Uh.....huh?

I was having trouble finding a random image I liked for today. Nothing really fit my mood...a mood I couldn't really identify.

And then I went on Facebook. The mood was narcissistic, I think...the random picture is from shortly before Christmas:
Yes, I really am decorated. :-P
Yes, that is a really bad picture of me. :-P

"You could be the best thing about me..."

I spend almost all of my time trying to make other people happy. Smiles are what makes the sun shine, laughter makes the world turn, joy is the

That's not to say I'm a good person. A good person would try to make everyone happy. I pass my judgements, and if I decide I don't like a person, I really couldn't care less how they're feeling. In my book, that makes me a bitch and a bad person.
Then again, with the number of people I consider friends out of the number of people that I know... maybe not. I guess we'll see when I get to the Pearly Gates and Peter says "Dayum, boi, you a bitch."

Anyways, I like to live by the philosophy that if the people in your life aren't happy, and if you aren't enjoying yourself, you must be doing something wrong.

In other news, I'm having a rather difficult day today. Ew at that. So, I'm sending out ecards to people, instead of packing or highlighting or working on my comm project. Or eating, which I should do too...

"You work real hard and the pay's real low and every hour goes oh-so-slow..."

Today I have some news for you.

Lancaster County is a dangerous place to be. The Amish shootings you have undoubtedly heard about occured her. And then, Wednesday night/Thursday morning there was a murder in Elizabethtown. At this rate, in a few days I will be moving to South Philly in order to feel safe.

Speaking of feeling safe (actually, no, this is a total non sequitor), today is my friend Becky (whom I call Beckydoll and who used to call me Sparky for reasons I still don't know) is turning 23. I feel the need to just sort of announce that. Because I'm cool like that.
Happy birthday Beckydoll! To commemorate your birthday I give you a moose who looks remarkably like me holding a bagel. Oh, wait...you took that picture, didn't you? :-P It's okay, cause I love it.

Oh, exciting news? Next weekend, I'm going home to Rhode Island!! I'm so excited. SO EXCITED!!!!

And, well, that's basically all there is to say. Mostly I am supposed to be studying for my math test.

Oh, no, wait. I did neglect to mention something. My job hunt. Remember how optomistic I was?
Well, A&F still hasn't called, neither has the club. You know, that club where everyone knows me? Where I am friends with almost everyone who works in the 18+ area? Yeah, that one.
And to top it off, just in case five weeks of hearing nothing wasn't enough so that I assumed H&M wasn't hiring me, I got a letter from them in the mail. They called my resume "impressive" and said they would keep my application on file and let me know if a position I was better suited for became available. Which is exactly the sort of thing I would say if I wanted to subtly and politely tell someone to go fuck themself. Sooo, I'm still unemployed, and running out of options I might actually enjoy working at.

"I wish you were a stranger I could disengage..."

I've been doing some thought lately. I've come up with some rather poor aliases for various people involved in these thoughts as well, and I think I shall start to use them.

It's kind of put me in a foul mood lately... sometimes thinking does that.

(<---Graham on a bad day, unshaven, and giving someone the good old West Virginia.) I've been thinking about Rhode Island. I've been thinking about Arcadia. I've been thinking about school. I've been thinking about Boy-Sheetz (the boy I met last Saturday). I've been thinking about monogomy. I've been thinking about clothes. I've been thinking entirely too much.

As far as Rhode Island goes...I'm a little more at-ease. I just talked to my good friend Sundance, finally. He says he hasn't heard from anyone from this summer lately either. I know at least Business-Man and Crazy-Man are alive thanks to MySpace, so that's nice. In the meantime, however, I'm still hung up on a boy (Boy-Dancer) who, for some reason, neither answers his phone or returns phone calls. I also know that there's some kind of drama going down, and I do not know the details. So I'm still concerned, very concerned even. And I am at a complete loss for what to do about it. Any thoughts?

In a way this all leads into the thoughts about Boy-Sheetz. I'm actually, and this is terrible and I feel like the most awful human being, not really that into him. Definitely not as into him as he is into me. I mean, don't get me wrong -- he's cute, he's nice, he makes me smile. All good qualities in a boyfriend. But I feel like we've jumped the gun here -- going home from the club together to boyfriends is skipping a couple steps, isn't it? Also, I honestly don't know if I feel like I want monogamy right now.
No, that's wrong. I do want monogamy, I just want it with someone who doesn't want it with me -- Boy-Dancer. Dilemma!! So what I need now is a nice, easy-let-down for Boy-Sheetz. I'm thinking "I just don't think I'm in a good place to be in a relationship right now" is probably my best bet, and it is even the truth!

Then we get to Arcadia and to school. I remember when I enjoyed college. I even didn't mind that the theater department owned my soul.
Now, at this point, I am spending entire nights, when I should be doing work for my classes (which I'm actually struggling in) in the theater so I can say "Yes, sir." three or four times. And I can't even act those lines because every time I make some kind of character choice, DirectorSev tells me I'm wrong. "You're old!" he says -- to which I respond, "Not according to the script." But, y'know, Stoppard only wrote it what did he know...
And what they seem to have in mind for my hair and such? Do they realize I'm a butler from 1809 in a wealthy enough household that Lord Byron stayed there, that they could afford to have frequent hunting trips and a private tutor and have their garden entirely relandscaped? What they are having me look like is woefully inaccurate, and it makes me cringe. The entire show is making my cringe at this point. And more than that -- it's making my grades suffer. I am writing this now because I have just finished a project I could have spent all weekend on instead of all Sunday night if my weekend (during the day, I have way more trouble concentrating at night, although I forced myself into it tonight) hadn't been utterly monopolized by the theater department.

As far as clothes go...the fact is, I need more money. All of my jeans are 28/30, and I'm a 26/30, but you can't find those affordably anywhere. So the answer is clearly that I must be rich as quickly as I can.

"I want my silver spoon..."

"Don't need it right now, but I better get it soon!"

I love this song. "Great Big Stuff" from Dirty Rotten Scoundrels...

"I just want someone to love me....
FOR MY MONEY! OH YEAAAAAAAAAH!!"

Anyways, now that I've talked about myself, it's time to (in a very WB-TV show-esque way) catch you up on the various "story arcs" going on in my life right now.

I'm excelling in the theater department at school, currently participating in our main stage production (I'm playing Jellaby, the butler in Arcadia). For which I am not allowed to shave.

That is kind of an issue, actually. I'm also in a desperate hunt. Presently, my best bets for employment are either H&M (oh, I can only hope and pray!!) or Abercrombie & Fitch. However, since my previous "best bets" recently have all crashed and burned in a much less pleasant way than the similarly named Savage Garden song, we're not feeling too optomistic at the moment.

In an almost-job related area, the local club has just begun to work its way back into my life. And by "work its way" I mean, it's forcing through everything else. You see, in a brash attempt to show an ex-boyfriend that he was screwing with the wrong guy, I entered this pageant for the club title. I was successful in my goals -- I beat my ex-boyfriend's contestant (he was helping this one guy), but didn't win myself. I came in second. Today, however, I received a phone call from the winner of the pageant. He is leaving for the Air Force, soon. Which leaves me with a title I don't particularly want, nor do particularly have the amount of time I would like to devote to having this title. Worse still...this year's pageant is coming up in November. Which means, I get to jump in and finish planning, organizing, running, and hosting the pageant.

In the romantic aspects of this thing I call my life....well, that's not so exciting. I have a guy hitting on me who I am totally beyond uninterested in. I may or may not be going on a no-strings-attached-I'm-not-really-interested date with another guy who's been trying to woo me since the pageant we were just discussing. I figure it's been long enough he deserves a chance. And I mean, he's a sweet guy, calls when he says he will...who knows, it could be something good. I am, however, hung up on a guy in Rhode Island who's not interested in me at all. Eh...you win some, you lose some, right? Of course right.
So, mostly, my love life is being lived through the stories I hear from all of my friends. So, in that sense, man I get around. :P

"Maybe I'll tangle in the power lines"

So, I decided I wasn't exactly a huge fan of Dlist's blogging capabilities (I think I just couldn't figure it out well enough, actually) so I'm starting a thingy on here.

And, actually, poking around, I think I like this more'n Xanga or Livejournal and definitely more than MySpace. (And yes, I've used/do use all of the above enough to compare...it's not that I don't have a life, it's just that I like to write about my life. A lot.) (Self centered? You betcha!)

So...for those of you just tuning in...here's me:
My name is Graham. I've heard the puns and jokes that just went through your head, it's almost guaranteed. If you think it was original, you are more than welcome to tell your joke though. (If it involves crackers of any kind, it wasn't original. :P)

What do you want to know about me? Well, we'll go through all those standard survey questions, I guess...I'm from Rhode Island, but I got to school in Pennsyltucky (Central PA). I'm 19 years old, born June 23 which makes me a cancer on the cusp of Gemini. I'm an actor, and a theater major. I'm determined, some day I will make this theater thing into a career, I'll be successful. I would go so far as to say, I'll be famous. I'm bisexual, although I much prefer men. So that makes me, as I would call it "mostly gay" or "homoflexible". My ancestry is pretty much 99% English, 0.6% German and 0.4% Scottish. I mean, I'm estimating there, but you get the idea. I'm a W.A.S.P.

My life story is generally uninteresting. I grew up in Rhode Island, the son of an actor/real estate lawyer and an author. I have one older brother and two cats. I spent the last two years of high school going in and out of the hospital with Crohn's Disease, and then I went to college. Now I'm in college, and I lead what is, to me, an eventful life. However, from another person's perspective I'm sure it seems highly average. In the future, I hope to go to New York, work there as an actor, do some stage, TV, film, and the like. Versatility is the name of the game (and read into that what you will...)

As far as things I like go? Well, myself for starters. I'm a big fan of me.
I love to eat at diners, particularly at the odd hours of the morning like..3:00 am. I like to sleep though, so don't ask why I'm so willing to stay up all night just for a plate of the MoJo Diner's bacon cheddar fries. I will listen to basically any type of music except screamer rock -- if you're gonna call it music, I better not be able to do it. I'm not musically talented at all. Most movies, except ones whose previews kill my brain cells (a la, DOOM and You, Me, & Dupree) will be given a chance to be good. Same with TV shows. I'm very open-minded about entertainment and have a huge range in taste. As far as food goes, my favorite food is ice cream but I have this terrible addiction to Oreos. I need a rehab center. Dead serious.

My absolute, absolute favorite thing ever? PEOPLE. Love them. There's so much variety between everyone, diversity. It's incredible to watch. I love it. I love to people watch, to meet people, to talk to people, to see people, to imitate people.

I guess that's about it for now.