"Do you understand a case like this can break you?"

The Next Best Thing is, in many ways, a seriously wise movie. (The title there is a line from it.)

I'm gonna start with the drama so you can get the amaaaaaaazing news to end the post.
The Michael stuff wasn't over Thursday night. I'm mean, it's all okay now, it's been dealt with and everyone is fine, but if I'm going to keep ya'll up to date you should know it happened.
So, Friday, Tyler and I talked about it more. I got him to agree to just be friends with Michael -- at least for now, until I move on more than I have. I also talked to Michael and he said he understood where I was coming from.

Saturday night we had the show, it was fantastic. Instead of going to the cast party, I went to American Eagle for work. We were there straight through til 6:00 am Sunday. We tried to go to the diner...we were too tired to chew, so we left after 20 minutes and I got home at 7:00 am and crashed.
I woke up at 3:00 am, logged onto Facebook and found at the very top of my newsfeed a comment from my friend Juli (who goes to school with me) to Michael. It said something along the lines of "It was great meeting you last night. I'm so glad you came up! I hope you can visit again soon."
Yes, Michael was on my campus and although there was no way I could have seen him, nobody told me. I flipped out. I called people to find out exactly what had happened, and then I called Tyler to bitch him out because from my perspective Michael had come up to see him in a boyfriendly kind of way. Keeping in mind that Michael had never suggested coming up to see me, so I was also seriously jealous as well. It was starting to seem like he really didn't want to be even friends with me -- and I said that to Michael as well.
Anyways, Ty, bless his soul, was able to calm me down. He told me they were just friends and he agreed that, in honor of them just being friends, that if Michael visited again or if he went to visit Michael they would let me know even if I wasn't invited or something. I mean, on a campus this small I'm going to find out anyways so why try to go behind my back, right?

As a side note, I've previously told Michael on more than one occassion that if I screw up he should tell me how I did so I can fix it or at least not repeat the same mistake with the next guy. (Which is wh I've told him more than once that I was playing it by ear off of him, and he should tell me where I stood (not in those exact words) so I'm going to continue trying to be his friend until he flat out tells me he doesn't want to. Though he's not doing a great job of reciprocating (he only talks to me via Myspace and/or if he knows I'm upset and it involves him, or that's how it seems) right now, I don't think he's against the idea of a friendship between us.
The point being, nobody ever really tells me why they suddenly stop being into me and this is a cycle that is no longer acceptable so I'm going to talk to other guys who've seemed interested and then suddenly or inexplicably moved on and find out why. If I'm as undateable as I seem to be, I gotta find out and fix it. That's my goal this week.

Anyways, absolutely everything's been talked about and we're fine and we shouldn't be having that drama any more! Yay!

So, because she met a guy when we went out to eat, Katie and I arranged a game night (it's a complex story, and it's hers, so I won't share it...unless she tells me tonight she wants me to, it's kind of cool so I hope she does :P). Amanda and Ty came over and we played Scene It: Disney. Then we watched The Next Best Thing.
It was all well and good, although it was mildly depressing because it made me remember that she and then there was a scene that mirrored a conversation I'd had with Michael and I was suddenly less fine. Not like I was upset, and certainly not at anyone in particular, it was just...I don't know, you guys understand right?
The conversation in the movie is as such:
Doctor: "I like you a lot."
Robert: "I like you too."
Doctor: "But this will never work." It continues on with Robert being indecisive.
The conversation with Michael, as I remember it, was as such:
Me: "I like you a lot."
Michael: "I like you too."
Me: "It's too bad it won't work, I live to far away."
Michael: "It might."
Hate to say I called it, but....that was me, calling it.

Anyways, so I poured myself a cup of rum with a splash of Coke and got unwisely drunk (fortunately, nobody gave in to my urge to go commit delinquent behavior). As I drank said drink, Tyler talked to me about texts he and Michael were sending back and forth -- which I definitely appreciated. Definitely a step in the right direction. Even if it made me kind of wonder what happened to way back when Michael and I used to talk about the things that bothered him. Which then made me feel obsessive and pathetic, so I quickly pushed those thoughts to the side and contemplated what noises aluminum bats would make against those vandal proof mailboxes. Like I said, I was really urging for delinquent behavior. It wasn't good, but the others kept me from acting on those urges without much difficulty.

The amaaaaaaaaaaaaaazing news is, however, that I think I'm getting two roomies (one of whom is the fabulous Aubree of A&F fame :P) next year and we're getting a three bedroom apartment and the ones we're thinking of looking at are gorgeous and (hopefully) affordable! So, all in all, things are definitely looking up!

Gimme a bottle of bourbon and half a chicken and I'll conquer the world!"

Happy St. Patrick's Day ya'll!!

I come to thee this day bearing joyfous news!!
Wait, no, that's Christmas.

Anyways, the word on the streets is GOOD. And when I say the streets, I really just mean my campus.
You see, yesterday we had this pageant. It's sort of a goofy, funny, fun male beauty pageant that we do every year. And my friend Jake who lives across the hall (and, between you and me, is one of the straight guys who I'm almost in love with) won!!! HE WON!! And not just by a little, he was absolutely the best!

So, needless to say, there was much much partying and drunken debauchery last night. It was much much much fun. :) And, ps, I really don't like beer but I drank it anyways.

"You've got so much to do and only so many hours in a day..."

So my weekend, which was crazy as per usual, began early. It began on Thursday night, and what an adventure it was!

You see, Brendan, Cody, Jason, and Josh were planning on visiting Club Apex in Washington D.C. I had not planned on going with, because of Friday's road trip back to Rhode Island.
But I ended up having a very frustrating day on Thursday and I decided that, since every plan I'd set out for that day had been screwed up and twisted in a way that was not fun...I was going to screw up one of my plans in a fun way. And I was going to be spontaneous.

So, 7:30 Thursday night, not a thing packed for the return to RI, I jumped into Cody's red convertible (not as hot as it sounds, trust me. :P) and we left for York. We picked up Josh, and flew down the roads to Maryland to meet up with Brendan. We piled into Brendan's sleek and silver BMW series five (which is plenty hotter than it sounds) and headed down to D.C. where we going to meet up with Jason -- and Chris, who dances with me on weekends!
We went to Soho, which was right near the club, and got food and coffee. I myself got a White Chocolate Raspberry Cheesecake which is pretty much heavenly/orgasmic. Not even kidding, try it some time.
So, then we went to Club Apex. I made some new friends -- three. Two of whom I look forward to seeing next time we go down to Apex. Cody also took a video on his camera...if you look closely, you can see me occassionally when the light is right. I was dancing right in front of him, a little to the right, though sometimes I'm definitely dead center in front of the camera. Thankfully, Cody is taller than me so you can still see stuff. :P
(The picture is of Josh and I.)

Now, I really can't tell you what the point of taking videos inside a club is because you can't see anything...but hey, since it's there, I figured I might as well post it! :P

We got back from D.C. at six in the morning. I set my alarm for 10:30, packed in an hour (I'm discovering now I didn't bring enough clothes that I like to wear out...oh well. I'll do a lot of laundry. :P), slept til 11:30, threw my stuff in the car, got Meghan, said my good-byes....
And then by 12:30 we were off. I drove for a while, we switched when we got to New Jersey. She drove til Connecticutt, and then I drove the rest of the way. We got to my house at around 7:30 that night. Pretty good, since it's an 8 hour train ride and we'd had to brave rush hour near New Haven.

So, I powernapped -- exhausted, and then I was off. I'd gotten a spontaneous invite (well, okay, he sent out a myspace bulletin asking if anyone wanted to go with him) to a party his friends were having. So, I went and met Scott in Providence.
...and I drank more than I should have.
And I think I annoyed Scott. Which, well, I guess he doesn't like me drunk. Oh well, it's not like it happens with any frequency.
But...I made some new friends!

I left there at about 5, got home at 5:30, and slept. Then I woke up and proceeded to get ready for a Christmas party my friends Big Bill, Little Bill, and Chris were hosting. Even though I ended up two hours late (thanks to my mom :P), it was a great time. And, following the theme for the weekend, I made new friends! Most importantly though, I caught up with old ones. And then I stayed to help clean up, and then I went and found out that no matter whether or not where I parked was legal...I didn't get a ticket. :P

Today was interesting because an old friend of my parents came by. You see, my brother and my existence hinged entirely on this person's behavior when he was sixteen. My parents spent a year raising him in his mother's stead.
Apparently, he's also gay and has been with his partner for 14 years. How impressive and inspiring is that? It does happen! :D

"If you didn't know then now you know!"

I am posting this now, mid-studying, because I have been waiting all day to get the pictures from this weekend but I think everyone else slept today. Must be nice. :-P

Anyhow, I am definitely going to put a number of the pictures up when I do get them (probably tomorrow night). It has been quite the weekend though, definitely.

First I had a very typical Friday. I worked at abercrombie from 8 am to 1 pm, and went back to campus. I was busy with random end-of-the-semester things, and hanging out with friends who I never get to see these days, and utterly forgot about the nap I was supposed to get before I went to work at the club.

This guy was there, James, who I had met (and given my number to) the weekend before. Let's backtrack a second and take a look at why in the hell I'd give out my number to someone I met while I was working: I was up on stage, it was getting towards the end of the night and this giant of a man -- total stud, but still, ginormously tall and built! Oh God is he built! -- and he politely goes "Can I dance with you?" in this totally gentlemanly way and of course I'm like "Yes!"
So then we danced together...and even though I was just in my underwear, he didn't let his hands wander to anywhere that the skeezy old guys let their hands wander. And he was just...he was just this huge gentleman, and it was great.

So he was at the club with a friend of his (Brad) on Friday too, and I danced with them at the end of the night. And then, yesterday, James and I went to Park City together. Then we went to dinner together.

Last night I had a couple options for what to do before going to the club. One was to go to this dance recital that our school's dance club puts on, and a lot of my friends were in it. The other was to go to the birthday party for my new friend Jenny, who I really only officially met (although we knew of each other for long before we met) a week or so ago. So I went to the birthday party, and I brought James along as my date.

We hung out in the hotel until we all had to vaminose (I don't know if that's a real word but it sounds like a foreign word for "go" so...I use it :-P) to the club. We got there, Mike and I got into our undies, and then we got up on stage while the rest of the party headed up to their V.I.P. balcony lounge (where Mike and I went for all our breaks).
A good time was had by all, much clothing was removed from various party-goers...and for some reason, the masses of unintelligent club-goers tipped some of the party-goers who weren't working -- even though they had pants on. As I said about four times "It's not hard. The people wearing pants aren't employees and should not be tipped. The people who aren't wearing pants should be tipped." Still, I think I made pretty good money.

We returned to the hotel around 2:30/3:00 am and we partied for a few more hours. I won't lie, I got a little bit drunk....fortunately, James was there to hold my attention so I wasn't too slutty -- that's always a risk when there's me and alcohol. He really is a gentleman and he cuddled with me all night, which kept me busy enough to not go into the whatever-was-going-on-in-the-other-room...they had the door shut.

Morning came and it was just James, Josh, Jenny, Neil, Scotty, Sean, and myself left. We cleaned up as best as we could (pretty good if I do say so myself!) and hit the road. I brought Scotty to the train station -- he needed to take the train to Exton, so he could meet a friend, then go to Philly to catch a flight back to Oregon. Yeah, I know, long way for a party but it was called "East Meets West" for a reason -- he and Jenny have birthdays near each other so it was a dual party, and apparently they had the Portland chapter of it last weekend.

Anywho...then I came to Etown and finally got to talk to Boy-Craig. We hadn't talked at all this week, I'd been busy and he'd been...well, busy. He's still indecisive, up-down-all-around...and honestly, I'm getting very tired of it. We'll hang out over winter break and whatever happens will happen but I expect that will be the end of it.
(I know you're rejoicing over that one, Johnna. Sometimes I get a kick in the butt from my own common sense. :-P)

And then the truly bad news hit home.
The head of our theater department here, who is sort of a father figure to many of us, myself included, recently had brain surgery on a benign tumor. Unfortunately, when they opened up his skull...they discovered things are a lot worse than they thought. It's my arch-nemesis back and attacking someone else close to me: cancer.
He's a stubborn guy, tough as nails, and he's going to kick it's ass, I'm sure. There's some people that nothing can touch...Muse, Jackie, for instance. I think that Sevy (as we call him) is one of those people.
But then again, I thought that about my grandfather and Jessee (or read about her here). Still, both of them put up a good, an amazing fight and I know that Sevy will at least manage to make us proud. He still has a sense of humor -- actually, it may have even improved from when he was healthy :-P -- and he's still going to be around for us. He's turning himself into a family man, not a professor, but the theater department is one of his kids and he's going to make sure we're taken care of too.
I think we're all a little in shock. We all thought everything was fine since the surgery, we'd thought it was just the benign tumor. This was just kind of slammed on us tonight.

Credit to Jenny for the pictures! More pictures of our amazing weekend can be found on her website!

"Sometimes sanity takes vacation time on me..."

I'm not a drinker. That's not to say I don't drink, I just don't drink frequently. Part of the reason for that, of course, is that I am perfectly capable of not having any inhibitions at all when I'm sober, so what's the point in having alcohol loosen me up?

Last night, for instance, was the first time I consumed alcohol two nights in a row. Last night, however, I had only two shots and I was just a little buzzed. Y'know, where you feel it, but you're still entirely in control?
But I was at the Green House. No, they weren't smoking pot. Pot smoke makes my stomach hurt, so I wouldn't have been there if they were. You can't not drink at the Green House.

Anyways, the point of this story is that the guys on my floor are incredibly chill. Normally my being gay doesn't come up at all. But when they're drunk? You bet it does -- they grab me and tell everyone who'll listen that I'm their favorite gay guy. Gonna have to party with these guys more -- the ego boost is incredible. :-P

(I didn't drink anything from the keg, I don't drink beer. Hence only having two shots...) (That's also not a picture from the party, there are no pictures from the party.)