"You have no idea what you do to me, or what I'll do to you."

I really really need to write in this more. It's sort of fallen by the wayside while I deal with all my stresses as of late. Let me recap what's been going on:

Bio -- I'm failing. Woo! I'm working on it though, and since we're no longer going over chemical stuff I think I can recover.

Comm -- makes me want to cry. Why is this my minor again?

Theater -- this is just my senior project. It's going. Not as well as I'd hoped, but it is definitely progressing. Slowly. I almost have a cast!

Finances -- I'm drowning terribly. The job hunt is not going well, I think I'm going to have to go back to Abercrombie -- but I can't make the interviews because I have class then. Agh! Time to see if one of my former managers can pull some strings.
Oh! Did I mention our bills and things? This "real life" shit blows. I never saw the appeal of staying in college and living on campus for forever before, but I'm starting to get it. A little too late, I might add.

In other news, Chris and I went to Out at Night at Six Flags: Great Adventure in New Jersey. It was SOOOOOOOOOOOOO much fun. Ridiculous amounts. We met up with some of my friends from NYC and had a great time. Chris actually got me to go on Batman -- of course, my eyes were shut for almost all of it. Beside the point, I still went on it.

I went home this past weekend to celebrate my mom's birthday. I think I really needed to be not in PA too. I was way more relaxed, even though I don't have my own room anymore. I stayed with Chris though so it worked out pretty well. :)

The drive back to PA though! OMG! First we missed the Tappan Zee Bridge because a bus was in the way, so there we are skirting around Manhattan to get to the New Jersey Turnpike (ew! Even Jersey fans have to admit, not the prettiest part of the state!) Of course while we're on the turnpike....the worst weather I have ever driven in sprung up around us from nowhere. We thought it was that hurricane, but apparently the hurricane was in Maine? I'm sorry, if that wasn't a hurricane, it should have been called one.

Today we had a group presentation in bio and I think it went well! So, that's a step in the right direction....

I hate PA!

To start with, I need to give a shout out to my friend Genevieve who has confessed to me -- although there may have been alcohol involved :P -- that she is an addict of my blog. She calls it her "new Pink is the New Blog".

I've been inspired now, actually. Kat, Genevieve...our Pink is the New Blog picture could say "Pink is the New Grahambling"...even though Pink is the New Blog was around first...

I decided, the shitty luck I've been having? It's all because of Pennsylvania. Kick in the ass from God: you don't belong here. Move.

Because I had shitty luck in Pennsylvania all the way until I hit New Jersey on the road trip yesterday.
And I had shitty luck trying to take a rest in Connecticutt too but I don't think that was at all connected to anything. :-P

Anyways, here's what's been going on since my last post....I cast my one act, er "short play". They're great.

Gint is over. It was phenomenal and guess what? My dad snuck down to PA to see it!!

My computer's hard drive died. It got replaced but it's taken me a week since then to get my computer operational again since I'm dumb. I got home, and poof, figured it out. PA clouds my brain, I think.

Because my computer wasn't working though, I am now in danger of failing almost all of my classes and my schedule for next semester is TOTALLY screwed the fuck up.

As far as those issues with the other dancer went....well, nothing's really changed. I'm pretty much ignoring that as a problem. I have enough other issues to deal with than the fact that I make less money than the other dancer. And that certain people who are friends of mine start conversations with me by asking "Where's Will?" or don't talk to me at all because they're so focused on him now....
I know, not his fault. And I'm still being friendly to all of these people. But it doesn't make me happy. Because like, now? Now would be a time when having friends would be nice but even the ones who aren't ditching me don't seem to have time for me. All I need is a good movie-and-ice-cream night, am I asking too much?

I am working on getting hotter still, but the progress is slow going. Partly because I'm exhausted all of the time from this feeling of "What's gonna go wrong next?" because something always does.

Oh? As far as the love life goes? So, I was talking to a few guys (other than James, because as we know, hopeless). And I start going on a few dates (two, to be exact) one of them -- Jeremy. (Too many J names, I know!) He even came to see my show, and awkwardly met my dad despite my best efforts, and things seemed to be going pretty good. I did not, however, allow myself to jinx it by thinking the "b" word ("boyfriend", I mean).
So I must've jinxed it some other way, because he's moved the hell on from me. To a high schooler. Now, I know I'm an age-is-just-a-number sort of guy, but a high schooler over me? I cannot fathom that a high schooler has more to offer. But he says he's "happier now than he's ever been", and who am I to stand in the way of a timeless week-old love? It's not like I can compete with singing "Bubbly" over the phone. Maybe because I haven't made the effort to learn the words because I think that it's a little ridiculous to learn something someone else wrote and use it as a way of conveying my emotions? Sorry if I think it'd be more romantic if that sort of a thing were conveyed in something, I don't know, original?
Anyways, I told him my feelings for him in a way-out-of-left-field spilling of heart and soul (something I have never ever done before in my entire life). And when he found out I'd never done that before he said "Oh" which leads me to my latest conclusion:
I've always been doing the right thing by shutting the hell up.
My friends keep saying that when he realizes that a high schooler, no matter how mature, is incapable of having a serious relationship because of the structure of their life and the changes they're about to go through with starting college and all, he's going to come crawling back to me. Question is -- if my friends are right that he'll come back, am I gonna take him back? I've never been much of one for second chances and I've been right before....

Anyways, to sum it all up: men suck, I'm still chronically single, depressed, and am right that spilling your guts is a totally worthless action. (Unless, apparently, you're spilling your guts through someone else's words.)

Ooooooh, but I have a new keyboard! And it's fun to type on because all the keys are there and none of them stick!

And Katie and I went to DC last weekend (when the whole Jeremy thing went down) and visited our friend Ashley and we went to Apex and it was a phenomenal blast!

Now I'm in RI and I need to hop offline so I can go shower because I'm working at the Dark Lady's Thanksgiving Eve party!!

Oooh, I also forgot about this:

Watch More Videos Uploaded by bebo.com/acrowleyorder

Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

"Your problems don't exist when the music feels like this..."

I want to go back to the weekend.

I spent yesterday on a train, and it was awful. We were prob'ly 45 minutes late getting back to PA because the train would not leave stations for like twenty minutes. Get the people and leave, that's your job!!
Then I had to race around doing shit, and then I had to go buy things for my one act -- but I couldn't find anything I needed, not anywhere!

Then I had my one act rehearsal, not the dress rehearsal thank God -- but because Night A of the festival did have their dress rehearsal, we couldn't rehearse in the space. We spent most of the rehearsal wandering around from place to place looking for a good place to rehearse. We never found on, but my actress practiced hitting my actor over the head with the gun so I guess we accomplished something. It was very, very, very frustrating.

So, I came back to my room, all frustrated and in kind of bad mood. So when Boy-Craig IMed me (or did I IM him? I don't remember...), I was pretty pleased -- because, hey, who better to cheer me up, right? Except, no. Apparently, despite my attempts to be charming, the fact that I was honest and talked about my dancing (not a lot, mind you) made Craig's mother hate me.
Of course, if I'd been less surprised to see Craig's mother, it probably would have dawned on me that Craig's had bad experiences with dating dancers before and obviously, mom would know and would be wary. But I didn't ask if anyone else was at Olive Garden, or who, so it's not my fault.
I screwed up, and I apologized, profusely. But the damage was done, and now Craig is all "I don't know, I don't know" second guessing himself again. His mother said I reminded her of his ex. His ex, of course, was dancing behind his back, cheating on him, sleeping around, and all around deserves to be castrated and then thrown off a helicopter into the Sahara. I'm nothing like his ex, which I explained to him. He said he knew...but if he knows that, then why is he letting his mother's comment bother him so much? I mean, I understand being bothered by the fact that his mother doesn't like me, but being bothered by that comment?
AGH MEN!

Then I woke up today not feeling very good but I got all ready for classes and work. Then I went to class. While I was there, Christine, who I work with at abercrombie, called and told me they were trying to cut hours and that I didn't need to come in. So, yay that. So I came back to my room and passed out until 3:30, pretty much.

I'm still feeling pretty gross but I really need to track down a folding chair.

I just want my weekend back. It was simple, it was spectacular.