Showing posts with label Nightlife. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Nightlife. Show all posts

Monday, April 28, 2008

Like a Polaroid Picture

So I'm putting forth a great deal of effort here as I am thoroughly unmedicated right now. It feels about equivalent to how I imagine it would feel if someone were taking a rusty, dull, serrated saw and attacking my elbow with it.

I'm going to talk to you today about go go dancing. Why? One, because I miss it lately. Like, a lot. Two, because I have lots of hot pictures of other people go go dancing to share with you too, so pay attention. Three, because lots of people have questions about the job, and hopefully this will answer some and if it does leave a comment!! I'm interested in hearing your questions, comments, and thoughts about go go dancing!

Anyways, I do miss go go dancing. I mean, there's a lot of negatives to dancing in a club. For instance, there's the completely unfounded idea that comes along with anyone who works in any aspect of the sex industry -- that you're also a prostitute. I have never had and would never have sex for money (although I am absolutely not passing any judgement on anyone who does, I don't see a problem with it, it just isn't something I would do). I didn't even do private dances -- not even still at the clubs I've worked at.

But somehow, working in that industry you aren't just a visual object for people to look at -- which is really how it ought to be -- you are a sexual object people believe they can touch and feel as they please. That's a distinct negative, especially when your friends begin to get that idea as well. And while they may not realize this (or they may), there are a good number of people in my social circle at the clubs who treat me in that way.
It's that very idea about dancers that makes dating so difficult.At the same time, I made plenty of friends out of customers and coworkers. Of course, some of my friends distanced themselves when I started to dance. I don't know that that wouldn't happen again, especially since I've gotten back to being closer with some of them since I stopped dancing.
But, respectively, I've also become very distanced from a lot of my other friends I used to see on at least a semi-regular basis when I danced at XS. And if I could manage to stay friends with the ones I've reconnected with, and reconnect with those friends I used to see all the time when I danced.

I also really miss those bonds you form with the people that you dance with. Sure, they're not my best friends, and we may not actually be that close but even now...anybody I danced with, I would do anything for. It's not like a familial bond, it's more of a "I've got your back" kind of a bond. And that's the truth. I did then and I do now have the back of any of my coworkers from my go go days, and I don't think they could do anything to change that. I miss that kind of instant and, in my opinion, necessary bond of a sort of trust (probably the closest thing to trust that I feel with any males, cause, man, I have issues) that builds between dancers.

And without my go go dancing, I would not have had the opportunity to meet the occassional porn stars that I have met and I thus would probably not talk to the models, porn stars, and other beautiful people that I'm a fan of -- some of whom, I would go so far as to call Internet friends (when I use the term friend kind of loosely, anyways).

There's also that whole exhibitionist streak in me. I don't have the best body and I never will. I'm not saying that as a complaint, I love a large number of my flaws (the major exception being my ginormous nose, but other people seem to like it), it's just a statement of fact. That doesn't mean that I don't love for people to see it. And I love seeing other people's bodies -- okay, true, not everyone's but still. It's a whole give-and-take, extremely shallow and vain form of exhibitionism but it's exhibitionism all the same.
I know I can show off a little bit when I'm not working, but it's just not the same. Anyone who's been there and enjoyed the job knows exactly what I mean.

Plus, I just love wearing sexy underwear and dancing is such a good excuse for it.
I also love the make up and themed outfits that we occassionally find ourselves in -- a personal favorite being my "iced out" look for New Year's Eve.

Also, when I was go go dancing I never had the financial issues that I've been running into in the past months. I never made tons (although, it was not uncommon , but it was enough to get me by and -- with the help of a minimum wage day job -- keep me living in fair amounts of comfort too. Now...well, now I am flat ass broke and asking my parents and grandmother for money with some regularity.
As degrading as a lot of people think the job is -- and, yes, in some ways it certainly is -- it helped me be independent from my parents and in that sense I had lots more respect for myself than I do right now because I knew I could rely on myself to pull something together.

I mean, I know in this post I'm ignoring all the things I tend to complain about and hate about go go dancing, but isn't there a down side to most everything?

But anyways, I'm definitely planning to continue dancing at the Dark Lady when I get home for the summer. Hopefully when I come back to this area next school year, I'll be able to get a gig at Town or Be:Bar or Grand Central or some mixture of the aforementioned.
I'm also going to begin working out as soon as my elbow's recovery allows me to. I want to improve on myself.
(Go go dancing photos are stolen from the Myspaces of: Ethan Reynolds, Blake Riley and Cody Fallon and depict Ethan Reynolds, Cody Fallon, Blake Riley, and Roman Heart)Got questions? Go ahead and ask them in the comments!!

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

I hate PA!

To start with, I need to give a shout out to my friend Genevieve who has confessed to me -- although there may have been alcohol involved :P -- that she is an addict of my blog. She calls it her "new Pink is the New Blog".

I've been inspired now, actually. Kat, Genevieve...our Pink is the New Blog picture could say "Pink is the New Grahambling"...even though Pink is the New Blog was around first...

I decided, the shitty luck I've been having? It's all because of Pennsylvania. Kick in the ass from God: you don't belong here. Move.

Because I had shitty luck in Pennsylvania all the way until I hit New Jersey on the road trip yesterday.
And I had shitty luck trying to take a rest in Connecticutt too but I don't think that was at all connected to anything. :-P

Anyways, here's what's been going on since my last post....I cast my one act, er "short play". They're great.

Gint is over. It was phenomenal and guess what? My dad snuck down to PA to see it!!

My computer's hard drive died. It got replaced but it's taken me a week since then to get my computer operational again since I'm dumb. I got home, and poof, figured it out. PA clouds my brain, I think.

Because my computer wasn't working though, I am now in danger of failing almost all of my classes and my schedule for next semester is TOTALLY screwed the fuck up.

As far as those issues with the other dancer went....well, nothing's really changed. I'm pretty much ignoring that as a problem. I have enough other issues to deal with than the fact that I make less money than the other dancer. And that certain people who are friends of mine start conversations with me by asking "Where's Will?" or don't talk to me at all because they're so focused on him now....
I know, not his fault. And I'm still being friendly to all of these people. But it doesn't make me happy. Because like, now? Now would be a time when having friends would be nice but even the ones who aren't ditching me don't seem to have time for me. All I need is a good movie-and-ice-cream night, am I asking too much?

I am working on getting hotter still, but the progress is slow going. Partly because I'm exhausted all of the time from this feeling of "What's gonna go wrong next?" because something always does.

Oh? As far as the love life goes? So, I was talking to a few guys (other than James, because as we know, hopeless). And I start going on a few dates (two, to be exact) one of them -- Jeremy. (Too many J names, I know!) He even came to see my show, and awkwardly met my dad despite my best efforts, and things seemed to be going pretty good. I did not, however, allow myself to jinx it by thinking the "b" word ("boyfriend", I mean).
So I must've jinxed it some other way, because he's moved the hell on from me. To a high schooler. Now, I know I'm an age-is-just-a-number sort of guy, but a high schooler over me? I cannot fathom that a high schooler has more to offer. But he says he's "happier now than he's ever been", and who am I to stand in the way of a timeless week-old love? It's not like I can compete with singing "Bubbly" over the phone. Maybe because I haven't made the effort to learn the words because I think that it's a little ridiculous to learn something someone else wrote and use it as a way of conveying my emotions? Sorry if I think it'd be more romantic if that sort of a thing were conveyed in something, I don't know, original?
Anyways, I told him my feelings for him in a way-out-of-left-field spilling of heart and soul (something I have never ever done before in my entire life). And when he found out I'd never done that before he said "Oh" which leads me to my latest conclusion:
I've always been doing the right thing by shutting the hell up.
My friends keep saying that when he realizes that a high schooler, no matter how mature, is incapable of having a serious relationship because of the structure of their life and the changes they're about to go through with starting college and all, he's going to come crawling back to me. Question is -- if my friends are right that he'll come back, am I gonna take him back? I've never been much of one for second chances and I've been right before....

Anyways, to sum it all up: men suck, I'm still chronically single, depressed, and am right that spilling your guts is a totally worthless action. (Unless, apparently, you're spilling your guts through someone else's words.)

Ooooooh, but I have a new keyboard! And it's fun to type on because all the keys are there and none of them stick!

And Katie and I went to DC last weekend (when the whole Jeremy thing went down) and visited our friend Ashley and we went to Apex and it was a phenomenal blast!

Now I'm in RI and I need to hop offline so I can go shower because I'm working at the Dark Lady's Thanksgiving Eve party!!

Oooh, I also forgot about this:

Watch More Videos Uploaded by bebo.com/acrowleyorder

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

Tuesday, February 20, 2007

The Green-Eyed Monster

I am jealous.

My friend Johnna, my best friend in the universe, has embraced her inner fag hag. It's not that she's got other gay friends she's doing this with that bothers me. No, that's cool. I'm even glad.

She went to a gay club though.
I tried to get her to go clubbing with me and she never bit. And the way her other main gay tells it, she brought him. As in, it was her idea!! What gives?! What is Memphis doing to my girl?

Yes, Johnna, embrace your inner fag hag. Yes, Johnna, go to the gay clubs. But do not lose your gay club virginity when I am not there!! Come on! That's my natural habitat! You didn't even go for my first time dancing (which, sad face), but you'll go in Memphis?!

So, yeah, I'm a lil bit jealous.
To those of you in Memphis, if you should see the girl in these pictures at any gay activity or club....accost her! Kidnap her, put her in a large box with holes punched in it, and mail her to Pennsylvania!

I mean, seriously. Getting kidnapped is at least what she deserves, right?
And plus, I miss her. :(