There's an energy washing chemically over me

This boyfriend thing is taking up a tons of time I could be devoting to blogging, so I want to apologize straight up for my neglect. I'm going to run a quick overview of things since I've been back from my road trip...

Saturday, July 5
I came home and Chris came and picked me up that night. We hung out for a while and then went out to Mirabar where I was hoping to run into my friends Billy and Jamie who were visiting from LA. I saw them, and we hung with them for a bit. Then Chris and I left early because I was really tired.

Sunday, July 6
Chris and I went down to Connecticut for a barbeque at my friend Doug's house. We left that early too, more because somebody who shall remain nameless was being a drunken asshole. Let's not discuss that, shall we?

Monday, July 7 - Friday, July 11
Typical week all around, but fun. Much time spent with boyfriend. Starting to sense a theme, are we? I worked Friday night at Dark Lady, it was really nerve-wracking being the first time I'd worked since the incident in the basement Pride. They were having a blackout underwear party which was lots of fun, except it was difficult to tell who was working and who was just naked -- especially since they had five of us on -- Adam, Jamal, Matt, myself, and new boy Tony.

Saturday, July 12
I took the night off of work because it was my dear friend Grace's birthday, and I D.Ded for her. It was good that I was not drinking, because technically alcohol is bad for me with the Crohn's and all and I really needed to step back from the celebrating my 21-ness to realize how much better I was feeling overall back when I was 20. Also celebrating with us that night was Naseer, another friend from high school; his boyfriend Paul; and yet another person from high school Brendan. (How many Brendan's can I possibly have in my life?)

Sunday, July 13
Grace's actual birthday, Chris and I joined her briefly for continued partying -- this time with Courtney, Kilian, and Tara Jane -- all of whom I fondly remember from high school but basically never see anymore. I know, bad friend. It was really nice to reconnect with all of them though. :)
(And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, a picture of Chris and I! Much anticipated, I'm sure. :P)

Monday, July 14
Chris' vacation week began on Monday, so we went to NYC. I know, NYC on a Monday....it seems peculiar. He told me we were going to have dinner and drinks with his mother. I was nervous to say the least, not to mention a lot surprised at how soon I was meeting his mother (a fact that would soon make me a complete hypocrite.) We stayed at the cutest bed & breakfast, called the 414. It's fairly near Time Square. Very centrally located.
After we checked in, we went to lunch at a cute little restaurant, where cute, enthusiastic people provided excellent service. It's too bad the food *sucked* because I really wanted to like the place. Anyways...while we ate, I proceeded to pick apart Chris about this dinner-with-mother thing, more than I already had that is. Turned out I wasn't meeting his mother -- he'd pulled strings and, in just two days, gotten tickets to see Spring Awakening!!!!!! Even though Jonathan Groff is no longer in the cast, it was just as amazing as I remembered it.

Tuesday, July 15
We came back from NYC and made it back JUST in time for my physical therapy appointment. They started me on heavy-duty strengthening excercises that left my arm exhausted and left me not feeling up to very much, so Chris and I headed back to my parents' house, where I am currently residing on the misguided theory that on a Tuesday afternoon nobody would home -- as this is often true.
Instead, everyone was frikkin' home. My brother, who doesn't even live here anymore, was there. Chris spent the rest of the day with me....and my family. Even when Dad took my brother, me, and Chris out for clam cakes. See how I'm a hypocrite? Cause I sure do. And so does Chris, as he will not let me live that down...

Wednesday, July 16
Chris and I hung out more, it being his week off. That night we brought my brother up to the train station, and then brought Topher to work, and then went out for fun at Mirabar. I met a couple of his friends, which was a nice change. :P
Unfortunately, we got into our first big fight when we left. I'm not going to air the details to everyone, especially since it's basically over and done with. If you really want to know, there are plenty of more private ways to get in touch with me, yes? Yes. And then you can blog about it all Gossip-Girl style -- cause we all know how I'd *love* to be in something tabloid-esque.

Thursday, July 17
Chris and I resolved our issues over Facebook. After watching Burn Notice with mom, I went up to Mirabar, where he was working, and Dark Lady to hang out. I got harrassed by a kid who lost Dark Lady's hot body contest and was not happy about it...I decided to be nice and not explain that he might have lost because of how he wasn't actually that hot. I know, normally I'm really honest but that's the sort of thing I like to sugarcoat, and there was just no way of doing that. He lost to a drag queen for crying out loud. (A hot drag queen, but still.) The other people who lost (some of whom were pretty good looking) weren't bothered by it.

Friday, July 18
I got a haircut. Then I worked at Dark Lady. Typical night, with four of us (Adam couldn't work). Drama happened, it didn't involve me. Chris and I went to breakfast afterwards.

Saturday, July 19
Chris and I had a really lazy Saturday, though we went up to the Natick Collection (that's the mall's real name apparently). Then it was Christmas in July. Which was looottttts of fun. Only Matt and I worked, but Jamal and Tony were there -- it was nice to have the added back-up. Cleaning up took til about 4:30 am though. Needless to say I was exhausted when I got to Chris' house. He hadn't had a good night either, though he'd gotten to see several of his friends from MA. So we slept, or tried to sleep, but with both of us being in bad moods at that point it just didn't work out well. So we were exhausted Sunday...

Sunday, July 20
...So we did a lot of sleeping. Or at least, I did, I don't really know what Chris did since I came home. Stayed home too!

Monday, July 21
Today was solidly productive, kind of. Dell is coming tomorrow to fix everything wrong with my computer. The warranty is done on August 18, and if I don't get it fixed I'm betting I'll need a new one about August 19.
Then, Chris and I met up and I brought him to Dark Lady as my date to the surprise birthday party of one of the owners. It was fun, although we left a bit early. I don't really like going out on Mondays, you know? Is that weird? Anyways...that brings us to now.

Tuesday, July 22
I'm going to try this sleeping thing again. I was trying early, it wasn't working out because I was thinking about how I hadn't blogged in forever. Now that I have, hopefully I'll sleep for a few hours before I have to get up to wait for the Dell guy. Then, I'll get to nap again before physical therapy. I hope.

PS Go back to a few of the recent previous posts, there's been new pictures added to some of them! (One of them includes Chris!)

An Adventure in Alcoholism; Part 1

It's been way too long since I wrote here, and there has been way too much alcohol consumed.

Let's see, Wednesday evening (last Wednesday, that is, not yesterday) Chris and I went to Thayer Street and walked along it, and then ate ice cream. Then we went to retro night at Mirabar, of course. It was fun, cause we really got to show each other off to our friends (and his co-workers). If there's anything I love about dating, it's showing off Chris. He was seriously so adorable about my leaving too. (Although he kept reminding me to "be good", like I was going to forget to not cheat? It was kind of annoying, but he and I talked about it and we're all good.)

Thursday I drove all frikkin' day to get to Maryland and shortly thereafter, Brendan and I left for XS. Where I got very very drunk. Which was fun! I met a lot of cool new people too -- and I even remember a few of them! Kinda.
Almost everyone was there, except a few people who had gone up to Allentown where Jeffy's birthday celebration was going on. It was supposed to be at XS, but there was drama (surprise!) so he had to move it. I didn't know about the drama until far too late to move mine (plus, Allentown is three hours away so....) Anyways, Cody was there (he'd never seen me drunk before...), Jordan, Kenny, Amanda, Anthony (who was celebrating his 18th birthday too), Will, basically, tons and tons of people!

The next day we headed down to Washington D.C to go to Town. It was basically the same crew, and then some. (Including two new people: Mitchel and Larry, who were very cool.) Once we got there, pretty much all of my friends in DC showed up which was incredibly awesome. I mean, there were a few I didn't get to see but oh well. You win some, you lose some. Now, if I had been drunk at XS then I was really and truly wasted at Town -- everyone kept buying me drinks. Like everyone. I didn't like half of them -- too strong -- but I drank them anyways because they were a gift. Anyways, fairly early in the night I decided that, with all of the gorgeous guys around that I couldn't hook up with, I was going to find a boy for Jeff to make out. I focused on one of the go go boys there (one who I, of course, think is breath-taking -- there's a story about the first time I saw him actually but I'll tell it later :P). But eventually I was too drunk to continue trying to get Jeff to make out and I wandered away all Attention Deficit-y. Ooooh, and Cody and I went at it that night! First, I was already irked by the fact that he didn't come to RI for my birthday because he'd spent all his money on drinking. Then he compared me to my evil, evil ex-boyfriend -- the one we don't talk about. Yeah. I slapped him and then continued dancing as if it hadn't happened. Good times.
Anyways, I had SUCH a fun, drunken night. But I was exhausted by the time we left -- even though I had no desire to leave yet. So during the car ride back, I passed out on Larry.

The next day, I helped Brendan clean his house for people that were coming to look at it, interested buyers, y'know. Then he sent me off to the mall where I bought the cutest shirt on sale at Guess. Then I headed down to almost DC to hang out with Simon, we spent a few hours together before heading off to BeBar -- where I'd never been. Honest to God, I'm in love with the place, it was (for almost week, until I was out in NYC that is :P) my favorite bar ever.
After BeBar we went and had an afterparty. We all passed out around 6 in the morning, after a rousing game of Kings. When we finally all woke up, I was driven out to where we'd left my car (it was fine) and I drove Simon home and then headed back to Brendan's.

And that's all you get for now. I'll finish the story of the road trip tomorrow, I promise/swear on my life. Then I'll get you caught up on everything that's happened since.

Sweet temptation wash all over me

I'm not doing so hot on this updating every day thing, am I? I keep getting distracted every time I come online. First, I found this bunch of games where you get to be morally ambiguous characters -- which I adore that sort of thing. They're simple yet fun and addictive RPG sort of things -- I know, I'm being a geek right now, deal with. There's one for pirates, two different Mafia ones (a 1925 game and a 1955 game) and a game set in the future where you get to play a futuristic criminal type, they call them "CyberPunks". This is totally the sort of game where, if you were young and impressionable, you would run out mugging people in real life later. What a terrible influence on society -- and what a great way to get reduce boredom. :)

I also, just ten minutes ago, stumbled across something on my Facebook news feed (god it's a creepy thing, but oh-so-good). Friends of mine joined a fan-group for a blog, so of course I had to check it out. And that's how I discovered Catty, Bitch Queens. It's a fictional, episodic soap opera-type thing following a group of gay friends all (or maybe most? I haven't read all of it) in a theater department at some school in Providence. So, you know I love it -- Providence, plus gays, plus theater, plus other people's drama. And, hey, there's even nightclubs!
I have to say, I love love love the format it's in. Each "episode" is narrated by a different one of the characters. It takes a minute and some reviewing of past episodes to get how interconnected all these characters are, but that sort of pulled me in. I only have two issues with two things in the series: there does not seem to be a fag hag in the bunch -- and that, of course, is a necessity because who else is going to simultaneously keep the gays in line AND create even more, somewhat unnecessary drama by being the supportive fag hag to the whole crew of them? S'all I'm saying. Also, Providence as an anti-gay city? I can only suspend my disbelief so much -- it sounds so much more like York or Harrisburg than Providence of all places. (Though the mugging is about right...)
Still, I've been really enjoying reading it and I will be adding it to my blogroll (over on the right, check 'em out if you haven't already).
(PS, Kiddos! When is there going to be a Grahamblings fan group on Facebook? :P WTF mate?)

Anyways, this week hasn't been the most exciting thing ever, lots of down time for me to look into things like Pirate Quest.....
However, I have made several new friends, including a boyyyyy that I like (and a couple of others who I have totally slutty lustbunnies for. God they make 'em hot in this state. That explains me too, I guess. :P)
I went to karaoke night again this past Tuesday, which was fun. Then Wednesday night I went to retro night at Mirabar, so yay! Thursday I hung out with the boy...who is named Matt, which is going to make tagging him in blog posts super confusing. (Haven't we always frowned upon repeating names -- especially when the name in question appears in my immediate family as well? :P)
We rented two movies -- Mad Money (which I think may have been Katie Holmes' best performance ever) and Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End. (I'm sensing a pirate theme this week. Arr, matey!) Both great movies, I had a really good time...and have, of course, failed to call him since then. I suck at this whole like social skills/liking people thing. I'll call him tonight....or tomorrow.

Friday night I went to work at Dark Lady (after my mother guilt tripped me about gas prices, but I can't very well be like "Yes, mom, I know, and I'm going to go be almost naked in front of a bunch of strangers so I don't have to worry about gas, shut the fuck up bitch.") It was my first night back since I was ill for last weekend's military ball. It was great, I had a blast, I got a ton of tips. And I met a gorgeous, gorgeous guy named Darren. From New York, who was too drunk to remember me. But he has my phone number anyways. I was a little distracted because Darren was right in front of me all night, so I probably could have made even more than I did but oh well.

Saturday I headed up to Massachusetts for Jason's -- my friend who bartends at Dark Lady, not the Jason from Pennsylvania -- graduation party. I got there at about 5:30 and fortunately my friend Rich was there, because otherwise I would only have known Jay and that can be awkward. I ate for the first two hours and then I started to socialize. I talked to most everyone there, until I sort of settled down and talked to Tom, who is this seriously, impressively built cop (and a complete smartass) and Keenan I think his name was? It started with a Kee and ended with an "in" sound but sometimes when people said his name it almost sounded like there was no "n" in the middle? I don't know. People talk too fast here. :P Anyways, I stayed sitting around them until about 10:30 when I headed off to work another night at the Dark Lady. It was going really well for tips at first, and then the drag queens went on and did their show. It was Miss Kitty Litter's birthday, you see, so it was a big deal, this show. And they were raising money for AIDS charities so they milked money out of everyone. Which is great, they made a ton. But I didn't. :P

And now, today, I'm here, reading and playing morally corruptive games on the Internet. :P In Plain Sight on USA airs its first episode tonight at 10! I'm so excited!!

Wowza!!

This has been a big week.

Let me explain...rumor has it, Club XL was shut down on Tuesday. I've heard a few things, and I don't want to say anything bad that's unconfirmed at this point so I won't go into details. Suffice to say, I think that sucks.

One of the days this week, I can't remember which, I went to see Hairspray. It was awesome, even though I definitely broke some personal rules seeing it. (I always see the stage version before I see the movie, but I have never seen Hairspray on stage.)

On movie night (Tuesday) we watched Eurotrip, which was surprisingly hysterical, and Mommy Dearest. Yes, we are that gay. :-P

Thursday I went to this private beach that my family belongs to with my mother. Just my mother. I half expected it to be excruciating, but it turned out to be a nice time. We went and got ice cream afterwards (which is our tradition). We went home...and within two hours I was sick with some kind of awful cold or something.

Friday. Oh, Friday. Friday sucked. Firstly, I was sick. So I took a lot of medicine before I went to work. I ate a snack, got ready, ate a frozen dinner and was all set to go get gas and be on time for work with no rush. So mom decided I hadn't had enough to eat. And even though I argued and told her I was fine, she refused to listen. So, the twenty minutes I had planned on using to leisurely get gas were spent waiting for her to fix whatever the hell she wanted me to eat. I wolfed it down, because now I was running late and I still didn't have enough gas to get to work. And, this of course, is on top of my deadly cold and heavy medication (which helped very little). Also, it's rush hour.

So I get to the first gas station, the one that's convenient to go to on the way to work. It is packed. I sat there for ten minutes waiting for someone to get their gas and leave, and no one did. So I went to the next gas station, which is pretty much out-of-the-way. I got my gas and then I go to get out. Of course, there's no break in traffic for me to get out the way that easily puts me back the way I need to go, so I turn right instead. I officially have no time to waste waiting.
So I head down the road looking for a place to turn around. I spot a parking lot, right by an entrance ramp to the highway. I turn in, but -- mainly because I am in no way in a suitable situation to be driving, as I'm sure you understand -- I hit the curb. Although it didn't feel like I hit it that badly, as I turned around I felt a little wobbliness. Then I made it out onto the highway and the car begins to violently shake.
So I pulled over, freaking out. I think, I have to get out of the car, and see what happened. So I go to open the door. And an 18-wheeler blows by me, it would have taken off the door if I had gotten it open already. So I freak out even more and call mom. She tells me I have to get out of the car, on the passenger side. So I do. She and dad take both their cars to come help me. Meanwhile, I call A&F and tell them I'm going to be late -- which is not a newsflash since I'm already ten minutes late for my shift at this point. Then I call AAA, of course.
The one lucky break of the day is that AAA and my parents all showed up at once. The tow guy determined that it looked like I'd broken the steering rod and he would have to tow, so mom took me to work and dad dealt with that.

Unfortunately, this leaves me car-less. I helped close the store for the night and mom picked me up.
I managed to go out Saturday night (I was feeling better) by the Grace of God. And by that I mean, Grace picked me up because she wanted to go to Mirabar. It was awesome, packed, but that just meant that everyone was there. Part of this may have been because of the power outage at Avalon in Boston.
So I crashed at my friend Brian's house that night, as I had been invited to go to the beach with a bunch of them. (A beach I'd never been to before!)

Unfortunately, I'm a lot frazzled still. I neglected to bring, y'know, anything for the trip to the beach or to establish a way of getting home. Brian lent me clothes, and my dad picked me up afterwards.
Brian and I picked up Ty at his house, and then met up with Henry and his friend (who I think is named Greg?) and then we went to the beach. There we awaited the arrival of Joel -- who I hadn't met before.
Somewhere during the day, Mike, Neil, and Eric and a bunch of others showed up and their group sort of melded into ours. Later on, a group of guys -- including two of the most spectacularly gorgeous men I have ever seen in person (who were, of course, a couple, just my luck :-P). One of them, Billy, who I got talking to...I promise you...divine. And, on top of that? Did not seem to have an attitude. What are the chances, right? So it was awesome meeting them.

We left just as they started clearing out the beach because of thunder. I'm proud to say, we had the idea first. Just sayin'. So I get home, and my sunburns are beginning to show up. So mom and my brother decide we're going to go see Live Free or Die Hard. It was awesome, I think it's my second favorite Die Hard movie (the favorite being the first one of course.) Got back home afterwards, watched The Dead Zone and then the repeat of The 4400 on USA.

So at this point, I am finally relaxing in my own bed....and observing the various burned places on my body. My feet. My shins. My arms. My shouders. My back. My abdomen. My face. Fortunately, my lower back and my ass are fine so I can at least sit down.

"Why should I worry? Tell me, why should I care?"

Firstly, I apologize for the uber length of this post!

Okay, before I begin I have an anecdote to share. I slept in this morning, went down for breakfast/lunch/afternoon snack and mom comes in while I'm eating and goes "Hurry, you're going to be late!"
"For what?" I ask.
There's this pause. "I don't know, don't you have something to do today?"
"No..."
"Well, I know I don't. I know your father doesn't. Do you mean nobody's doing anything today?"
This is such a bizarre event that mom is like...I thought she was going to meltdown on me for a minute. And that pretty much sums up my family.

Anyways, this weekend started off special aside from Pride. Our cousins from the Carolinas came for a visit! We haven't seen them since our road trip down to them a few years back -- sophomore year of high school, I think. That's a Monday Memory (when I get back to doing those) for another time. Probably three or four Monday Memories actually.
But anyways, we didn't get see my favorite cousin, Ed, that trip because he's been in the Coast Guard for the past several years (we think it's been seven years, and we realized we hadn't seen him in 10 years). Ed's been my favorite cousin since the incident with the giant turtle, which is also a Monday Memory I'll have to share. Anyways, Ed is one of my heroes, for sure. We watched a video of a rescue he did this weekend that kind of cemented that feeling -- Ed did basically all the work. Here, watch this:
It's not as well-done as the video we saw but it's the same rescue. Ed is the one standing up in the rescue boat, doing *everything*.
So we spent Friday with the cousins, catching up on years that we've missed.

Saturday was Pride RI (or, the much-catchier name for it is Providence Pride, because it alliterates). It was in a new, smaller location which wasn't too much of a problem despite the fact that this was probably the biggest turnout Providence Pride has ever had. The fiascos going on with NYC Pride probably contributed to that.
I hung out with Joey, his ex-boyfriend Felix, and his friend Jesse all day because they were the first people I knew that I ran into. I saw a lot of people I knew though -- some of the Crockett Clan (who I went to high school with), Joey and Matt (two of Mirabar's shotboys), Justin, Preston, Bruno and Kenny (two of the strippers from XL and who were caught on film paying more attention to their adorable puppy than to me :-P), DJ (who I think recently quit from XL), Jason....I don't really know why I'm listing all these people. :-P

Anywho, Grace and Ryan and his friends Sam and Mike met up with us part way through and we kept adjourning to Joey's hotel room (to drink). Mike is pretty much awesome, and Sam is pretty fabulous too. I feel super bad because I have Mike's number so we could hang out next time he was in town, but I seem to have lost it. I'm dumb like that sometimes. Anywho...

So we watched some of the acts that were on the main stage...acts that included Frenchie Davis, Peppermint Gummybear, Colton Ford (who is STILL hot!!), and more! I was looking forward to Sean van der Wilt but, alas, he was cut from the lineup do to timing issues...and I'm sure he wasn't happy about it, because the crowd was amazing!
Colton Ford was pretty good, though at first he had the mic too close to his mouth.

We actually missed the parade because we went to get dinner and it took longer to find a place that didn't have a ridiculous line (hour 45 minute wait??? That was the shortest!) and then to eat, so we missed the parade. That was sad.
Then we went to Mirabar. And we stayed at Mirabar because....and this is said, I was gonna have to pay again in order to get in a second time. So...there was no trip to XL, there was no Roman Heart.
I'm not complaining though. Mirabar was amazing -- of course, the numerous other parties at the other clubs had to be just as good! Some of the headliners from the festival were performing there, including the fabulous Alyson whose performance really was great and you could tell she was having a good time, and Jenna Drey and others, all of whom were great! Jenna Drey is frequently on the CD for A&F so it was exciting but simultaneously nauseating just because I hear the songs so often. :-P
I also saw basically everyone at Mirabar.

Really it was two parties, too. The block party outside and the party inside, and everyone was going in and out but it was crowded! Fun though.
Part way through the night Brendan and Cody called me to discuss things about my upcoming birthday extravaganza, where they were coming up to party with me. There was gay drama, which would continue until the next day and lead to the party's cancellation. That's all I'm gonna say on that one, but it contributed to a funk I found myself in after Pride.
The other things that contributed? There was also drama between Joey and I, which I won't get into too much but it ended in, basically, him making a whole bunch of "if we're gonna work, this is what you need to do" demands -- not like to make up for anything I did because he definitely was the one who'd screwed up, but somehow it turned around to I was the one who needed to change for him. And I'm pretty sure I'm cool with A) that little about-face in who's the screw up, or B) the fact that he wants me to change for him before we've even been on a second date. Cause, apparently I'm not good enough as-is?
Then I ran into Jonathon, who got pretty shitfaced, so I helped him get to his car at the end of the night. On the way, we stopped by Energy, which was still open. And who to my wondering eyes should appear? Kyle and Dom -- who had both moved to Florida and I hadn't seen since January!! So that was exciting.
After that, as we went to my car so I could give Jon and "his driver" a ride to their car, he decided (because he's an honest drunk) to regale me with all the reasons we can't date. Or even try to date. Or in fact, do anything more than what we have been doing, which is hang out like friends and then make out just enough to get us (or at least me) riled up and then leave before anything happens.
So I was in a serious funk. Or a "gunk" as they would say on Kyle XY. ("He's in a gunk." "What's that?" "A guy funk." "So what do they call a girl funk?" "Redundant.")

Monday I went out to get a job at Dark Lady. Except, in my funk, I couldn't bring myself to ask without moral support. So I ended up at Energy...which added to my funk. Two guys I had previously liked were there, neither one into me and one of them there with someone else. Ordinarily this wouldn't bother me at all, but, hey, funk!
So when I was introduced to my friend Josh's friend Neil, who was gorgeous and flirty, well...it helped a lot. So, I'm starting to come out of the funk now.

Tuesday was full of little things: new manager at A&F who seems pretty nice, movie night at Justin's, Jonathon called me again (and again today, I don't think he remembers what he said), and, oh, I think I blew the Italian oral exam out of the water.
That's right, this is my last week of class!!

Oh, and for people wondering what's going on with Club XS these days...my friend Jenny just put up this video of their latest amateur drag contest! Cody tells me my ex-boyfriend has been showing up to participate in them lately. You'd think he'd have gotten the hint: you've been doing drag for years and never gotten better than runner-up....they're trying to tell you something.

NOTE: There will be more pictures, I just have to ask my friends if they mind showing up on my blog is all.

"Now that it's raining more than ever, know that we'll still have each other"

So, last night was good. Went out to Energy, and ran into various people. Big Bill and Chris, finally, so that was terrific! I also saw that friend of mine who was the cause of that traumatic night at school and is the reason 911 is so impressive to me now. He's doing really well, he's all excited because apparently he's going to be a father in eight months.

After that a large group of us headed over to Mirabar. It was fun, but nothing eventful happened to write about, so that's all I have to say on that.

I woke up early this morning to help mom with this yard sale project she's been working and working and working and working on. I helped her sell things. Outside. In the rain and disgusting weather we were having. We did make money...some money. $23. Woo.

So I'm late to work at A&F because of this. I get there, soaking wet, sopping even. Couldn't even see on the drive there, it was raining that hard. Oh, and the thunder lightning started about then too. So I put it another five hours working there, and it was BUSY! And I was on the floor. I hate being on the floor when it's busy. The manager who was on for most of my shift didn't seem to be in the best mood, and neither was I...so that was not good.

So basically, I did retail for ten hours today. But only am getting paid for five.
The good news? We have our June CD. And it is AMAZING. I think it's the best since I started working for the company. It features the typical techno that we all know, but it also has some remixes of Top 40 songs you can hear on the radio so that's great. Also, it's really long, which is so so so nice.

So I came home, exhausted, hungry (as I hadn't eaten since that morning). And spent the rest of the night home, bored, because I was supposed to hang out with Jon and Grace. Grace had to work, and Jon forgot to call me before he headed to Mirabar. He was also supposed to call me on his way back from Mirabar but since they closed an hour ago, I would imagine that's not happening either.
He says his type is usually masculine guys, which I'm not. So there's this paranoid part of me that is wondering if that has anything to do with his forgotten calls, his impossible-to-reach-ness.

*sigh* I'm just tired of setting aside time for people and having everything fall through. I'm tired of being stood up, I'm tired of being used, I'm tired of games...
And I'm tired of being broke. I'm tired of ridiculous gas prices. I'm tired of this building I'm living in (my parents' house). I'm tired of not cuddling (because Ryan reminded me how much I love doing that shortly before that all went to cold-shoulder-land).

Oh, and how about, Joey's being all "I have a lot on my mind" and not talkative all of a sudden. So I think I just went from three choices back to none. I don't get it; I'm young, cute and charming, shouldn't I have my pick?

Bah. I don't want to be here right now, but I don't want to go back to Pennsylvania either. This is lame.

I'm in such a bad mood, I hate when I get like this.

"It's enough to drive you crazy if you let it!"

I do have to make a quick entry.
Last night I went out to Mirabar with Grace, Justin came out with Preston and Cindy (who I'd kind of met last week and I met Preston the last night that Ryan was into me). Ryan was there with his entourage, as usual. I didn't talk to him about his bizarre behavior, which continued all through last night, but I didn't really spend much time with his group either.

Anyways, I decided to call him today and ask. So I did.
"Are you mad at me?" I asked.
"No. Why?" he said.
"Oh. Cause you've been acting all weird the past couple nights."
"Oh, really? Sorry."
"Uhm...okay. Hey, what're you doing tonight?"
"Nothing. I'm not going out."
"You want to hang out then, cause I don't have any plans."
"Sure."
"I have a class, but I'll give you a call afterwards, okay?"
"Yeah, cool."

So after class I call him. He doesn't answer. I called later when I got home so I could be like "Guess it didn't work out for tonight, some other time though?" He didn't answer either time.

Too bad, cause I think he was good for what I want right now. I don't think we would have ended up lasting forever or anything, but it would be fun while it lasted, and I think it probably would have ended pretty amicably.

Anyways, checking out my stats, I want to do some shout outs to my readers who seem to be silent. Firstly, I encourage ya'll to leave a comment even if it's just to say "hi", I like to know who's reading about my opera di soap. :P
So, hi to all of you lurkers! I'm especially intrigued by the visitor from Chile?

"Don't you know that you're toxic!"

I went out to Mirabar on Friday night. Part of the plan was to get a job so I wouldn't have to audition at XL tonight.
But, primarily, I was going on a date with Joey. Who had been seeing this guy, Erik, who works at Mirabar. Joey was paying for me, which was good because I totally wasn't going to be able to afford to get in. Erik wasn't pleased to see him with someone else -- especially since Joey is big into the PDA. We'll get back to that tiny bit of drama later...it did not really turn into anything. That night.
At the end of the night Joey, his friend Jesse, and I all go

Anyways, so I wake up Saturday morning at like 11 to the sound of my phone ringing. It was A&F, so I was a little afraid I'd had a shift I'd forgotten about.
Nope, they wanted me to come in from 5 to 10. I agreed and went in that afternoon. About 15 minutes in, a bunch of dancers from XL came walking back to where I was working to say hi. Sweet gave me a hug, Lee and Antonio and some guy I don't know, stood in the back. I said hi, we chatted and then I said, "Don't make a mess, I'm fixing it up back here."
Antonio grinned (his gorgeous, gorgeous smile...ooooh!), picked up a pile of shorts, and dropped it carelessly onto the table. I glared but I was smiling. Then they walked away, Antonio in the back. He looked back at me and smiled innocently as they left. Then they left the store without saying anything. It was weird.
And can I just say? I have such a thing for Antonio.

Shortly thereafter, my partner in crime at A&F came in to work and we proceeded to raise-the-bar on fabulousness for the rest of the night.

So, I left work at 10 and went straight to Energy. Saw some friends, said hi, found out what night their best night is (Thursdays, when I have class!) Then I went to Mirabar, danced the night away but didn't get tipped.
Oh, and Craig was there. And totally flirting with me although totally sober. I didn't shut him down but I don't think I encouraged it.
Oh, and how about when Joey showed up an hour before it closed? With a boy who he'd met the night before -- during our date -- and although they weren't kissing all the time, the body language read as "date". Now, he'd said to me he only dated "one person at a time", so I'm gonna assume he meant "one person in one night" or something. Either way, I think it's safe to say that's dunzo. It's chill though.
Especially because at 2, when the club was closing, I ran into this boy by the name of Jonathon. Super hot, particularly in the face (which you know I love) and we hit it off really well. We spent the next hour trying to say bye to our friends and getting out of the city (and we got hit on a lot too). Turns out he lives in the next town over from me, maybe a ten minute drive. Which is, of course, a fact I'm thrilled about.

I was not expecting him to call me tonight like he said he would, but he most certainly did.
I was, however, at XL for my audition. The audition did not happen, but I did walk away with mucho dinaro. And flirted with Antonio quite a bit.
I made six bucks before I took any clothes off. At the end of the night, music was playing but no one was on stage so I took off my shirt and leapt up there. It was a preview of my audition, I said. I jumped down from the stage with 25 bucks. I gave Antonio a fiver I'd gotten, because I'd heard he's trying to buy a bed (although, I don't know why, he can use mine :P) and then one of my tippers -- who saw that act of charity/flirtation -- came over and gave me a twenty. That put me up to 40 bucks. And all I took off was my t-shirt, all night!! I can't wait to see how much I can make in my underwear -- let alone naked!

Anyways, I need to be at work at 8 so it's definitely bed time. G'night all!

My Hero!

My dad met President Jimmy Carter once. I believe it was before he was elected, but I could be wrong. Anyways, my dad speaks about him in this respectful, reverent way that he saves for a very select group of people. Among these people are Johnny Depp, who my father (an actor himself, who taught me nearly everything I know about the art) considers the best actor in the world.

Anyways, I think this article confirms for me exactly why he is so respectful of Jimmy Carter. Unfortunately, it will probably change my father's opinion on Carter if he sees it. Oh well.

Let me catch you up on the recent activities in my life, because -- as always -- I have been busy!

Wednesday night I watched Lost with mom. Oh. My. GAH!!! And that's all I'm gonna say about it.
Then I borrowed five bucks and went out to Mirabar. I ran into a lot of people there I hadn't seen in a while. Craig, for instance. Also Ryan, Rob, Dave, Mark. Also, I encountered my new friend Justin. I'm ignoring the potential drama that I believe surrounds him and some other friends of mine, it's all just loose ends and I'm hoping they stay that way for the time being. I'm ignoring it so much in fact, that that is all I'm going to say about it.
I will say that apparently, I met Preston -- who works at Mirabar -- prior to Wednesday. I don't recall this, but he did. Which is cool, he's perfectly nice. And attractive, which means he's permitted to be friends with me even when I'm being totally shallow (which is...what...87% of the time? :P)

Today I went out to buy my book for class. They swiped my credit card. And then a minute later they swiped it again.
My credit card was denied. I don't have 174 dollars left on my credit card. I have sixty.
And my parents own 36 (accessible) dollars, apparently.
And my rent is due next Friday.
I have this feeling I really ought to be panicking right now, but I'm oddly not.

But that was how my whole day went. Everything that should have been simple became complicated. After class (which was actually quite fine), and a quick drive around Providence looking for free parking, I came home and have decided that if I stay in bed everything will be okay. So far, that's holding true except that my window is open and the pollen outside is making me sneeze. I can deal with that though.

Tomorrow, I think I am going to call A&F and try to get as many hours as possible and, possibly, get switched to being full-time. I will also go to Mirabar and try desperately to get a job. I'm starting to think the best thing for me to do is work at both Mira and XL.
Unfortch, that means no partying time...which also means canceling my plans for my birthday and having a third craptastical birthday in a row. I dunno, I'm in a quandary.

"If you sell your soul, at least you've made a sale"

"It's All About the Green" from The Wedding Singer -- the musical -- is quite possibly the cleverest song about greed I have ever heard. I love it. I love that whole musical, actually. But that really has nothing to do with anything, that's just me being extremely attention deficit.

Last night was insane.
First I went out, in the torrential rain, to Club XL. It was PACKED! There was a Countdown to Pride event that I had forgotten about. I didn't stay long, but I said hi to most of my friends there, including some who weren't there last time I was. Pot Pie said there were seventeen dancers working, and at first I thought "Nobody's gonna make any money!" but considering how many people were there, I can imagine that everyone made out like bandits.

So then I headed to Mirabar to meet up with Grace and another friend of mine from high school, Naseer. Also, Ryan, who I've known for a while but never met in person, came. So we were hanging out having fun and the club started to get pretty crowded too. Apparently I like to dance more than them, so I kind of stayed on the dance floor most of the night and they watched so I didn't end up spending as much time with them as I would have liked to.
The Pennsylvanian I thought I recognized was there again, so this time I grabbed a chance to talk to him. Turned out I hadn't lost my mind -- he really is who I thought he was. I ended up hanging out with him and his friend who, as it turned out I'm friends with on Myspace but hadn't met. They were in RI on a spontaneous little vacation but they left this morning.
I also met a guy named Joey. We may or may not have made out. On the dance floor. Whatever. I gave him my number, I got his. We'll see what happens there, but I'm not convinced. There was drama with his friends, and his text messages are...frequent. And occassionally clingy. I sure know how to pick 'em, don't I?
I also ended up making friends with a bartender named Jim, a guy named Justin who I went to a diner with and who is awesome. I also met some guy named Lenny who works there but I couldn't tell you what his job is.

So, I am still trying to decide where my night job this summer is going to be. I'll have something worked out soon, I'm sure.

Oh, and in other news...I have discovered (through going back to ages-old comments) that Hazzard Ahead is free to be a member of. So now I feel silly, but oh well. :P That's why I threw a Johnny Hazzard picture in here. Also I've had a string of posts with no pictures, and I feel boring and sad.

"All you gotta do is bring the house down!"

Right so....firstly, apparently I missed some comments on one of my posts forever ago -- in which someone advised me that subscription to Hazzard Ahead is free. Uhm, whooooaaaa, missed the boat on that one. Anyways, I'm now a subscriber. :)

The real news of today is this, though: Last night I went insane. Or maybe I did.

I went out clubbing with my friend Grace, who I went to high school with. She and I have gone from being attached at the hip, to less-than-secretly hating each other, to being indifferent to each other, to being like normal friends. It's been a ride, but I love the girl. She's a total homo honey. (That's a new word for me, but I love it. I'm using it as an umbrella term for all the different varieties of fag hags *except* a homobro. :P) (PS, I spend too much time on Urban Dictionary.)

Anyways, we went to Mirabar for their retro night. I have been before, but found it too crowded for my tastes. You could barely move. And, perhaps because of the company I was with, it was determined more fun could be have at another club where, y'know, it was possible to walk. Last night that was not the case -- the most fun to be had was definitely at Mirabar. I saw some friends I hadn't seen yet this summer; Josh, Michael, Joey, and a few others. Also, we got hit on. Both of us. Seperately. Her by an old guy that pretends to be gay but is actually straight, so he can pick up girls at gay bars -- so he says. Providence can be a very strange place.

"When the music's all you got..."

It occurs to me, I still haven't documented my weekend from like...two weekends ago...on this blog.

Oh well, guess it's gone for good. :-P When I'm famous, it will be known as "the Lost Weekend" and anyone who can give the tabloids details about it will get paid handsomely...even though it was nothing extraordinary.

Last night I went out for the first time this summer. I decided to visit the strip club I am debating working at this summer: Club XL (or Trixx@XL as its sometimes called). Everyone was so excited to see me. Before I even got in the club, my friend Pat (more affectionately known as Pot Pie) sees me and goes "Nuh uh. No way. Look who it is!" and comes tearing down the handicap ramp (not even slowing down at the corners) and gave me a hug. At which point he said, "I'm getting better at the corners." (And I just discovered this blog of theirs!)

Anyways, so I go in and this drag queen I never saw before starts talking to me. Her name turned out to be Brandy and she was pretty cool for a drag queen.

Then Sweet -- one of the dancers there who I know (he's the dark haired one on the flyer on their opening page if you go to the website) sees me and goes "Oh my God! It's Grahamburger! It's fucking Grahamburger!" and gives me a hug and picks me up and swings me around.

At this point, Pot Pie points out that there's a ton of new dancers. Some of them are attractive. Some of them are not. ONE of them actually dances (and my God he's gorgeous too!! Antonio was his name or stage name).

Anyways, Sweet drags me around the club until we find JR (the blond guy on the front page and the guy in the very first picture on their blog!) and JR gets all excited to see me too, gives me a hug. It was exciting to see that they actually missed me. :)

Next I ran into Taylor, another dancer who I know. Then an old guy started hitting on me. Now, this isn't unusual. He told me I should work there, blah-blah-blah. He starts asking what I look for in a guy. I describe my perfect man -- which is totally not him and since I haven't looked at this guy once, you'd think he'd get that I'm not interested. Not so! This man is persistent and ballsy. He asked if he could take me to see the new Pirates movie when it comes out. You're kidding, right? So I said I was planning to see it with my family. Which is true, but it a nice way of letting him down.

Then DJ, another dancer who I know, came in. So that was exciting. He and I chatted a bit, he's a singer really and apparently that is taking him places -- soon! So he, like many Rhode Islanders I know have lately, is going to Florida. Sad face for me, but exciting news for him!

Anyways, to get away from the old guy, I sat down and started talking to some girls that were there. Trish and Sandy. So. Much. Fun. I can't get over it, I'm like in love with these girls. We were talking and they encouraged to me think about working at either XL or Mirabar as a dancer. Mirabar wouldn't have the nudity thing, which I'm nervous about, but I only know one person who works there so I wouldn't feel quite as...you know, safe. Then again, I didn't know anybody working at XS when I started there...

I had an idea that's very off-the-wall when I woke up this morning though. A freelance group of go-go dancers and strippers? Like, obviously we would have to have regular gigs at clubs like XS, Mirabar, or XL but couldn't we get hired out to other clubs for special events? I don't even know if that's a legitimate idea. But it does have exciting television series written all over it. :-P