Like a Polaroid Picture

So I'm putting forth a great deal of effort here as I am thoroughly unmedicated right now. It feels about equivalent to how I imagine it would feel if someone were taking a rusty, dull, serrated saw and attacking my elbow with it.

I'm going to talk to you today about go go dancing. Why? One, because I miss it lately. Like, a lot. Two, because I have lots of hot pictures of other people go go dancing to share with you too, so pay attention. Three, because lots of people have questions about the job, and hopefully this will answer some and if it does leave a comment!! I'm interested in hearing your questions, comments, and thoughts about go go dancing!

Anyways, I do miss go go dancing. I mean, there's a lot of negatives to dancing in a club. For instance, there's the completely unfounded idea that comes along with anyone who works in any aspect of the sex industry -- that you're also a prostitute. I have never had and would never have sex for money (although I am absolutely not passing any judgement on anyone who does, I don't see a problem with it, it just isn't something I would do). I didn't even do private dances -- not even still at the clubs I've worked at.

But somehow, working in that industry you aren't just a visual object for people to look at -- which is really how it ought to be -- you are a sexual object people believe they can touch and feel as they please. That's a distinct negative, especially when your friends begin to get that idea as well. And while they may not realize this (or they may), there are a good number of people in my social circle at the clubs who treat me in that way.
It's that very idea about dancers that makes dating so difficult.At the same time, I made plenty of friends out of customers and coworkers. Of course, some of my friends distanced themselves when I started to dance. I don't know that that wouldn't happen again, especially since I've gotten back to being closer with some of them since I stopped dancing.
But, respectively, I've also become very distanced from a lot of my other friends I used to see on at least a semi-regular basis when I danced at XS. And if I could manage to stay friends with the ones I've reconnected with, and reconnect with those friends I used to see all the time when I danced.

I also really miss those bonds you form with the people that you dance with. Sure, they're not my best friends, and we may not actually be that close but even now...anybody I danced with, I would do anything for. It's not like a familial bond, it's more of a "I've got your back" kind of a bond. And that's the truth. I did then and I do now have the back of any of my coworkers from my go go days, and I don't think they could do anything to change that. I miss that kind of instant and, in my opinion, necessary bond of a sort of trust (probably the closest thing to trust that I feel with any males, cause, man, I have issues) that builds between dancers.

And without my go go dancing, I would not have had the opportunity to meet the occassional porn stars that I have met and I thus would probably not talk to the models, porn stars, and other beautiful people that I'm a fan of -- some of whom, I would go so far as to call Internet friends (when I use the term friend kind of loosely, anyways).

There's also that whole exhibitionist streak in me. I don't have the best body and I never will. I'm not saying that as a complaint, I love a large number of my flaws (the major exception being my ginormous nose, but other people seem to like it), it's just a statement of fact. That doesn't mean that I don't love for people to see it. And I love seeing other people's bodies -- okay, true, not everyone's but still. It's a whole give-and-take, extremely shallow and vain form of exhibitionism but it's exhibitionism all the same.
I know I can show off a little bit when I'm not working, but it's just not the same. Anyone who's been there and enjoyed the job knows exactly what I mean.

Plus, I just love wearing sexy underwear and dancing is such a good excuse for it.
I also love the make up and themed outfits that we occassionally find ourselves in -- a personal favorite being my "iced out" look for New Year's Eve.

Also, when I was go go dancing I never had the financial issues that I've been running into in the past months. I never made tons (although, it was not uncommon , but it was enough to get me by and -- with the help of a minimum wage day job -- keep me living in fair amounts of comfort too. Now...well, now I am flat ass broke and asking my parents and grandmother for money with some regularity.
As degrading as a lot of people think the job is -- and, yes, in some ways it certainly is -- it helped me be independent from my parents and in that sense I had lots more respect for myself than I do right now because I knew I could rely on myself to pull something together.

I mean, I know in this post I'm ignoring all the things I tend to complain about and hate about go go dancing, but isn't there a down side to most everything?

But anyways, I'm definitely planning to continue dancing at the Dark Lady when I get home for the summer. Hopefully when I come back to this area next school year, I'll be able to get a gig at Town or Be:Bar or Grand Central or some mixture of the aforementioned.
I'm also going to begin working out as soon as my elbow's recovery allows me to. I want to improve on myself.
(Go go dancing photos are stolen from the Myspaces of: Ethan Reynolds, Blake Riley and Cody Fallon and depict Ethan Reynolds, Cody Fallon, Blake Riley, and Roman Heart)Got questions? Go ahead and ask them in the comments!!