"If I tell you I'm weak and I'm scared, will that seem absurd? I'm the loneliest boy in the world."

Okay, no, the song lyrics in the title have nothing to do with this. It's just the song that was playing.

Moooving on...
I sometimes like to look at the way fans interact with their celebrities. It's amazing just how much it varies. And not just between industries. Just taking a look at the blogs of some of my favorite porn stars, the behaviors of fans are SO different.
(There is an order to this, see if you can figure it out.)

Take, for instance, Mason Wyler's Myspace Blog. Up until the last entry, he has gotten so many rude and disrespectful comments, like he's little more than an expensive prostitute. Like people have totally forgotten there's a person who's doing these porn videos? I mean, he also gets a good amount of normal people who actually treat him with a certain amount of respect and don't say shit like "i'll pay you 500 bucks to have sex w/ me!!!!!11oneone"
Seriously, morons, the boy has a boyfriend. And honestly, if you're willing to pay that much (or more!) for sex, what makes you think you're attractive enough for it to be worth that amount? Geezis.
Anyways, that's not the point. The point is that I see a lot of this rudeness on his blog. Why? I don't know. He always seems like a sweetheart to the people that don't treat him like a toy. Sure, he cops an attitude if you earn it (and even then, I'd probably give these people so much more attitude than Mason does. He's usually along the lines of "Excuse you, I have a boyfriend" whereas I'd probably be like "Yeah, so, with your face you better add a whole lot more zeroes to the end of that number and pray a lot.")

Meanwhile, we have Pete Ross, whom I adore. Now, I'm sure I don't see all of his fan interaction since he approves the comments on his blogs and I'm positive he's very selective about the fan e-mail he posts. That's cool, though. Actually, I think that's probably better because that's sort of like...if you're one of those people who like confesses secrets to the stars you love, you're able to do that and you can feel safe that it's still going to be a secret.
Anyways, what I've seen though is a lot of respect, but there is still sometimes that sort of "Hey, you must be a whore, please sleep with me?" thing that crops up, mostly in the subtext, of some of his fan's messages.
Which, honestly, kind of disgusting. It's subtle though, tolerable. And Pete handles it really well. But, and maybe I'm just being all conceited here but...what kind of fan doesn't know that Pete is madly in love with his boyfriend? Not like either one of them is hiding it, for serious now.

Jason Ridge is much the same as Pete, in a lot of ways (although he is less open about his romantic life, although I'm pretty sure he's seeing someone? I could be wrong.) Pete and Jason also seem to be near the top of the "compliments" heap, with a higher percentage of "omg your so hot" comments and such than most of the other porn stars. Not that the others don't get a TON of that as well...
(And how about the first result in my Google Image search for "Jason Ridge" came up with my blog? Awesome!!)

The only one who tops Jason and Pete, percentage-wise, in the compliments area is Jonathan Vargas. This is mostly because he's still a newcomer, really, so it may change. As more fans discover him, I'll have to revisit this idea...but I am pretty sure he's going to join the same category as Pete and Jason.

Then you get Francois Sagat. I can only judge Francois' fan interaction from the letters that I see and can read, because of the whole foreign languages thing butttt...Francois, aside from the compliments, gets ine thing I think is highly...well, stupid. People asking him to plan performances at clubs near them. I know I'm on the edge of that with my "Gosh, I wish I could get to your show" comments that I sometimes leave him but I at least understand that someone else is scheduling these appearances. I'm sure Francois gets some say, but you want him to show up at a club, he's not the guy to talk to. Talk to the owner of the club...duh. :-P
But, anyhow, his fans (in general) seem more respectful than any of the other porn stars I've addressed yet in this post.

Then you hit upon Francesco D'Macho's blog. For some reason I can't figure out, he has, by light years, the most respectful fans (unless there's something in the ones I can't read because of the foreign language thing) (some of those fans are so fluent in Italian, it's insane...and probably because they're from Italy :-P). Like, his posts end up being conversations because his fans (myself included, but I tend to be like this for everyone I'm a fan of) are...relaxed and conversational in their comments to him. I'm sure he gets a fair amount of the disrespectful comments, and since he screens them maybe he just leaves them out so no one sees them but...the point is, his fans are so much more polite and treat him like much more of a human being rather than a toy or a tool.
(Ha, and I adore how much my blog shows up in these Google image searches...I haven't even featured Francesco D'Macho and I'm all over his image search.)
Only Johnny Hazzard also has this quality in the comments on his blog, but I'm sure that's because commenting on his blog requires membership to his site and also reading through his posts that tend to be long, scenic, and descriptive of his life. (Which I enjoy each and every post, but I can't afford membership, so poo!)

So, here's my question: why do fans act in the way that they do regarding different stars? Is it a regional thing? The attitude of the star? Both? Neither? Is it how much you screen your comments and such? Am I thinking into this waaay too deeply?

My other question, and this is the hugely important one: when is Roman Heart going to get a blog???? :-P (SO kidding, guys, I don't want to stalk him. No, really...)

"Love will find a way through paths where wolves fear to prey." -Lord Byron

Today is Thursday, which means we need to have our Pretty Person of the Week. I've had a few options for today, though I'd been planning since last Friday who this week would be. I was obviously going to stick with the plan, and indeed I have. I am, however, having a very Kate & Leopold day today.

You see, I wrote a paper on the 19th century poet Lord Byron today. I have never concentrated on him much, but he does come up in passing whether you like it or not (particularly when you've been involved in the play Arcadia, where he is a central character though he never appears on stage). He always struck me as rakish and I could never understand how it was he was such a womanizer. I discovered some time ago that he's actually bisexual and then I theorized that he was actually just omnisexual -- that he loved sex so much he didn't much care who he had it with. Yet, somehow, in my researching him today all of those presumptions about him seem to have vanished. He's actually kind of enthralling and fascinating...and not absolutely ugly, if the portraits I've seen today are any indication.
As I said, it's been a very Kate & Leopold day.

Anyways, the actual Pretty Person of the Week is the third porn star whose blog I read regularly. Yes, that's right, Jason Ridge!
Like all my favorite everyone, the face is gorgeous...but I love, especially, how expressive his eyebrows are.
You can always just picture porn stars are just these people who are sex-sex-sex-sex all of the time. Just like Pete Ross and Jonathon Vargas, Jason Ridge breaks that stereotype, especially in his blog. Just like anyone else he's a person. He's got depth, charm, and he's continuing to learn about the world around him and life in general. That's what is most fascinating about him -- he acknowledges the lessons that he learns and tries to incorporate them into his life.
His hotness is also really versatile. He's hot with hair or a shaved head, scruff or clean shaven, clothes or naked, back or....you know I'm just gonna leave it at that. :-P
Jason is another one where I could go on and on and on about him, his physical beauty, his personality...which I could do about pretty much anyone I post as a pretty person of the week...but I think I'm just going to give you a few more pictures and call it a post.

And now, ladies and gentlemen...

I need this post. I was just over at DListed and they have pictures of Donatella Versace in their latest post. After seeing that muppet-turned-person, I think we all need a nice...

Pretty Person of the Week!!!

And the title goes to...Jensen Ackles!
Okay, he's not the *most* credible actor. I mean, when you show up on Days of Our Lives, Dark Angel, and Smallville, none of which is known particularly for it's amazing acting (although I'll freely admit, I'm a fan of both Dark Angel and Smallville and they *do* have their moments). However, if you're questioning his talent you need only look so far as Supernatural, a thrilling ride with superb performances by both of it's delectable stars (the other star being none other than Gilmore Girls hunk Jared Padelacki).
But Jensen, right. What can I say? He's gorgeous! Look at those lips, those eyes! That goofy facial expression, cowboy hat, and amazing torso!
We should also look for him in the upcoming movie Ten Inch Hero.

Previous Pretty People:

• Hugh Jackman
  
• Shawn and Aaron Ashmore
• Lauren Graham (I know, I know, throwing you for a loop on that one! :-P)
• Pete Ross
• Jim Verraros

In other news, that collage that Pete Ross made for me? Well, it's getting him a reputation in the gay porn community -- is he the sweetest star in the industry? I'd say so (though I have limited experience, y'know...), and QueerBites seems to agree.

"Might need you to say it's alright..."

So I have been having a little bit of stress. A teensy weensy bit anyways. Tomorrow morning I have a presentation I'm totally under prepared for, call backs for my show were tonight (I wound up with a phenomenal cast, but not the one I wanted thanks to our dear old professor Mike...)

I came up to my room tonight beyond dead. I was practically a brain-eating zombie. And then I check my e-mail and I found the most amazing things ever.

Now, Pete Ross was having a not-good day the other day so I dropped him an ecard, like I do sometimes. I mean it takes two seconds, makes somebody smile, so whatever. But he sends me two e-mails with a grand total of FOUR collages to make my night. How amazing? I know it's not Thursday but I'm gonna have to give him a big ol' Pretty Person of the Week, again, because he's just that incredible.He said he'd been embarrassed in the grocery store doing that too. How amazing is it when someone goes out of their way to publicly humiliate themselves just because you took two minutes sending them an ecard?

(Okay, granted, it took more than two minutes but only because I'm technologically-challenged.)

"Forget what we're told, before we get too old..."

And just think, if I owned a camera I could have that very same picture!

That's right, today I was in the gay area of Philadelphia. For about an hour. That's like a fifth of the time we spent getting to and from Philly, but oh well.

Well, let's start from the beginning because it was a busy day. First my alarm went off. I stumbled over to it and hit "snooze". Next thing I know I'm waking up again. So I lie awake for a second and then the alarm goes off again. So I went over and turned it off.

So, later on I head off to breakfast. I get there, I eat, nothing special. On the way to my car, I run into my friend Elyse. We begin to chat, most specifically about our romantic lives. She tells me she's heard that people saw Anthony making out with someone other than me at a party on Friday night. Okay, so I know he did that, he told me so I was cool with it. But at this point, that means there's a rumor going around school that I'm being cheated on. How do I nip that in the bud? Well, easy way is the same easy way to deal with his trust issues -- dump him. But I kinda don't want to.

Anyways, that's neither here nor there.
There was an Eagles game tonight. You know what that means? THREE HOURS FROM LANCASTER TO PHILLY! Justin, Danny, and I were not pleased. But getting there made up for it, that's for sure! The streets were filled with music, laughter, happiness, the occassional lesbian catfight (okay, one, and the bitches nearly landed on me :-P). Full of life and vibrance.

Also there were haters, drag queens, and the occassional person dressed as a zombie or a Pacific Island cannibal...but what can ya do? :-P

So, we zooooooooooomed back to Etown so I could be in time for auditions. You see, I'm directing a one act play in our one act festival. Unfortunately, I was still late. Fortunately, my stage manager Keith was there. He is such a life saver.

Anyways.......a whole lot's gone on since I started this post. And now I have four hours between now and my first class of the week........so I'll relate it all later.

In the meantime, my thoughts and prayers are going out to my Muse, my friend Matt in Massachusetts, and Pete Ross. May your days get brighter.

"I console myself that Hallmark cards are true, I really do..."

So, in first news: I have definitely only *just* gone back to see if I have any comments on any posts. I was delighted to find that I did -- which means I actually have readers! You're not just imaginary people! That has made my day in ways that you don't even know. So, I would like to thank Heather of Thoughts from the Void and Pete Ross, our very own Porn Rebel, for lighting up this dark and dreary day.

Now, I'm about to expose to you all just how incredibly jaded I am. This is something I usually try to keep hidden, but I tend to be highly distrustful of men. And, as per usual, when I let down that guard I have and actually date someone, it turns out I'm just being an idiot.
Now as some of you know, I've been a little more than unsure of my relationship (if you can call it that) with Boy-Anthony. I did, last night, confirm that I'm just second-guessing myself and I do actually like him. Unfortunately, this occurred because I was so upset with him.

You see, he had told me that he was going to go to a club, that he'd called off work, probably in Philly. That's fine. I had a birthday party I had to go to.
While I'm at the party, he calls and lets me know he's on my campus. I told him I wasn't on campus, but I would be back in a couple hours and I would call him. When I returned to campus I called him -- three times. He did not answer, he did not call back. So I just sort of chilled in my dorm room. I'm listening to (surprise, surprise) Savage Garden when suddenly I hear a knock on my door. Loud, frantic knocking. And then someone going "Graham, Graham!" So I stop the music, and open the door to find two of the guys on my floor -- both drunk, standing there.
"Anthony says it's over!" one of them says.
"Yeah, some guy said it."
"He said something about you don't know how to make a phone call. Or answer your phone!"
Okay, so I get that Boy-Anthony's probably shitfaced, but sending people up three flights of stairs to tell me this instead of doing it himself? That on its own would piss me off. But that lame excuse of phone calls too? Call me Livid.
So I called him, and he called back a few minutes later. No idea what the two guys were talking about. But then again, he can barely remember his own name, he's that drunk. He tells me to meet him at the diner with some of his friends.

I get to the diner, and I'm doing the good boyfriend thing. He couldn't read the menu, so I ordered for him -- exactly what he wanted (well, he didn't want the water I made him drink...). I helped him stand up when he didn't feel like sitting. I put up with him telling me to "Fuck off" over and over and over whenever I wanted him to sit down or drink his water.
And I'm not mad when he tells me he made out with a cute girl tonight, cause you know what? At least he's telling me. I agree with Darren Hayes, "I believe trust is more important than monogamy". When I mention that, Boy-Anthony also mentions "I might have done something with a boy tonight, but I don't remember." I'm still not mad, he's being honest.

And then he gets pissed at me. He gets mad at me because of two things: 1) I won't do anything with him while he's drunk. That's part of my rule, either both parties are sober or both parties are drunk when sexual acts occur. If both parties are drunk, then it's either something they both want or its a mutual not-thinking-straight. If both parties are sober, you know they both want it. There's no danger of taking advantage of someone.
2) He's mad because apparently he heard from two drunk people who don't even know me that I'm fucking some guy at my school. Which, I'm not. I don't even know who they're talking about. Then Boy-Anthony makes insinuations about myself and my friend Cody, who I *almost* dated at one point but we're both very much over each other. I was just like "Yeahno." But that pissed me off -- he's the one doing shit with other people, and he's pissed at me? He has that little trust in me? How can you date someone you have no trust for?

I told him I would call him today. I haven't. But I should. Probably now-ish.
But, hey, I've had a good rant.

Thanks again for the comments, they really did cheer me up! :)

"Got a little crush, I just can't get enough of that stuff, it's such a rush!"

It's Thursday now. We know what that means! PRETTY PEOPLE!!
This hottastical man is (like you couldn't tell from the picture) Pete Ross. Gay porn star, flight attendant, photographer, rock god, blogger, homosexual. He's got a whole lotta roles to fill, and he does them all admirably.

And some of you might be like "porn star, skeevy!" but really....is it? They use condoms in almost all the movies these days (Pete uses them in all of his, unless I've missed something...), they get tested, and more than that? Like any celebrity, they do things. Most porn stars show up at events like Pride Parades, or charity events. Hell, I've heard of some charity events that are basically just FOR porn stars. It's basically the same as being a famous actor, only with clothes on less of the time. No big deal.
(Well, actually, that clothes thing entirely depends on the actor. For instance, Brad Pitt at this point? Might as well be in porn. :-P)

Flight attendant? That's a hot job. The travel, the places you get to see....the activism when your boss tries to fire you for your other job? Yeah, because not only is Pete Ross a flight attendant -- he's a flight attendant who fought his own industry for their discriminating against him, and won. That is an accomplishment.

He takes pictures too. If you look at his blog (it's in my "Other Interesting Blogs" list over on the right), the last entry will take you to a photo album with plenty of his pictures. It's not say, National Geographics, but then he's not dumb enough to take pictures into a shark's mouth so I'd say that's impressive. They're better than most of the pictures I take (when I own a camera...which, not so much lately.)

If you read his blog though, you'll also find he's a fairly good writer. He has proper spelling and grammar! And also, an every-day person. And reasonably intelligent!

As for him being a rock god?
I just don't know what else you'd call it. He sings, and he's...rock god. That's all.

Oh, and in case you couldn't tell by the fact that it's the lyrics to "Crush (1980 Me)" by Darren Hayes in the title there....I am still listening pretty much non-stop to Savage Garden. It's probably pretty sickening to everyone else.