Showing posts with label Movies - The Covenant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Movies - The Covenant. Show all posts

Friday, September 15, 2006

"Harry Potter can kiss my ass" -- weekend movie review!

So, despite my date cancelling on me (which, yay, but that's nothing to do with this) I went to see the Covenant tonight.


The movie is mostly an action movie, with enough horror thrown in that they can show the preview for The Grudge 2 at it (which, hi, could have lived without). I do recall actually jumping once during the movie, more out of surprise than fear, but I don't remember what I was jumping for, so clearly we can forget it ever happened.

The plot was decent, not unpredictable though. Four witches (male witches, take that!) with incredible power from old family lines. They suffer from a curse -- untold power but each time it is used it drains the life and age away from the person. They can will their abilities into another person, however this will kill them so it is strictly forbidden (this is the covenant which the movie is named after). However, it's revealed during the movie that the fifth family did, in fact, survive. And that fifth family line is seeking power.
At the exact moment of their birth, on their 18th birthday, they're addictive powers mature. This is called "ascending". When the movie begins, we are not far away from the ascension of Caleb, the oldest and most responsible of the four. Reid, a smartass (with a nice ass we get to see later on!) is jealous that Caleb is the first to ascend, so he's been using his abilities more and more -- and in public. So, there's that conflict at the beginning of the movie.

Enter Chase. A transfer student. Popular with the women. Can easily hold his own in a fight. He falls in with the witches, although he seems to get them riled. As it turns out, it's because he's evil. Are we shocked? Uh...no.

As I said, it's all very predictable. They even left it open for a sequel -- who's not surprised? I was commenting to my friend Nicole that what should happen is that they reveal at the end of the movie that the most powerful one of them all is Caleb's anxious mother, who is married into the family so they could have given her powers not at all related to the Covenant. She should have shown up at the final battle and kicked Chase's ass. What a twist that would have been.

The acting was...alright. None of these people are well known, and I suspect there is a reason for that. Once they take some classes they should be fine.
The writing for the dialogue was....mediocre. Nothing wonderful. In some places downright bad. Never great.
The eye candy? Oh my God. So much eye candy. SO much eye candy. Worth seeing the movie JUST for the eye candy.

The one surprise, for me, was that there was a r0mantic plot line but no sex scene. Caleb and his girlfriend did not have sex. I can't remember the last time I saw a movie with romance, that much eye candy (hell, that much naked people) and no sex. It was refreshing.

Look over to the right. Reid's all "What?! I DON'T GET SEX?!" Dude, you don't even get a girl.
I just shaved. Badly (I guess I'm out of practice.) But despite the cut on my face , and the fact that I kept having to go over areas a second, or sometimes third or fourth, time...my face is now cute, well-groomed Graham face again.

Just in time for my date with a boy I'm not interested in. We're going to see The Covenant tonight. Expect a review when I get back (because I'm not going back to his place.)
Er, a review of the movie...not of the date. (Unless you guys want one...?)

I just saw on MySpace a bulletin. I've seen it before, but really, it warrants discussing. It's that "What a Kiss Means" thing. We've all seen it, we all know it. So, the Italics is what the bulletin said, and the bold is what my own interpretation is.
*Kiss on the stomach-----"lets have sex"/"I have a thing for belly buttons."
*Kiss on the Forehead ----"Forever you will be mine"/"I care about you."
*Kiss on the Ear ---"I'm horny"/"I want to make you horny."
*Kiss on the Cheek ---"We're friends"
*Kiss on the Hand ---"I adore you"/"I'm trying to impress you, is it working?"
*Kiss on the Neck ---"We belong together"/"I want to make you horny."
*Kiss on the Shoulder ---"I want you"/"Keep taking off your clothes, I'm just getting started."
*Kiss on the Lips ---"I love you" OR "I want you"/"I like you." (At least I hope those are the meanings of it...)
*Holding Hands ---"We can learn to love each other"/"I don't want you to leave me."
*Slap on the Butt ---"That's mine"
*Playing with the Ear ---"I can't live without you"/"I've got a thing for ears..."
*Holding on tight ---"Don't let go"/"I'm gonna miss you when you're gone."
*Looking into each other's Eyes ---"Don't leave me"/"How do you feel about me?"
*Playing with Hair on Head ---"Tell me you love me"/"You're so cute when you're shorter than me."
*Arms around the Waist ---"I love you too much to let go"/"Mine mine mine mine."
*Laughing while Kissing ---"I am completely Comfortable with you"/"Something funny happened. Not you, I swear!"
There's some advice tacked onto the end of the bulletin as well, which I think bears repeating:
* Dont ask for a kiss, take one.