Friday, April 18, 2008

The things you say....you're unbelievable

Well, the boy drama has finally come to a head and is absolutely, for real, finally finished now. I'm going to write all about it -- from my perspective of course (and those involved are more than welcome to leave comments with their versions written out should they so choose). I realize this is the sort of post that tends to get me in trouble with people, but you know what? I officially don't care. :)

Last night, Tyler and I had a long conversation because I had been hearing things that went absolutely against the things he had been telling me about the whole situation that had arisen around Michael. He had been assuring me that he and Michael would just be friends, and I was hearing from multiple sources that he kept saying how unfair I was being and how impossible what I was asking was.
Now, I have trust issues and he knows that. So I told him that Thursday night as XS he would be given the chance to SHOW me that he and Michael were just friends. I told him they could not make out, all kissing (period) should remain on the cheeks -- if there had to be any. I told him I didn't want them to be alone for long periods of time. Maybe I was being unfair, but as I said to Tyler, who in this whole situation has been being fair to me either?
(Of course, Tyler insisted that he'd been fair since the very beginning but...you know, I didn't quite see it that way and he didn't really give any examples of that.)

So we were fine. We even went shopping together today. (And by shopping, I mean, I drove him so he could buy a shirt.) I also planned to drive him to his orientation for his summer job on Sunday (which I will still do unless he decides he wants another ride. I don't back down on things I say I'll do, even if shit has hit the fan and things suck ass.)

So, we get to XS tonight -- Amanda, Brighid, Tyler, and I. We meet up with a few of our friends and of course run into some by surprise (though Dylan -- who is straight -- was totally the biggest surprise of all! But yay for him being there!) Of course, Michael was there. And as soon as he joined our group, he and Tyler were basically attached at the hip. Which I didn't take issue with. Nor did I take issue with their almost constant dancing together or little bit more than friendly hand placement while doing so. (Okay, I'm kinda kidding -- I only noted hand placement like twice and it was not because I was watching their hands, I'm not that obsessive.) The first time the two disappeared off together, I was a little concerned. Especially because they took off, not like we left them. But I let it slide.
The second time they were alone together, I let it slide -- though not as easily.
The third time they took off to be alone, I was a lot less comfortable. Especially because it lasted much much longer than the other times -- around a half hour. On one occassion, when I was going to talk to Dylan, I passed by the room. I glanced in at the two of them on the couch -- of course. To my dismay, Tyler looked like he was moving away from Michael. Both had their hands raised, Michael's bent over his head. Tyler was in the middle of lowering his from what looked like the same position. To me that body language read: "We just made out!"

I fully intended to confront Tyler about this once the club closed. No such luck, as he found out rather quickly that I was upset. He exploded at me, denying that they had made out and claiming he'd done nothing wrong. That may be the truth, but here's the question:
If you knew you had a good friendship that was basically resting on one night, would you or would you not make an effort to keep that friendship?
Cause I wasn't seeing any effort on his part. Honestly, and I told Tyler this, if he'd asked me to lay off of a guy that I liked and who liked me, I would have. Without any hesitation. Isn't that part of being someone's best friend?

I texted Michael following this and apologized, saying that I had wanted to avoid it all that night. Truthfully, I had. He replied with a texting say he was too old for high school drama bullshit. (Which, while quite valid, was a tiny bit funny because Brendan mentioned that Michael's also been talking to a high school senior.) I said that I knew he was, and apologized again, and then -- finally working up the nerve, or possibly being royally pissed off enough -- I asked him if I could ask him a few questions before he never spoke to me again. For a long while there was no answer, so I sent another text that said I guessed that meant no and I hoped he had a good night. Then I got a reply: "What do you want to know?"
I narrowed my list of questions I didn't have enough spine to ask down to two: "Why don't you answer Amanda's texts?" and "What did I do, if anything, to make you stop being interested?" I clarified that the second question was merely for the sake of self-improvement -- although I expected that closure would help in the moving on process.
His response was that Amanda had only texted him once (though he'd never answered and she'd assumed this was a hint.) Then he said, and I'm quoting this directly from my phone: "secondly why the fuck are you so determined to control everyone's lives? its super irritating and im done with it"
Well, thanks, Michael, but I really didn't feel like I was controlling you before this Tyler thing arose (and even then, I was only trying to control one thing about one aspect of Tyler's life because it affected my life). So I asked for clarification: "How was i trying to control your life?"
His response: "Enough..i would prefer if we didnt talk for a while" Yeah, he's a charmer.
Frustrated, upset, and now even more pissed because I was being dropped by Michael again, I sent what may have been one of my meanest text messages ever. Possibly uncalled for, and I should probably apologize for it later, but it legit did make me feel better: "Don't answer. Nice of you to still leave me hanging. That does seem to be something you're good at. Have a good however long a while is then. Bye."

Bottom line is: I don't give a rat's ass anymore and those two can do whatever they want. I'm done with them both.

I don't know what I would do without this blog. I'm so much calmer right now, having written this all out, that I can even imagine sleeping tonight!!

5 comments:

A Lewis said...

"Come to a head..." Like a pimple? A big old zit?

Grahamburger said...

Something like that, Lewis, yes. :P

Anonymous said...

That boy does not deserve you ! :)

Ignore him. He is not worth it! I have not been around XS lately (the play really took all my free time, but yay! its over now!)... But no one is worth that... I always say that if a guy I dated or was interested in, makes out with my friend then he is probably a whore and not worth dating anyway :D In fact, this happened to me once... It never works out for the other couple either...

I did not go to XS last night bc I have an eye problem and cant use my contacts so I am BLIND :D haha Besides my boyfriend was working so I did not want to go w/o him.... :)

I think you are a dateable person. Geez... did you made that word up yourself? lol... Anyway, I still think you should see it the other way: you are dating the wrong ppl..

But reading your blog is still entertaining... :) Boy drama... Ah... The other day at XS I almost got slapped in the face thanks to Boy Drama.... and alcohol... (Roommate of guy I had sex... Guy I had sex with had BF and I sort of knew about it... But he convinced me he was getting out of that relationship... Roommate thought I was a bastard, wanted to hit me or something LOL Two weeks later, roommate tried to touch my penis in front of my BF, LOL Apparently he likes me... So he was just jealous... He is such a bastard! haha.... ) .... Boy Drama is almost synonym of gay life hahaha :P


BTW My blog is just on my myspace page !!

Grahamburger said...

I am becoming rapidly more and more aware of how much better off I am without Michael, at the very least. You ought to see his away message -- it's unnecessarily cruel. So much for him being too mature for high school drama -- the rest of us think this shit is over.

I'll take your excuses for not going to XS, but you better be there in two weeks! I'll be back, and I don't think my elbow will be good enough for me to be dancing so I'll just be sitting on a couch or something all night.

Yeah, I made up the word dateable. :P

Anonymous said...

Always trust your intuition. It seems to me like all clues point no where good....and you're right...if I knew it was necessary to be an extra good friend and behave myself one night because if I didn't, it would really upset my friend (or whoever), you can bet I wouldn't be galavanting off and not paying attention to what I was doing. To me, his behavior says A LOT....clearly he doesn't respect you or your feelings.