross but I really need to track down a folding chair.

I just want my weekend back. It was simple, it was spectacular.

"Does that make me craaaaaazy"

Yesterday was insane. All kinds of insane. Fun as hell, but insane none-the-less.

First of all, I started working at Abercrombie Kids at 10 am yesterday. I loved it, I love the people who I was working with, it was terrific!
It did get a little awkward at one point, though. You see, I was out front doing the tagline when Anthony -- yes, that Anthony who I dated very briefly -- walked by, saw me, and came in to chat. All in all, it was fine, but there was a brief moment of "Oh, awkward."

Oh, and I want to give a huge shoutout to Matt who I worked with. Aside from being gorgeous and awesome and oh-so-comfortable with himself (I love guys who are straight but don't care)...his manager told him, while I was there, to go to an audition today...for a movie which will star Matt Damon. HOLLA!

Anyways, so then I went and go-go danced. It took them a while to catch on that the crazy kid in his underwear actually was working there, but they figured it out. I made FORTY bucks. There was very little touching except for when they tipped, which was good. A few skeeves in the crowd, nothing I couldn't handle. Although, I am thinking there should be a chart -- how much you need to be tipping to stick the dollar in certain places. You know, one dollar for a hip, five dollars for down the front....ten dollars or more for down the back...

I have to jet. Gotta by a new pair of underwear for work tonight!

(I don't know if there were any pictures...if there were, I'll add some later!)

"Sure, every day the Earth rotates backwards and the skies turn orange."

So, wow. WOW. WOW. For a week that started off so unbelievably badly, things went really well afterwards. Really well.

Tuesday night, a new local club had its first 18+ club. Never one to miss an opportunity, I went not just for the fun of being with friends...I wanted a job. I had heard they were hiring dancers and I've been getting more and more desperate for money. The key detail of a rather eventful was that I did, in fact, get the job. And flirted with a really pretty gorgeous guy (who flirted back). He turns out to be 32, which is out of my usual dating age range...but depending on how the next couple weeks go, I may make an exception. He's remarkably immature for being so much older than me. :-P
By which, I mean, he acts the same age I act. At least, he does when he's drunk.

Now, Wednesday passed by relatively uneventfully. And by that I mean, things happened but I honestly don't remember much of it. I suppose that's not a good sign, although no news is good news, or so I'm told by my mother.

Today was the big one. Tuesday night, I had run into my friend Zach who had wanted me to work at Abercrombie Kids with him when my initial job hunt was going so poorly. He had informed me that he had become a manager, and wanted to hire me. So I went to Park City today, walked into Abercrombie, met up with Zach, and went next door to fill out another application.
I'm starting tomorrow. I couldn't be more excited. I finally have a real job. And a dancing job!

But as if my life didn't get better, there was the weather. It was horrible today. Driving to and from Park City I literally knew where the road was by watching tail lights, because I couldn't see the road due to all of the torrents of rain.
The DJ on the radio said we had "severe thunderstorm warnings, flash flood warnings, and tornado warnings." I jokingly added "and Armageddon warnings."

The joke got less funny when the sky turned orange. I'm still not sure what that was, but the fact is it looked awesome and the world didn't end so I'm feeling pretty lucky about that. I wish I had gotten a picture, but alas, I did not.

Later, when I returned to my dorm from all the rest of my day, my various classes and meetings in the evening, I discovered I had an instant message from Boy-Craig.
"You win."
Now, I don't want to jinx anything, so I won't explain it. I'm not happy, because he's hurting and I wouldn't wish that on him no matter what he did to me. But I'm hopeful, very hopeful.

That sort of reminds me, I did want to ask everyone's opinion on something -- a question that always is rattling around in my head due to being raised on romance novels where people just seem to know they're in love...how does one really tell?
I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I think I'm in love with Craig. I guess it's a possibility. Other people have said I am, though that means nothing. I'm mostly just curious as to everyone's opinions on these things.