Friday, September 15, 2006

"Harry Potter can kiss my ass" -- weekend movie review!

So, despite my date cancelling on me (which, yay, but that's nothing to do with this) I went to see the Covenant tonight.


The movie is mostly an action movie, with enough horror thrown in that they can show the preview for The Grudge 2 at it (which, hi, could have lived without). I do recall actually jumping once during the movie, more out of surprise than fear, but I don't remember what I was jumping for, so clearly we can forget it ever happened.

The plot was decent, not unpredictable though. Four witches (male witches, take that!) with incredible power from old family lines. They suffer from a curse -- untold power but each time it is used it drains the life and age away from the person. They can will their abilities into another person, however this will kill them so it is strictly forbidden (this is the covenant which the movie is named after). However, it's revealed during the movie that the fifth family did, in fact, survive. And that fifth family line is seeking power.
At the exact moment of their birth, on their 18th birthday, they're addictive powers mature. This is called "ascending". When the movie begins, we are not far away from the ascension of Caleb, the oldest and most responsible of the four. Reid, a smartass (with a nice ass we get to see later on!) is jealous that Caleb is the first to ascend, so he's been using his abilities more and more -- and in public. So, there's that conflict at the beginning of the movie.

Enter Chase. A transfer student. Popular with the women. Can easily hold his own in a fight. He falls in with the witches, although he seems to get them riled. As it turns out, it's because he's evil. Are we shocked? Uh...no.

As I said, it's all very predictable. They even left it open for a sequel -- who's not surprised? I was commenting to my friend Nicole that what should happen is that they reveal at the end of the movie that the most powerful one of them all is Caleb's anxious mother, who is married into the family so they could have given her powers not at all related to the Covenant. She should have shown up at the final battle and kicked Chase's ass. What a twist that would have been.

The acting was...alright. None of these people are well known, and I suspect there is a reason for that. Once they take some classes they should be fine.
The writing for the dialogue was....mediocre. Nothing wonderful. In some places downright bad. Never great.
The eye candy? Oh my God. So much eye candy. SO much eye candy. Worth seeing the movie JUST for the eye candy.

The one surprise, for me, was that there was a r0mantic plot line but no sex scene. Caleb and his girlfriend did not have sex. I can't remember the last time I saw a movie with romance, that much eye candy (hell, that much naked people) and no sex. It was refreshing.

Look over to the right. Reid's all "What?! I DON'T GET SEX?!" Dude, you don't even get a girl.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So much potential... wasted potential, unfortunately. :( Have to agree on the eye candy, and the title line of your post was my favorite line of the movie. So much of the dialogue was horrid, though. I felt like someone was hitting me over the head with a baseball bat every time they talked about "using" in reference to their powers (we get it, power's like a drug, enough already). The bad guy was about as one-dimensional as they get (and looked so much like Caleb that half the time during the climactic fight scene I couldn't tell who was whom).

And oh, that climactic fight scene. Sarah had been one of the main PoV chars for the entire movie, and then she just... lies there and doesn't do anything. (Speaking of which, a lot of characters get introduced as though they're relevant and then functionally disappear.) The way they fight by throwing balls of energy at each other turns it from a witchcraft movie into a superhero/supervillain movie, totally breaking the supposed genre and making the fight rather uninteresting in the process.

Sigh. I really wanted to like this movie. And honestly, I think I'm only this annoyed by its flaws because it really did have promise, and I hate to see fiction that squanders its potential.