So, while I'm logged into Blogger I thought I'd leave a short little update...I went from being extremely busy to overdrive-stressed-out today.

You see, I'd scheduled myself very nicely, getting everything done with time to spare.
Except for one teensy problem.
The audition in Philly that I have on Wednesday is, aside from being an awesome step for my career, also my final for Acting class. I thought it'd be a short part-of-a-day in Philly and I would have the morning and that night to do work.
We're leaving at 10 am, and we probably won't be back until 6:30 pm. If we're lucky.
AND Katie and I have to sign the lease for our apartment at 9 that morning.
Which gives me, if I'm lucky, four hours of prime work-doing time on Wednesday. I'm so screwed...

So, back to the old grind. God I want to gradaute. Two more years, just two more years...

"We are dreamers. We are daring."

Okay! Let's talk about this audition thing!
My ride bailed on me. I was pissed. I haven't been that pissed in a long time. Fortunately, Ryan and Jake -- two of the amazing straight guys who live on my floor who I would be perfectly content marrying -- came to my rescue and gave me a ride there so I just managed to get there for 4:30, which is when I had been told (when I called the day before) that the audition was. It turns out I was there an hour and a half early -- but that worked to my advantage.

(That's my headshot, right there. My brother, who aims to be a photographer, took it. My brother is an amazing photographer, but more of scenes and scenery than of people. Not that this is a bad headshot at all, but he's capable of National Geographic level photography, and I'm not exaggerating.)

One of the women who worked there, a black woman who had a look that was vaguely reminscent of Oprah, came into the room and showed me how to do the runway walk I was going to be asked to do. I did it nearly flawlessly. I even walked in a straight line.
I picked out a script, a 30-second bit of commercial (it was an anti-drug commercial) and I memorized it. Line memorization has always been one of my strong suits, but it's really not difficult to memorize a 30-second bit. It's like four lines.
I spent much of the time talking to the woman's daughter, who is amazing, and her own daughter who is just a little baby but SO cute and who just found rhythm, she can't stop dancing. It's adorable.
I also talked to some of the people who were coming in when it got closer to time. Two girls that were sitting by me, and their parents (it was an all-age open call!) and this guy sitting next to me.
A guy was going around making sure he introduced himself to every auditioneer. His name was Jeff, and while I initially didn't know what he was doing there, it became clear very quickly.

They had brought in three professionals to watch our auditions, to take notes on us, and to ultimately make the decisions for who got the prize: to be invited to convention of talent and talent agencies taking place in Atlanta, GA this may. Jeff Rose, Vince Paul, Horace Bass (I can't find any links for Horace, but he models basically all of the socks you find in Target). When I say professional, I mean...these are people who are where I want to be. They make plenty of money in the business, most people have seen them in at least a commercial, but they're not in the tabloids every day. Maybe a little more fame than they have would be nice.

So, after all the younger kids went, I got in the front of the line for the 18-and-up auditioners. They started my runway music, I got up on the stage and I did everything right, except that I veered to left!! So, though I was mentally beating on myself for that one, I introduced myself in a loud clear voice and went on to say my bit. I didn't forget any lines, although I had the paper folded and in my pocket just in case. I said it clearly, I put in all the poses, emphasis, head movements, and facial expressions I had planned out. And then I sat down.
"That was great, it seemed so natural!" the girl behind me whispered. That was a great compliment, because I was feeling pretty stiff.

The best part was at the end. Always one to network, I went to tell the three professionals how nice it was to meet them. Vince and Jeff were still at their table. "It was great to meet you!" I said to both of them, and then I was accosted with complements -- not something I was expecting from such professionals.
"Are you with the Harman Agency?" Jeff asked me.
"No," I replied, a little shocked, "Uhm, not yet. I mean, maybe soon." Me with the speaking-English-good skillz. Woot.

Then I went back on the runway and talked to Horace a bit. Well, let me rephrase that. I tried to talk to Horace, but it was difficult to get a word in. "You were excellent! Very good!" He kept going. That was a little stunning. "I was very impressed!"
"Oh, thank you so much. It was nice meeting you!"
"You too. Don't quit!"
"Oh, I can't. It's in me. I tried to quit once, it doesn't work."
He laughed. A lot. And then we said good-bye.

And then I didn't get a call. They didn't pick me, but that's alright. Ultimately, that saves me money. The experience was great -- the best audition I have ever done, I swear -- and more to the point I networked. I went up there, played ball with the pros, and I escaped not only unscathed but with an even more inflated ego. How's that for coming out way on top?
Now they know who I am, and if I have anything to say about it (especially when Iget my car back), they won't be forgetting any time soon. There are so many opportunities before me right now....and I'm throwing open all the doors and windows and letting them all go!

Which is funny, cause that's what my horoscope on Yahoo says is going to happen, and it says that though not everything will work out, I have nothing to worry about.
I hate it when horoscopes are so eerily accurate, freaks me out. :-P

"I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad..."

It's kind of funny how what can go from being a mediocre day can come crashing around you to just leave you disappointed.

I was planning on spending tonight hanging out with Don and Bob. We've really only hung out once, but they proved to be great friends. Amazing friends. That was, after all, the night of the car accident.

But, Bob's class ran late. Didn't get out til 11, and because they are responsible adults they figured it was too late to call me and see if I still wanted to hang out, so they went home and went to bed wicked early for them.
....now hold up. I'm 19 and in college and I don't have class til 12:30. While, yes, it's responsible adult logic, I'm not a responsible adult yet. Hence why I'm up at 3:00 am the night before an audition. (Dumb much? Mmhmm!)

But anyways, I was so looking forward to hanging out with them and even though my day was over, now when I look back at it, it's all shaded by how the main thing I wanted to do today didn't happen and it just looks crappy. I didn't do an audition that I really wanted to do. I put it off instead, like some kind of procrastinator. I left my car in the hands of a mechanic I absolutely do not trust. I am not pleased with the work I did for my one class.
Today looked so good four hours ago. And I haven't done anything but call them since then. Blah, I hate being an angsty teenager.

On the bright side...new episodes of Lost tomorrow! And, hey, I will audition tomorrow. I don't know how it will go (now that I'm not all jazzed like I was last night, it's not seeming like it'll be brilliant....nor do I know how I'm getting back from it.)

"All are tales of human failing..."

So, I'm doing the audition tomorrow, because it is two days. I feel I can be better prepared tomorrow, although as it turns out it is primarily a modeling audition. I don't think I will get job, but I will get to meet two casting directors and that is my primary objective right now. Networking, people, networking!

Today I brought my car into the repair shop for a "tear down". I still feel as though this guy is trying to rip me off somehow, and I've talked to the insurance guy about it and basically what I got was "I want to close this file as quickly as possible." I am petrified they will decide the car is totalled, and I don't know what I will do then.
It was not comforting to see a parking lot full of partial cars. And I do mean partial -- most of the cars were really more like 2/3 of a car, some more like half.

I've talked to my mom several times today. She tried to assuage my fears over the car, but it didn't really work. She doesn't know what I'll do without one, but she said I should try to talk to the insurance guy about fixing it even if it's totalled. Obviously that will work cause he's listened to all my other suggestions so much. *eye roll*
Awkwardly enough, we discussed modeling at which point I had a realization. Mom knows I'm doing some kind of modeling, and I suspect it's my dancing (or at least my dancing over the summer) that she's aware of. See, we had a conversation much like this:
Mom: "Well, you do have some modeling experience. I don't know if you should mention it, though."
Me: "Huh?"
Mom: "It might not be the kind of experience they're looking for."
Me: (as the dim bulb brightens) "Oh! No, I expect not."
This is so like my family. My mother is overprotective to an extreme sometimes, but then she's totally relaxed and chill about the most random things. You bet your ass I'd flip a shit if I found out my child was go-go dancing, even if there wasn't anything I could do about it. Oh well, I count that as one of the reasons I love my family so much -- we're absolutely nutters.

I also went out with Katie, one of my absolute best friends. She was my driver from the car place today, and we stopped to do some of her errands along the way. We ended our visit with a conversation that was awkward, but that I think brought us closer together.
Katie: "I really need to pee. I haven't peed since this morning."
Me: "I love a good, morning pee."
Katie: "Me too. But I really hate middle of the night pees."
Me: "I know, right?"
(Beat, as what just happened sinks in)
Katie: "Did that just happen?"
Me: "Yeah. That was kinda weird."
Katie: "Little awkward. I'm glad it wasn't just me."
I don't know how or why it happened, but I figured I had to share it with all of you.

SO exciting!!!1

I have a hugely busy day tomorrow. I was dreading it, but then I heard on the radio something which fills up the rest of the day..........an open casting call audition.

...when I am conveniently going to be in Harrisburg anyways....

...when I am conveniently not engaged by basically anything else that I can't get around...

Does this sound like opportunity knocking to anybody else? This is something I simply couldn't pass up. Even in the (very likely) circumstances that I don't get a role, I may still get an agent and at the very least I will have had a very good learning experience.

"He made my heart stop palpitatin' every time he came hear"

I have had a hell of a month this week.
Really just the past few days.

You see, Wednesday night I went out for dinner. "I'm going to dinner, I'll be back soon!" I cheerfully announced.
Then I got lost on the way to Friendly's, where I was meeting Don and Bob. Not just once, oh no, I got lost three times.
When I finally found my way, for real, it was dark and it was snowing. I was distracted. So when the light with the sign next to it that says "Left turn yield on green" turned green, I hit the accelerator...

...and then I hit the van.
I'm fine. The people in the van are fine. The guy driving the van was a dickhead, but I think he was like that before the accident.
I got out to see if he and all his passengers were okay. They were. He got out to insinuate that I had intentionally slammed my car into him (at 3 mph...) . Then he asked if I was on drugs. How you leap to that without asking if the person has been drinking first is beyond me, but that's not the point. I gave him a "Are you shitting me?" look and said no and he told me I was going to be tested anyways. Then he asked if I had a camera on me, and I told him no. He didn't either.

So he called the police, and I, in tears, called Don and Bob. I was only a block away from them so I figured they could help me. I had realized that I could not deal with this man -- the true definition of "crotchety old pain in the ass" -- on my own. Honestly, I don't think there is a better candidate for drug testing...skip the rats, just try everything on him. He could at least maybe help out mankind that way, cause I'm sure he hasn't done anything beneficial to the planet in decades.
Seriously, he was acting like the accident looked like the picture there, instead of a minor dent in his van's side door and a smashed headlight (and corner) on my car. It was all very, very minor, not at all the fifty car pile-up he thought it was.

Anyways, it probably didn't help his attitude that after he opened his mouth the first time all of the witnesses who had stopped immediately flocked over to my car to make sure I was okay, and to assure me that it was just a car and everything would be okay. You know, those things the witnesses always say because they're feeling awkward enough without somebody bursting into tears in front of them? Yeap.

Anyways, the cop also got sick of the old fogey, and was really nice to me.
Unfortunately, after Don and Bob took me to dinner...they no longer had time to take me back to school and I couldn't drive in the snow and the dark without my headlight. So we went to Don's apartment and picked up some art supplies he needed and then made the trek to Bob's house. I spent the night there.
The next day (after I e-mailed my professor and told him I wouldn't be in class) we all went off to Philly so Don could meet his client. Then we headed back to Bob's house. The plan was to get me to my car that night, but we were running late and it got dark and snowed, again.
Except this time the roads froze. We holed up in Bob's house for the night.

Don said the sweetest thing to Bob on the way to Philly, and I want to share it with all of you: "I can't imagine why I wasn't writing your name on my notebooks with hearts in middle school."
Say it with me now: Awwww!

This morning we got my car, I drove back to campus, and made it to my anthropology class for the first time all semester. I forgot to get a syllabus but oh well. In fact, I went to all my classes, called the insurance company, and did a whole bunch of stuff.
And then I got to my room, thought for a second, and realized I am absolutely shit-faced, can't-stand-up-straight exhausted. So I didn't go to work tonight. Which is bad because I'm taking tomorrow off too.

Unfortunately, I msised the Pretty Person of the Week, my audition that I'd decided to go to (thanks to Sue's advice!), and two meetings I had on Thursday. It was all taken care of so it was fine, but it was a little disappointing.

Meanwhile, I was reminded of this thing that I'd done before by Pete Ross...so I did it again.


Cilian Murphy? Nick Lachey? Yeah I'm okay with this. Really okay.

To Improv or Not to Improv

I have a dilemma. And who better to turn to than my loyal readers, all of whom (to my knowledge) are both older and wiser than I am? Yeah, I came up with a whole list but oh well. :-P

I am not doing any of the theater departments projects this semester.
While I should be filling the spare time I have looking for ways to make money -- scholarships, jobs that aren't too time consuming, etc -- I haven't been. Mostly I've been doing favor after favor after favor for friends and being a bum in my room. I'm just completely unmotivated, and I think that my distinct lack of theater (or possibly my distinct lack of hours at abercrombie) is the reason my motivation has up and disappeared.

There's an audition on Thursday for our campuses comedy improv group. I'm friends with everyone in the group, and they are all encouraging me to audition. I want to, but they are only receiving two new members and I am really not that good at being funny when I improv. At least, I don't think so.
There's also the fact that it brings me into the theater department. In some sense, that's good because this semester the theater department will be going through a lot of changes and I will need to stay on top of those changes. This will be an easy way to do so.
Unfortunately, it also brings me into the theater department, which will probably get a lot worse before it gets better. And by that I mean, it's going to fall to pieces. I don't think I want to watch that from inside. More to the point: it will mean I might have to deal with our hellish tech professor, something I've been successfully avoiding.

Also, because I will be behind the other members as far as knowing the improv games, it will absorb pretty much all of my free time. No time for scholarship-hunting, no time for job-hunting, at least at first.
But maybe it will motivate me again?
See, it's a dilemma. Should I audition, or not?

In other news, I did do something almost productive this week as far as my financial situation goes.
I created an account at ModelMayhem and have already been messaged by one photographer, and added by a few others. I could do some modeling on the side of school, no problem! Right?

"Might need you to say it's alright..."

So I have been having a little bit of stress. A teensy weensy bit anyways. Tomorrow morning I have a presentation I'm totally under prepared for, call backs for my show were tonight (I wound up with a phenomenal cast, but not the one I wanted thanks to our dear old professor Mike...)

I came up to my room tonight beyond dead. I was practically a brain-eating zombie. And then I check my e-mail and I found the most amazing things ever.

Now, Pete Ross was having a not-good day the other day so I dropped him an ecard, like I do sometimes. I mean it takes two seconds, makes somebody smile, so whatever. But he sends me two e-mails with a grand total of FOUR collages to make my night. How amazing? I know it's not Thursday but I'm gonna have to give him a big ol' Pretty Person of the Week, again, because he's just that incredible.He said he'd been embarrassed in the grocery store doing that too. How amazing is it when someone goes out of their way to publicly humiliate themselves just because you took two minutes sending them an ecard?

(Okay, granted, it took more than two minutes but only because I'm technologically-challenged.)

"Forget what we're told, before we get too old..."

And just think, if I owned a camera I could have that very same picture!

That's right, today I was in the gay area of Philadelphia. For about an hour. That's like a fifth of the time we spent getting to and from Philly, but oh well.

Well, let's start from the beginning because it was a busy day. First my alarm went off. I stumbled over to it and hit "snooze". Next thing I know I'm waking up again. So I lie awake for a second and then the alarm goes off again. So I went over and turned it off.

So, later on I head off to breakfast. I get there, I eat, nothing special. On the way to my car, I run into my friend Elyse. We begin to chat, most specifically about our romantic lives. She tells me she's heard that people saw Anthony making out with someone other than me at a party on Friday night. Okay, so I know he did that, he told me so I was cool with it. But at this point, that means there's a rumor going around school that I'm being cheated on. How do I nip that in the bud? Well, easy way is the same easy way to deal with his trust issues -- dump him. But I kinda don't want to.

Anyways, that's neither here nor there.
There was an Eagles game tonight. You know what that means? THREE HOURS FROM LANCASTER TO PHILLY! Justin, Danny, and I were not pleased. But getting there made up for it, that's for sure! The streets were filled with music, laughter, happiness, the occassional lesbian catfight (okay, one, and the bitches nearly landed on me :-P). Full of life and vibrance.

Also there were haters, drag queens, and the occassional person dressed as a zombie or a Pacific Island cannibal...but what can ya do? :-P

So, we zooooooooooomed back to Etown so I could be in time for auditions. You see, I'm directing a one act play in our one act festival. Unfortunately, I was still late. Fortunately, my stage manager Keith was there. He is such a life saver.

Anyways.......a whole lot's gone on since I started this post. And now I have four hours between now and my first class of the week........so I'll relate it all later.

In the meantime, my thoughts and prayers are going out to my Muse, my friend Matt in Massachusetts, and Pete Ross. May your days get brighter.