"I'm a clown, cause I laugh at angels."

Remember back in the day when I used to do a weekly hottie? How many of you are interested in me resuming that practice? Let's have a show of hands, or rather, comments.

I'm feeling kind of blah today.
Okay, it's really been kind of all week.
I figured out why. I'll give you a hint. Boys. And a teensy bit of self-loathing for my total fear of rejection that renders me absolutely unable to talk emotions roughly 95% of the time.
The Daniel Bedingfield song "Gotta Get Through This" is totally helping right now. I'm a little shocked there's nothing by Darren Hayes or Savage Garden that is ringing true, cause you know how less-than-three that divine angel of music.

Moving on....I'm running errands today.
First, I need to get gas. That is going to hurt. A lot. Last time I filled up, which was in my rental, it cost me slightly over fifty dollars. You can bet your ass, I will not be filling up, at least not from E, for a looooong ass time . Putting in twenty bucks and that is all.
Seriously, gas hurts.

I'm bringing my class schedule over to American Eagle so I can be on the schedule now that I'm back in Pennsylvania. I sort of implied I'd do this yesterday, but I simply never got my act together and got out of the house. It was that blah feeling. But the sooner I'm working, the better, because lord almighty I need money.

I have to go grocery shopping. We have food, yes. Katie went shopping when she got back from the holidays about a week before I did. Unfortch, Katie went shopping thinking "Oh, it's about week before Graham gets here..."
I am unable to eat almost everything in my own kitchen.

Tonight I have to go to XS and talk about some shiz with the boss.
See, I came back and I sent a message to the manager who the owners had kinda put in charge of us dancers to let him know that I was back, right?
He sent me a message back saying that they don't have dancers at XS anymore.
Now, not that I'm incredibly pissed over this (okay, I kinda am) but shouldn't I have at least gotten a message on Myspace, if not an e-mail or a phone call? Like, normally you let people know when you're firing them, right? That's not some kind of workplace myth, is it?
So, anyways, I just need to let them know I'm irked. I'm not looking for my job back, I'm looking for still not having to pay cover even though I don't work there.
I mean, after all, their 18+ Thursday night draws people in from as far away as Baltimore, and who was it that told them to have it on Thursdays and lower the cover to $5.00? Who was there for every single lame-ass 18+ Tuesday night despite my morning Wednesday classes at the time? Give you a hint, his name starts with a G. :P
Loyalty, that's what it's all about.

It's going to be my first night out since I got back to PA. How lame that it'll be so marred.

Also, if anyone knows places looking for go go boys....
I know that Town is always looking and I saw recently that Chris Ryan was looking for some. Both those are hugely far away, but it could be worth it.

I never really discussed my New Years Resolutions, did I? Right, here they are:

• Start paying more attention to my health
• Take all of my pills all of the time
• Work out
• I need a work out buddy
  
• Eat more, eat better
• Schedule the doctor's appointments I'm supposed to make
• Get my elbow looked at -- it still doesn't straighten all the way. It's been a long ass time.
  
• Start modeling as much as possible
• Get hotter
• Work out
• Remember the Jergens!!
• Audition for a theater production outside of school

So there you have it folks.