There's an energy washing chemically over me

This boyfriend thing is taking up a tons of time I could be devoting to blogging, so I want to apologize straight up for my neglect. I'm going to run a quick overview of things since I've been back from my road trip...

Saturday, July 5
I came home and Chris came and picked me up that night. We hung out for a while and then went out to Mirabar where I was hoping to run into my friends Billy and Jamie who were visiting from LA. I saw them, and we hung with them for a bit. Then Chris and I left early because I was really tired.

Sunday, July 6
Chris and I went down to Connecticut for a barbeque at my friend Doug's house. We left that early too, more because somebody who shall remain nameless was being a drunken asshole. Let's not discuss that, shall we?

Monday, July 7 - Friday, July 11
Typical week all around, but fun. Much time spent with boyfriend. Starting to sense a theme, are we? I worked Friday night at Dark Lady, it was really nerve-wracking being the first time I'd worked since the incident in the basement Pride. They were having a blackout underwear party which was lots of fun, except it was difficult to tell who was working and who was just naked -- especially since they had five of us on -- Adam, Jamal, Matt, myself, and new boy Tony.

Saturday, July 12
I took the night off of work because it was my dear friend Grace's birthday, and I D.Ded for her. It was good that I was not drinking, because technically alcohol is bad for me with the Crohn's and all and I really needed to step back from the celebrating my 21-ness to realize how much better I was feeling overall back when I was 20. Also celebrating with us that night was Naseer, another friend from high school; his boyfriend Paul; and yet another person from high school Brendan. (How many Brendan's can I possibly have in my life?)

Sunday, July 13
Grace's actual birthday, Chris and I joined her briefly for continued partying -- this time with Courtney, Kilian, and Tara Jane -- all of whom I fondly remember from high school but basically never see anymore. I know, bad friend. It was really nice to reconnect with all of them though. :)
(And there you have it, ladies and gentlemen, a picture of Chris and I! Much anticipated, I'm sure. :P)

Monday, July 14
Chris' vacation week began on Monday, so we went to NYC. I know, NYC on a Monday....it seems peculiar. He told me we were going to have dinner and drinks with his mother. I was nervous to say the least, not to mention a lot surprised at how soon I was meeting his mother (a fact that would soon make me a complete hypocrite.) We stayed at the cutest bed & breakfast, called the 414. It's fairly near Time Square. Very centrally located.
After we checked in, we went to lunch at a cute little restaurant, where cute, enthusiastic people provided excellent service. It's too bad the food *sucked* because I really wanted to like the place. Anyways...while we ate, I proceeded to pick apart Chris about this dinner-with-mother thing, more than I already had that is. Turned out I wasn't meeting his mother -- he'd pulled strings and, in just two days, gotten tickets to see Spring Awakening!!!!!! Even though Jonathan Groff is no longer in the cast, it was just as amazing as I remembered it.

Tuesday, July 15
We came back from NYC and made it back JUST in time for my physical therapy appointment. They started me on heavy-duty strengthening excercises that left my arm exhausted and left me not feeling up to very much, so Chris and I headed back to my parents' house, where I am currently residing on the misguided theory that on a Tuesday afternoon nobody would home -- as this is often true.
Instead, everyone was frikkin' home. My brother, who doesn't even live here anymore, was there. Chris spent the rest of the day with me....and my family. Even when Dad took my brother, me, and Chris out for clam cakes. See how I'm a hypocrite? Cause I sure do. And so does Chris, as he will not let me live that down...

Wednesday, July 16
Chris and I hung out more, it being his week off. That night we brought my brother up to the train station, and then brought Topher to work, and then went out for fun at Mirabar. I met a couple of his friends, which was a nice change. :P
Unfortunately, we got into our first big fight when we left. I'm not going to air the details to everyone, especially since it's basically over and done with. If you really want to know, there are plenty of more private ways to get in touch with me, yes? Yes. And then you can blog about it all Gossip-Girl style -- cause we all know how I'd *love* to be in something tabloid-esque.

Thursday, July 17
Chris and I resolved our issues over Facebook. After watching Burn Notice with mom, I went up to Mirabar, where he was working, and Dark Lady to hang out. I got harrassed by a kid who lost Dark Lady's hot body contest and was not happy about it...I decided to be nice and not explain that he might have lost because of how he wasn't actually that hot. I know, normally I'm really honest but that's the sort of thing I like to sugarcoat, and there was just no way of doing that. He lost to a drag queen for crying out loud. (A hot drag queen, but still.) The other people who lost (some of whom were pretty good looking) weren't bothered by it.

Friday, July 18
I got a haircut. Then I worked at Dark Lady. Typical night, with four of us (Adam couldn't work). Drama happened, it didn't involve me. Chris and I went to breakfast afterwards.

Saturday, July 19
Chris and I had a really lazy Saturday, though we went up to the Natick Collection (that's the mall's real name apparently). Then it was Christmas in July. Which was looottttts of fun. Only Matt and I worked, but Jamal and Tony were there -- it was nice to have the added back-up. Cleaning up took til about 4:30 am though. Needless to say I was exhausted when I got to Chris' house. He hadn't had a good night either, though he'd gotten to see several of his friends from MA. So we slept, or tried to sleep, but with both of us being in bad moods at that point it just didn't work out well. So we were exhausted Sunday...

Sunday, July 20
...So we did a lot of sleeping. Or at least, I did, I don't really know what Chris did since I came home. Stayed home too!

Monday, July 21
Today was solidly productive, kind of. Dell is coming tomorrow to fix everything wrong with my computer. The warranty is done on August 18, and if I don't get it fixed I'm betting I'll need a new one about August 19.
Then, Chris and I met up and I brought him to Dark Lady as my date to the surprise birthday party of one of the owners. It was fun, although we left a bit early. I don't really like going out on Mondays, you know? Is that weird? Anyways...that brings us to now.

Tuesday, July 22
I'm going to try this sleeping thing again. I was trying early, it wasn't working out because I was thinking about how I hadn't blogged in forever. Now that I have, hopefully I'll sleep for a few hours before I have to get up to wait for the Dell guy. Then, I'll get to nap again before physical therapy. I hope.

PS Go back to a few of the recent previous posts, there's been new pictures added to some of them! (One of them includes Chris!)

"And if our good fortune never comes, here's to whatever comes"

I'm going to be honest with you all.
I have no idea where I've been all week. I mean, not literally. Literally, I know. But time has flown by, it almost seems like it's been somebody else and I've been fast-forwarding the tapes, occasionally slowing down for a minute or two so as not to miss something while I'm eating.

I've filled out so many job applications, my eyes started to hurt. And I handed them in. I improved my resume. I deleted my resume and made a better resume. I handed out resumes. And now, I wait. Most of those didn't get out til Thursday so I'm not expecting anyone to call until Tuesday -- if at all. I don't know how many of you have noticed: the economy sucks.

I got this brace for my elbow, to help me be able to straighten it. I'm not sure how to describe it except for a white and red piece of plastic torture. With velcro. And for at least two half hours every day (not consecutive) I bend my arm into a right angle (which is not like, hard or anything but it has to be pretty exact) attach this grotesque invention to my arm, turn the little knob/dial/thing-gummy and it straightens my arm until it starts to ache. And then I whimper quietly to myself while I wait for it to stop aching (usually about five minutes), and then I twist the knob again and straighten my arm more until it aches some more. And this goes on for, like a said, a half an hour. Twice a day. Tomorrow I get to start doing it three times a day, and I for one am overjoyed, as you can imagine. Fortunately, I still have one free hand which allows me to do....well, very little that's worth doing. :P

Other than that, there's been the usual clubbing going on. Like every night. Also, my dad had a birthday. He's impossible to shop for, so I made mom get my present like I always do. I picked out a card though, I'm a good kid. Anyways, this weekend I worked Friday and Saturday once again, the money was decent and no -- we didn't take any pictures this weekend, sorry Lewis and anonymous Facebook friend who IMed me to tell me how much you liked last weeks picture. :P Today I went to a cookout in Connecticutt with a bunch of friends from the clubs. It was a fabulously wonderful time, I met a few new people and had quite a great time.

And now I'm home watching In Plain Sight. I need to stop updating only on Sundays or this show is going to become like the patron TV show of Grahamblings. :P

This week, I'm going to hopefully interview for some jobs, hand out more applications, go to physical therapy again, go shopping for fairy wings for the Dark Lady's pride party, go clubbing and partying, work at Dark Lady....and who knows what else? I guess we'll see and I will let you all know.
Hopefully this week, even if things are still fast-forwarding, I'll feel more like I'm inside, not watching. :P

How Do I Taste?

So, in my family there is always something (at least one thing) that we will tease a person about until they die. Actually, a person doesn't need to be a member of the family even, but it helps. Today, little Brady got his first one: he slept through my Uncle Tony's 80th birthday. (Granted, he is only 9 days old...) (And he is SOOOOO CUTE!!!)

Other people in the family have their own little things they get teased about. For instance, my father will never live down the cheese-filled sausages. And I? I will never live down a few things (one of which happened the other day and we will not discuss). I will never live down my first frozen pizza.

Much like in the sausage story, mom was not home for dinner. For whatever reason, Dad and my brother were out for the afternoon and were coming home late. They called home, where I was alone. I was roughly eight years old at the time, but responsible enough not to burn the house down so I was sometimes left alone.

As per usual, I let the answering machine get the call and heard who it was before I answered.

"Hi Gray," Dad said (there's that name again.)
"Hi Dad, where are ya?" I asked in my cheerful eight-year-old voice.

Dad answered, "We're on our way home but we're running late. Can you stick the pizza in the oven? Just follow the directions and use the oven mitts."

I followed the directions, I used the oven mitts and the Digiorno (not delivery!) cheese-stuffed crust pizza was going to ready by the time Dad and my brother came home. I was excited that I had done it on my own.

I should have known that nothing with cheese inside it is ever going to end well when it's just the three of us. Except for when it's Mozz Sticks...mmm...

Anyways, to continue on...
Dad and my brother came home a little before the oven timer went off to announce the pizza was done. Dad took it out of the oven, got our pizza slicer out of the drawer and went at it.
"God, this is a tough crust," Dad groaned, pushing down way harder than usual on the pizza cutter.

My brother decided to take a turn at cutting. We all took turns. We sliced the pizza, except no one could get through the bottom crust. My brother decided to try to tear his piece of, because the pizza was clearly done.

There was a silence as his hand slid under his piece of pizza. "Gray, did you remember to take the cardboard of the bottom?"

"What?" I asked.

"There's cardboard on the bottom of a frozen pizza. Did you take it off?"

There was about a minute of silence as I realized what was going on. "It wasn't in the directions...." I just followed the directions. Whoops.

My Hero!

My dad met President Jimmy Carter once. I believe it was before he was elected, but I could be wrong. Anyways, my dad speaks about him in this respectful, reverent way that he saves for a very select group of people. Among these people are Johnny Depp, who my father (an actor himself, who taught me nearly everything I know about the art) considers the best actor in the world.

Anyways, I think this article confirms for me exactly why he is so respectful of Jimmy Carter. Unfortunately, it will probably change my father's opinion on Carter if he sees it. Oh well.

Let me catch you up on the recent activities in my life, because -- as always -- I have been busy!

Wednesday night I watched Lost with mom. Oh. My. GAH!!! And that's all I'm gonna say about it.
Then I borrowed five bucks and went out to Mirabar. I ran into a lot of people there I hadn't seen in a while. Craig, for instance. Also Ryan, Rob, Dave, Mark. Also, I encountered my new friend Justin. I'm ignoring the potential drama that I believe surrounds him and some other friends of mine, it's all just loose ends and I'm hoping they stay that way for the time being. I'm ignoring it so much in fact, that that is all I'm going to say about it.
I will say that apparently, I met Preston -- who works at Mirabar -- prior to Wednesday. I don't recall this, but he did. Which is cool, he's perfectly nice. And attractive, which means he's permitted to be friends with me even when I'm being totally shallow (which is...what...87% of the time? :P)

Today I went out to buy my book for class. They swiped my credit card. And then a minute later they swiped it again.
My credit card was denied. I don't have 174 dollars left on my credit card. I have sixty.
And my parents own 36 (accessible) dollars, apparently.
And my rent is due next Friday.
I have this feeling I really ought to be panicking right now, but I'm oddly not.

But that was how my whole day went. Everything that should have been simple became complicated. After class (which was actually quite fine), and a quick drive around Providence looking for free parking, I came home and have decided that if I stay in bed everything will be okay. So far, that's holding true except that my window is open and the pollen outside is making me sneeze. I can deal with that though.

Tomorrow, I think I am going to call A&F and try to get as many hours as possible and, possibly, get switched to being full-time. I will also go to Mirabar and try desperately to get a job. I'm starting to think the best thing for me to do is work at both Mira and XL.
Unfortch, that means no partying time...which also means canceling my plans for my birthday and having a third craptastical birthday in a row. I dunno, I'm in a quandary.

Monday Memories: Closets are for Clothes

In honor of my friend Johnna's friend, the Mad Brown Samosa, who just came out and is having kind of a rough time of it...I'm going to share my coming out story. Those of you who are 'mos and are out are welcome and even encouraged to share your coming out stories in the comments. Those of you who are not are welcome and encouraged to comment as well, because comments make me happy.

I had been "questioning" (GLBTQ) for a few months, and I had started dating my first boyfriend. My parents knew none of this, since I was starting college. I decided I had to come out to them, for my boyfriend's sake.
I went home for Thanksgiving break, determined that I would do it in person. I went home with resolve. I knew I couldn't do it at Thanksgiving dinner -- how melodramatic! So I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

And stayed up the last night of that break to write a very nice letter about how appreciative I was of college. I threw in "And I've discovered that I'm attracted to men!" in there, and then continued going on and on about how much I love college. I left it on a table as I ran out the door to get the train station. Totally chickened out of that one.

I am on the train from Philly to school, when my cell phone rings. I look at the Caller ID.

"Home" it says ominously. I swallowed hard and answered.

"Hello?" I said in my best innocent voice.

"Hi Gray!" Mom said -- Gray is my family's nickname for me, no one else uses it nor is anyone else allowed to. I won't answer, I promise you. "I got your note!"

"Oh," I said.

"And I showed it to your dad."

"Oh."

"And your grandmother."

"Oh, what did she say?"

"Well, none of us were surprised."

Thanks, ma. Nobody coulda clued me in??? I am always the last to know these things, right?

So we started to discuss everyone's reactions. "I'm okay," she said, "But I'm sad because it's so much harder for people who aren't straight to lead happy lives."
Way to slap me in the face, Ma.

"Your dad said he was okay with it, but...."

It's at this point that I remember something: Dad may be an actor but he's also a Republican. We don't discuss politics in my family for this exact reason, and that lack of discussion is what made me forget!

"...but, he says he doesn't agree with it, politically."

I kind of exploded. On the one hand, Dad had correctly figured out that this hadn't changed anything -- I still didn't want to have kids and I still wanted to get married. On the other hand, Dad had also realized his political party didn't support me -- and he was choosing them. "But it's not a political issue when your son is--" I stopped. I was on a train and I seriously didn't want to get lynched.

Mom interrupted me though, so it was okay. "And I showed your letter your grandmother."

"And...?"

"Oh, she wasn't surprised."

I have this image of my grandmother reading it and going "Yeah, and...?" This is the woman who saw my "An awkward meaning beats a boring night" shirt and giggling and nodding. Nothing phases her, I'm not even kidding. So I reply, "Good. Okay."

"Your father and I started talking about the gay people that we know," Mom continues. She starts to describe how she and my dad were, basically, arguing over who knew more gay people and whether or not the gay people they knew were happy. My parents frequently disagree but I have never really seen them argue, so this really got me spooked.

All in all though, my coming out was a pretty decent experience. I'm one of the lucky ones.

Monday Memory!

So, I decided to eff the whole inspiration thing. I'll post inspirational images when I feel like it -- which is very rarely on a Monday. :-P

Instead, we're going to take a trip down memory lane every Monday.

Today I have a funny memory that I was thinking about yesterday. It's a story that will never die in my family. It's the story of my father the cheese filled sausages.

My mother is, basically, handicapped. She is allergic to bottom-feeding shellfish (like clams, so why she lives in Rhode Island is beyond me), wheat, and corn. That means she can eat basically...well, nothing. Nothing normal anyways.
Occassionally her work as an author takes her abroad. This was much more common when I was younger (which, if you think about it, is kind of backwards, but whatever). Every time she left for a business trip it meant the boys could eat anything and everything we wanted (something else that is no longer true). We bought it all. Hamburger Helper, pies, junk food, total crap.

One time during one of our "Mom's away so the boys will play", my father stumbled upon cheese-filled sausages. Now, logically, we thought, those should be good. You have sausages at breakfast, and cheese can also be a breakfast food. So, neither my brother or I opposed dad's decision to buy these sausages. Of course, I was like six and Matt is only five years older than me so it's not like he'd have listened anyways.
The next morning, dad excitedly cooked our breakfast of cheese-filled sausages. Matt and I sat at the table and waited. We were eager, although we won't admit it if you ask us face-to-face now. Dad brought over a steaming platter of delicious looking sausages and we all got our first serving. Then we took our first bites....

...and lined up at the kitchen sink to spit them out. To this day, the cheese-filled sausages are the most revolting items I have ever placed in my mouth. I promise you, the time I ate wax (another story, not worth telling :-P) was more enjoyable.
But, McDonald's breakfast sandwich never tasted so good as they did that morning.

My roommate snores. This is not a big deal. He certainly doesn't snore as loud as my father has done my whole life, and while I never slept in the same room as my snoring father...sometimes I may as well have. And then there's the times when my father would fall asleep on the couch or in some chair.

The other thing about my father's sleep? He could not be woken up. The only method I ever found to wake him up was to say something about one of the cats really loudly while standing next to him. Who wakes up to the name of their pet? Really now?

Ah, another tale of my family's quirkiness. You know you love it. :-P