What a rip off!!

That's right.
You came here expecting to see a hot guy and have me pontificate about him.
And I'm not delivering, even though I am posting.

I swear, this is a one time deal, but I wanted to pontificate about something else. Gorgeous, some would say, but not why I'm talking about them: Hollywood "It" Girls.

I really just want to discuss this theory I have.
See, I was thinking about all of the fag hags, fairy princesses, fairy queens, fairy godmother, queer dears, fag honeys, homo bros, fruit flies, fairy collectors, whatever you want to call them, that I've met. And it occurred to me, the Hollywood "It" Girls sort of have a similar personality.

DISCLAIMER: The following is loaded with stereotypes and generalizations. Don't hate me, I'm just a young and impressionable teenager. For nine more days.

Now, before Jenny and Grace and Sue start getting all offended...don't.
What I mean is the usual personality is this: they're are able to equal and sometimes surpass their gays in fabulosity and in bitchiness. Usually incredibly outgoing and ridiculously social. They can be extremely attention-seeking, much like the stereotypical gay man but they love the attention from gay men. Part of the reason for this, I think, is because gays can be so critical. Y'know...
"How's my hair?" "Honey, it's....no."
Or, if it's a nicer gay...
"How's my hair?" "It's not bad. Let's go fix it."
Or a less-nice gay...
"How's my hair?" "It's great...if you're a rat looking for a place to live."

Now, take a look at the Hollywood "It" Girls. Fabulous? Yes, if a bit trashy sometimes (but we'll get to that). Bitchy? Hell yes. Outgoing? Incredibly so. Ridiculously social? Check. Attention seekers? Bingo.
They have many of the same personality traits -- so why are they so much worse than any of my amazing fruit flies?
No gays.
When was the last time we heard about Paris Hilton going to a gay bar or hanging out with her gay best friend (GBF)? Never! I swear, she does not have a GBF! (Travesty, right?)

With no way of getting that critical kind of attention from her main gays, she (and others like her) are forced to get it in other ways. By making trashy mistakes -- showing your firecrotch in public, for instance. Making bad decisions -- even DUI. The media gives them their criticisms. The fans give them their criticisms. And as much as they say the negative attention hurts their feelings -- and it probably does -- the fact is they keep making mistakes. Why? Because they need that attention, and they need it to keep coming. If they are well-behaved, it goes away.

So, the key to classing up this younger generation of Hollywood socialites is to get them some GBFs who can tell them their hair sucks and their clothes are too tight or they need to wear underwear with that skirt, and who can take them out to gay bars and help them to do the fairy princess activities that these "It" Girls clearly need to do.

I claim Lindsay Lohan as soon as she's out of rehab again.